He is a

'Just

my mother will wish you behind the fire présently, young gentleman!-but no such thing!-for just at that moment, she turned round, and seeing how he was occupied, asked, if the cage should be taken down to amuse him: sweet boy, Mrs Fidget,' says she; how old is he?' turned of four,' says Mrs Fidget. Only four,' says my mother, he is a remarkably fine strong boy for that age!' He is indeed a fine child,' says Mrs Fidget, but don't, my dear, do that,' says she, you frighten the poor bird.'-As the Miss Fidgets were about to put him down, my mother ventured to assure them, that he would do no harm; Pretty little fellow,' says she, 'pray let him amuse himself!' All this while the two pug-dogs were reconnoitring the drawing-room and furniture, jumping upon the sofa continually with their dirty feet, and repeatedly trying to discern (by the application of their pug-noses to our feet and knees) who my mother and myself could be, barking besides in concert at every movement and every strange noise they heard in the passage and hall :-Mrs Fidget sometimes pretending to chide them, and my mother as carefully pretending to excuse them with her whole heart:often did I catch her casting, as I thought, a wishful eye on the letter to my sister, which lay unfinished on the table; nay, once even when her attention had been particularly solicited to some extraordinary attitudes into which the little dogs had been severally bidden to put themselves for her express amuse

ment.

But these canine exhibitions were nothing to the one with which we were afterwards threatened; for my mother's high commendations of the little gentleman of four years old, induced his sisters to propose to their mother that he should let Mrs Dermont hear how well he could spout !ThinksI-to-myself, in some confusion, spout what? where? how?' I soon found, however, that it only meant, that he should entertain us with a specimen of his premature memory and oratorical talents, by speaking a speech. Strong solicitations were accordingly made to little Master, to begin the requir ed display of his rhetorical abilities, but whether it were on account of shyness, or indolence, or sulkiness, or caprice, or, in short, merely that little Master was not in a spouting cue, he betrayed such an obstinate repugnance to the task imposed upon him, that it required all the solicitations of the rest of the party to induce him to make the smallest advances towards the exhibition proposed. Each of his sisters

went down on her knees to coax him, while Mrs Fidget huffed and coaxed, and coaxed and huffed by turns, till she was almost tired of it-now promising such a load of sweetmeats as soon as he got home if he would but begin, and in the same breath threatening the severest application of the rod if he did not instantly comply-at one time kissing him and hugging him, with a Now, do, my dearest love, be a man and speak your speech;' at another almost shaking his head off his shoulders, with a stupid boy! how can you be so naughty before company?' At last, however, upon my mother's tapping the pretty child under the chin, and taking him kindly by the hand, and expressing (Heaven bless her!) the most ardent wish and desire to be indulged, he did condescend to advance into the middle of the room, and was upon the point of beginning, when Mrs Fidget most considerately interposed, to procure him to put his right foot a little forwarder, with the toe more out, and to direct him about the proper motion, that is, the up-lifting and downdropping of his right arm during the performance—one of his sisters, in the mean time, seating herself near to him, for fear of any accidental slip or failure in the young gentleman's miraculous memory.

His first attempt was upon Pope's Universal Prayer, but unfortunately, of the fourth line, he managed constantly to make but one word, and that so odd a one, that the sound but ill atoned for the manifest ignorance of the sense.

Jovajovalord! This was the word, and the only word that could be got out of his mouth, and Thinks-I-to-myself, it would be well if no greater blunders had ever been committed with regard to that insidious line; however, in consequence of this invincible misnomer, the Universal Prayer was laid by, and other pieces successively proposed, till it was at length unanimously determined, that what he shone most in, was King Lear's Address to the Tempest, and this was accordingly fixed upon as his chef-d'œuvre in the art of oratory. Some preliminaries, however, in this instance, appeared to be necessary. It was not reasonable to suppose young Master could address a storm without some sort of symptoms at least of a real storm. It was agreed upon

therefore, that he should not commence his speech till he heard a rumbling noise proceed from the company present, and we were all desired to bear our part in this fictitious thunder; how we all thundered, I cannot pretend to say, but so it was, that, in due time, by the aid of such noises as we could severally and jointly contribute, the storm began most nobly, when the young orator stepping forward, his eyes and right hand raised, and his right foot protruded, secundum artem, he thus began:

'Blow winds and cack your cheeks.'

Crack your cheeks, my love,' says his sister in great haste and agitation; 'What can you mean by cack your cheeks? What's that, pray?"Ay, what is that?' says Mrs Fidget;

but I believe, Ma'am,' adds she, turning to my mother, 'I must make his excuses for him; you must know he cannot be brought yet to pronounce an R, do all' we can, so that he always leaves it quite out, as in the case of cack for crack, or he pronounces it exactly like a W. Thinks-Ito-myself, many do the like. We choose speeches for him, therefore,' continues Mrs Fidget, in which there are many R's, on purpose to conquer the difficulty, if we can; begin again, my dear,' says she, and pray remember not to leave out your R R's.' So he began afresh :

Blow winds and cwack your cheeks!"

