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sons of the greatest merit, abilities, and perfection.' The handsome, the strong, and the wealthy, imme. diately pressed forward; but not being able to bear the splendour of the mirror, which played upon their faces, they immediately fell back among the crowd: but as the goddess tried the multitude by her glass, as the eagle does its young ones by the lustre of the sun, it was remarkable, that every one turned away his face from it, who had not distinguished himself either by virtue, knowledge, or capacity in business, either military or civil. This select assembly was drawn up in the centre of a prodigious multitude, which was diffused on all sides, and stood observing them, as idle people used to gather about a regiment that are exercising their arms. They were drawn up in three bodies : in the first, were the men of virtue; in the second, men of knowledge; and in the third, the men of business. It was impossible to look at the first column without a secret veneration, their aspects were so sweetened with humanity, raised with contemplation, emboldened with resolution, and adorned with the most agreeable airs, which are those that proceed from secret habits of virtue. I could not but take notice, that there were many, faces among them which were unknown, not only to the multitude, but even to several of their own body.
In the second column, consisting of the men of knowledge, there had been great disputes before they fell into the ranks, which they did not do at last without the positive command of the goddess who presided over the assembly. She had so ordered it, that men of the greatest genius and strongest sense were placed at the head of the column. Behind these were such as had formed their minds very much on the thoughts and writings of others. In the rear of
the column were men who had more wit than sense, or more learning than understanding. All living authors of any value were ranged in one of these classes; but, I must confess, I was very much surprised to see a great body of editors, critics, commentators, and grammarians, meet with so very ill à reception. They had formed themselves into a body, and, with a great deal of arrogance, demanded the first station in the column of knowledge; but the goddess, instead of complying with their request, clapped them all into liveries, and bid them know themselves for no other but lacquies of the learned.
The third column were men of business, and consisting of persons in military and civil capacities. The former marched out from the rest, and placed themselves in the front; at which the others shook their heads at them, but did not think fit to dispute the post with them. I could not but make several observations upon this last column of people ; but I have certain private reasons why I do not think fit to communicate them to the public. In order to fill up all the posts of honour, dignity, and profit, there was à draught made out of each column of men, who were masters of all three qualifications, in some degree, and were preferred to stations of the first rank. The second draught was made out of such as were possessed of any two of the qualifications, who were disposed of in stations of a second dignity. Those who were left, and were endowed only with one of them, had their suitable pósts. When this was over, there remained many places of trust and profit unfilled, for which there were fresh draughts made out of the surrounding multitude, who had any appearance of these excellencés, or were recommended by those who possessed them in reality.
All were surprised to see so many new faces in the
most eminent dignities; and, for my own part, I was very well pleased to see that all my friends either kept their present posts, or were advanced to higher.
Haying filled my paper with those particulars of my vision which concern the male part of mankind, I must reserve for another occasion the sequel of it, which relates to the fair sex.
*** Whereas a performance of music was designed for this day at Stationers’-hall, for the benefit of Mr. Turner, who sets the music for the British Apollo; some of the performers being engaged to-night at the Opera, he is obliged to defer it till to-morrow, being Wednesday the 30th of this instant November, at Stationers’-hall, where will be performed an extraordinary concert of music, consisting of songs for one, two, and three voices, particularly those set for the British Apollo; besides several full pieces of music for trumpets, hautboys, violins, &c. by Mr. Dean, Mr. Mansheip, and others. Also a solo of the famous Archangelo Corelli, performed by Mr. Dean and Mr. Bulkly. To which will be added a twopart song by Mr. Turner and Mr. Reading, composed by the late famous Dr. Blow, never yet performed in public. Tickets may be had at Mr. Walsh's, in Catherine-street in the Strand, at 2s. 6d. each. To begin at 6 o'clock. The tickets dated for to-day will be taken to-morrow.
No. 101. THURSDAY, DECEMBER 1, 1709.*
--Sed cùm fregit subsellia versu,
FROM MY OWN APARTMENT, NOV, 30.
The progress of my intended account of what happened when justice visited mortals, is at present interrupted by the observation and sense of an injustice against which there is no remedy, even in a kingdom more happy in the care taken of the liberty and
pro* STEELE's and Addison's.-On the authority of the list delivered by Steele to Tickell. See Addison's “Works,' first edit. 4to. vol, ii, p. 218,
perty of the subject, than any other nation upon earth. This iniquity is committed by a most impregnable set of mortals, men who are rogues within the law; and in the very commission of what they are guilty of, professedly own that they forbear no injury, but from the terror of being punished for it. These miscreants are a set of wretches we authors call pirates, who print any book, poem, or sermon, as soon as it appears in the world, in a smaller volume; and sell it, as all other thieves do stolen goods, at a cheaper rate. I was in my rage calling them rascals, plunderers, robbers, highwaymen—But they acknowledge all that, and are pleased with those, as well as any other titles ; nay, will print them themselves to turn the pennyk.
I am extremely at a loss how to act against such open enemies, who have not shame enough to be touched with our reproaches, and are as well defended against what we can say as what we can do. Railing, therefore, we must turn into complaint, which I cannot forbear making, when I consider that all the labours of my long life may be disappointed by the first man that pleases to rob me. I had flattered myself, that my stock of learning was worth a hundred and fifty pounds per annum, which would very handsomely maintain me and my little family, who are so happy, or so wise, as to want only necessaries. Before men had come up to this bare-faced impudence, it was an estate to have a competency of understanding.
k This paper seems to have been occasioned by the pirated edition of • the Lucubrations, which came out just at this time. The following advertisement concerting it was subjoined to the next paper in the original edition of the Tatler in folio, and often repeated in the subsequent numbers. • Whereas I am informed, that there is a spurious and very incorrect edition of these papers printed in a small volume; these are to give notice, that there is in the press, and will speedily be published, a very neat edition, fitted for the pocket, on extraordinary good paper, a new brevier letter, like the Elzevir editions, and adorned with several cuts, by the best artists. To which is added, a preface, index, and many notes, for the better explanation of these Lucubrations. By the author, who has revised, amended, and made many additions to the whole. N. B. Notice shall be given in this paper, when I conclude my first volume.'
An ingenious droll, who is since dead (and indeed it is well for him he is so, for he must have starved had he lived to this day), used to give me an account of his good husbandry in the management of his learning. He was a general dealer, and had his amusements as well comical as serious. The merry rogue said, “When he wanted a dinner, he writ a paragraph of Table Talk, and his bookseller upon sight paid the reckoning.' He was a very good judge of what would please the people, and could aptly hit both the genius of his readers, and the season of the year, in his writings. His brain, which was his estate, had as regular and different produce as other men's land. From the beginning of November, till the opening of the carpaign, he writ pamphlets and letters to members of parliament, or friends in the country. But sometimes he would relieve his ordinary readers with a murder, and lived comfortably a week. or two upon strange and lamentable accidents.' A little before the armies took the field, his way was to open your attention with a prodigy; and a monster, well writ, was two guineas the lowest price. This prepared his readers for his 'great and bloody news' from Flanders, in June and July. Poor Tom'! he is gone-But I observed, he always looked well after a battle, and was apparently fatter in a fighting year. Had this honest careless fellow lived till now, famine had stared him in the face, and interrupted his merriment; as it must be a solid affliction to all those whose
is their portion. I The person here alluded to, was probably the humorous Tom Brown, who died in the year 1704, and was buried in the cloister of Westminster Abbey, near the remains of Mrs. Behn, with whom he was intimate in his life-time. His works were printed in 4 yols. 12mo. in 1707.