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gentle and simple, fair and furrowed, cosmetecised and unwashed; what a forest of digits, some sparkling with diamonds, some unadorned, and a whole multitude cinctured with the wedding ring! You, on the contrary, who feel yourselves happier than you were-hold up your hands. Alack! what a pitiful minority! A few youths who left school at the last Christmas holidays, and an equal number of girls who, having dismissed their governesses, are to come out this season. Young and sanguine dupes, enjoy your happiness while ye may: I am not serpent enough to whisper a syllable in your ear that might accelerate the loss of your too fleeting paradise !

THE TWO BRACELETS.

A FARMER General, one Monsieur B

Who dwelt in France when Louis held the throne,
Lived like a Prince from every trouble free,

Except a wife-(th' exception's large I own,)
For she was fat as any Marshioness,
And given to extravagance in dress.
One day she bought a pair of bracelets—such

As few but royal damsels would bespeak;
They cost-I cannot recollect how much,

But they were quite magnificent-unique,
And having clasp'd them on, away she flies
Off to the Opera to show her prize.
It happened that the Queen was there that night,

Just opposite the box that Madam took,
And on the bracelets with intense delight

Frequently look'd-or else appear'd to look ;
For she took special care to have them seen,
As if on purpose to outvie the Queen.
Soon to the box-door came a page, attired

In the queen's proper liv'ry, all in style,
And in the name of majesty required

One of the bracelets for a little while,
That by her eye she might the pattern take,
And order some of the exact same make.

Off went the sparkling bauble in a trice,

While her rouged cheeks with exultation burn,
As, bowing to the royal party thrice,

She patiently expected its return;
But when the queen retired, and none was sent,
Our dame began to wonder what it meant.
A lord in waiting soon confirm'd her fears :

“Oh, that pretended page I've often seenA noted sharper-has been such for years.

Madamı, you 're robb’d-he came not from the queen: I knew the rogue, and should have had him taken,

But that he slipp'd away, and saved his bacon."
Boiling with anger, madam call'd her coach,

And drove to the Bureau de la Justice,
Where with loud tongue, and many a keen reproach

About the shameful state of the police,
She call'd upon the provost for relief,
And bade him send his men to catch the thief.
Early next morn she heard the knocker's din ;

Her heart beat higli, with expectation big,
When lo! the provost's clerk was usher'd in-,

A formal consequential little prig,
Who, with a mighty magisterial air,
Hem'd! and began his business to declare.
“Madam, a man is brought to our bureau,

On whom was found a bracelet of great cost,
And we are all anxiety to know

Whether or not it is the one you lost;
Wherefore I'll take the other, if you please,
Just to compare, and see if it agrees."
“Dear sir, I'm overjoy'd—'tis mine, I'm sure ;

Such a police as our's how few can boast!
Here, take the bracelet-keep the rogue secure,

I'll follow you in half an hour at most ;
Ten thousand thanks-I hope you'll trounce the spark,

Open the door, there, for the provost's clerk !" O! how she chuckled as she drove along,

Settling what pangs the pilferer should feel;
No punishment appear'd to her too strong,

E'en should the wretch be broken on the wheel;
For what infliction could be reckon'd cruel,
To one who would purloin so rich a jewel?
Arrived at the Bureau, her joy finds vent:

“Well, Mr. Provost, where's the guilty knave?

The other bracelet by your clerk. I sent,

Doubtless it matches with the one you have ;
Why, then, outstretch your mouth with such surprise,
And goggle on m. Thus with all your eyes ?
“La! bless me, ma'am, you're finely hoax'd-good lack !

I sent no clerk, no tief have we found out,
And the important it tle prig in black

Was the accomplice of the page no doubt;
Methinks the lascais unght have left you one,
But both your bracelets nou are fairly gone!”

PATENTS AND PROJECTS EXTRAORDINARY!

“Our victories only led us to farther visionary prospects; ad. vantage was taken of the sanguine temper which success had wrought the nation up to."