દ

'Crack,' says Mrs Fidget, why that is almost as bad; try again.

This stop and impediment, however, was fatal to the young orator's progress, and therefore at last, Mrs Fidget being rested, they all proposed to go. Thinks-I-to-myself, now my poor mother will be happy again! but she, good soul, seemed to have got quite fond of them, in consequence of the extraordinary length of their stay she could not now so easily part with them she was sure Mrs Fidget could not be thoroughly rested the clock had but just struck two: if they would but stay a little longer, my father would be come home from his ride, and he would be greatly mortified to miss seeing them; but nothing would do:--go they must.-Thinks-I-to-myself, now a fig for your friend

ship, Mrs Fidget:what! not stay when my mother so earnestly presses it! not stay, when she declares your going will mortify my worthy father! No, nothing would stop them away they went;-not, however, indeed, without sundry promises on their part soon to call again, and divers most earnest entreaties on my mother's, on no account to forget it.

They were scarce got out of the front door before my father entered: Are they really all gone at last?' says he, 'I thought they would have staid till doomsday :-Who, in the world, were they all ? O dear,' says my mother, why Mrs Fidget and all her tribe; girls and boy, and two pugdogs. Thank my stars, I escaped them,' says my father. Thinks-I-to-myself, great symptoms of mortification my dear father shows at having had the misfortune to miss seeing them! I declare,' says my mother, it is abominable to break in upon one in this manner :—it was impossible to entertain such a group; so while Mrs Fidget and I were in conversation, her young people and the dogs had nothing to do but to tease the bird, and dirty the furniture; that little monkey of a boy is always in mischief ;-I could freely have boxed his ears;I thought he would have killed my poor bird; I was in the midst of a letter to Caroline, and now it's too late for the post ;-how Mrs Fidget can spend all her time in visiting and walking about in the manner she does, I cannot conceive: I am to take it as a great and singular favour, she tells me, as she always does every time she comes, thinking, I suppose, that I don't know she is never at home,I think she'll lose that boy;-I never saw such a puny sickly child in my life!'-Thinks-I-to-myself,-O poor Mrs Fidget: fine stout boy of its age!

My father, with a great deal of good breeding in general, was a plain blunt man in the mode of expressing his sentiments; so that my mother had scarcely finished what she had to say, but my father burst out Tiresome woman,' says he, she ought to be confined;-she's always wandering about with a tribe of children and dogs at her heels :there's poor Mrs Creepmouse is quite ill from her visits; you know what a nervous créature she is. My father would have gone on ever so long, probably in this strain, had not the servant entered with a note; which my mother immediately opened, and read aloud; the contents being to the fol lowing effect: Mr and Mrs Meekin present their compliments to Mr and Mrs Dermont, and shall be extremely

happy to have the honour of their company to dinner on Saturday next at five o'clock.' Thinks-I-to-myself, how civil, how polite, and obliging!-The servant was ordered to withdraw, and tell the messenger to wait.-As soon as he was gone, "Good God!' says my father, these people will never let us alone;-surely we dined there last :'-my mother thought not ;-my father thought they were for ever dining there ;-my mother convinced him by a reference to her pocket-book, that Mr and Mrs Meekin were quite right as to the balance of debtor and creditor;- Well, only take care,' says my father, that we do not get into a habit of dining there above once or twice a year at the utmost ;—it is really too great a sacrifice.'-'What, do you mean to go, then?' says my mother. 'Go,' says my father, 'why I suppose we must.'-'I wish they were further,' says my dear mother; I wish they were at Jericho,' says my dear father:I had rather do any thing than go on Saturday,’ says my mother :-' I had rather be hanged than ever go,' says my father, it is such an intolerable bore:'-' Well,' says my mother, but the servant's waiting.'-So she took the pen, and away she wrote two or three lines in a moment: There,' says she to my father, will that do?'Thinks-I-to-myself, short and sharp probably !-My father, happily for me, read it aloud: Mr and Mrs Dermont return their compliments to Mr and Mrs Meekin, and will wait upon them with the greatest pleasure on Saturday to dinner.' Thinks-I-to-myself, well done my sweet-tempered mamma! how mild and how forgiving! but my father surprised me most; instead of throwing it into the fire as I expected, he declared it would not only do, but do vastly well: -he therefore sealed it himself, rang the bell, gave it to the servant, and desired that they would give their best compliments: And mind,' says he, 'you ask the servant how they all do; be sure you make him understand.'—ThinksI-to-myself, what heavenly mindedness! what christian charity!

I expected the servant every moment to return with an account of our friends' health; but no such thing; my father and mother seemed to have quite forgot they had made the inquiry. I ventured to remind them of the servant's neglect. Ah says my father, my boy, you don't know the world.'