SWIFT. What pigmies in intellect, however gigantic in stature, were those old rebellious Carbonari, the Titans, with their clumsy expedien: of piling Pelion unon Ossa, and their hopeful project of taking the skies by escalade! It is the moderns, with their diminutive bodies and Titanian intellects, piling up one discovery upon another, and bringing all matter under the dominion of mind, who have climbed up, as it were, into the heavens, detected ail the laws, motions, and distances of the ecclesiastical bodies, and brought the whole system of the uniserse as much within the grasp of our apprehension as if it were as tangible as the planisphere upon our table, by which it is represented in epitome. Having found for our moral lever what Archimedes wanted for his material one--a basis, we have performed what he threatened, by raising the world. When queen Elizabeth told Bacon that his house was too small for him, he replied--“ It is your majesty who have made me too big for my house :" we are all of us in the same predica:neut with respect to the earth wherein we dwell; the majesty of our minds has made it too narrow for our full expansion. This

paltry sphere was well enough in the outset of our career, hut we have penetrated into all its secrets, analysed its composition, sifted, weighed, decompounded, exhausted, used it up, and conquered it, and have nothing left, but, like so many Alexanders, to sit down and blubber for a new one. Have we not rummaged and ransacked its uttermost corners, until the Row is reduced to the greatest difficulty in keeping up the annual supply of new travels ? have we not mounted above the clouds in bal. loons, made our descent upon the earth in parachutes, like so many Apollos with umbrellas above our heads; drawn down electric fire from heaven, without incurring the punishment of Prometheus; sported beneath the waves in diving bells, and constructed subaqueous edifices with as much composure as if we were running up a coral palace for Amphitrite; crawlęd into the very bowels of the earth to extract its riches, by the assistance of Davy's wire-gauze lamp, 'more wonderful than Aladdin's; and sunk wells with as much perseverance as if we were digging to unkennel that freshwater mermaid-Truth? By wielding the omnipotence of an impalpable vapour, we have acquired such a dominion over matter, that there is nothing too stupendous for the all-subjugating grapple of our machines, while we can impel ponderous vessels through the waves, even against wind and tide, with the velocity of a thunderbolt : from coal and oil we have extracted a subtle gas, which, being conducted for miles through subterranean darkness, or brought to our doors and retailed by the pini or half pint, supplies at will a perpetual light; by means of the telegraph we can converse in a few hours with persons stationed at a distance of a whole continent; and by the magic of writing we can not only conjure up a portrait of the minds of the ancients, by referring to their works, (so much more interesting than any copy of their bodily linea

ments which might have been committed to the perishable records of paint or marble, but we can eternize our own thoughts, sentiments, almost our very voices, and transmit them unimpaired to the latest posterity, when the evanescent frame from which they emanated shall be scattered in the air in the form of dust. Really, one's mind may be allowed to strut a little in the pride of its achievementsto parody the artist's “Ed io anche son' Pittore !" by exclaiming, “I, too, am a man !” to look down with some contempt on its fleshly tegument, as upon a scurvy companion whom it only condescends to notice from certain ties of consanguinity; and even to consider the spacious earth itself as but a larger species of prison, or cage, from which we shall ultimately escape, and take our flight to enjoy in a nobler sphere a more exalted destiny.

If we are already prone to leap out of our materiality in the vain glorious aspirations of the spirit, what shall restrain us within the bounds of moderation when all improvements now projecting shall have received their full accomplishment, and the new patents for which applications have been made shall have been practically developed? The company for realizing Dr. Darwin's suggestion of moderating the burning ardours of the torrid zone, by towing a large portion of the icebergs from the northern to the southern latitudes, is already in a considerable state of forwardness, and the shares are selling at a handsome premium. From this most ingenious process a double advantage will be derived : First, in so tempering the rigour of the Arctic circle, by withdrawing the frozen barrier in which it is immured, that the Esquimaux may be enabled to crawl, for three whole months of the year, out of the holes in which they live, without having their noses nipped off by the scissors of Boreas, while the Laplanders may turn the woolly side of the skins in which they are clothed, outwards instead VOL. II.

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