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more boldly lay the blame on those his Grace brings with him." The Cardinal made a solemn oration, and when he ceased, behold the whole house was struck by one unbroken and dead silence! The minister addressed several personally-each man was a mute. Discovering that he could not carry his point by his presence, he seemed to recollect that the custom of the house was to speak by the mouth of their speaker, and Wolsey turned to him: More, in all humility, explained the cause of the universal silence, by the amazement of the house at the presence of so noble a personage, besides that it was not agreeable to the liberty of the house to offer answers-that he himself could return no answer, 66 except every one of the members could put into his head their several wits." The Minister

abruptly rose, and departed. Shortly after, Wolsey in his gallery at Whitehall, told More, "Would to God you had been at Rome, Mr. More, when I made you Speaker!" "So would I too!" replied More; and then immediately exclaimed, "I like this gallery much better than your gallery at Hampton Court;" and thus talking of pictures, he broke off "the Cardinal's displeasant talk.”

CRUELTY OF THE LATE KING FERDINAND WHEN A BOY.-Amongst other facts recorded of him I will mention one only, committed in the chamber of his mother. The queen had a dog of extreme beauty, and Ferdinand, whilst pretending to play with him, caused him to swallow a little ball, in which were small pins stuck in various directions, and then covered them over with paste. The unhappy dog swallowed the fatal ball, when the Prince holding in his hand a piece of twine, to which he had attached the ball, began to draw it upwards. The dog uttered piteous cries. The queen ran to his aid, and the young wretch redoubling his efforts caused a portion of the intestines of the animal to attach to the pins, and drew it through his throat.-Morn. Chron.

EFFECTS OF COLD.-" Sir, I shall fine you for not wearing a white cravat with your academic dress," said a strict disciplinarian to an unfortunate freshman, on a raw morning in January. "Fine me! I assure you, Sir, my cravat is white.""-"How can you say so, Sir? Do I not see that it is blue.""Oh, Sir, it was white when I put it on this morning, but it looks blue from the cold."

THE WILD HORSES-The herds of

wild horses present a beautiful spectacle when they are alarmed in their native wilds by the intrusion of an army. Instead of flying, as the deer and other timid animals, they gallop round in compact masses of many thousands, apparently for the purpose of reconnoitring the strangers; and frequently advance boldly to within a few yards of the line of march, where they halt to gaze at the troops, snorting and shewing every sign of astonishment and displeasure, especially at sight of the cavalry. These droves are always headed by some fine-looking old bashaws, whose flowing manes and tails plainly shew that they have never been subject to man's control; and in the rear the mares and colts follow.

Literary Gazette.

A GENTLEMAN paying a visit one morning to a friend's, was shewn into a room, where on a writing-desk was a paper, on which a lady had begun to transcribe a song from the opera of "Love in a Village:" remarking that she had left off at the end of the two following lines:

In love should there meet a fond pair,
Untutor'd by fashion or art-
He took up a pen and completed the
verse, by adding :-

If on earth such a couple there are,
I'll be whipt at the tail of a cart!

At

THEOLOGICAL PROFUNDITY.-Every one knows that rowing is a favourite amusement with the Collegians at Oxford; and that the different boats, some with eight oars, some with six, some with four, are called by the names of the Colleges to which they respectively belong; as, "The Christchurch." "The Brazenose," "The Magdalen," &c. A young student, undergoing a public examination in divinity, manifested the grossest ignorance on the subject. length, the examinant, a good-natured man, and a friend of the student's, anxious to save him from the disgrace of being plucked, resolved to put a question, in the answer to which no blunder could possibly be made. The question was-" How many persons are there in the Trinity ?"-To this the student, without the slightest hesitation or difficulty, replied, "Four and a steerer." The universal roar of laughter that followed may easily be imagined.

ANIMAL SAGACITY.-There is now in the possession of Mr. Cross, of the White Hart Inn, Widcombe, a dog of the French poodle breed, whose sagacity and intelligence are such as almost

to rival the noble superior faculty of man. He will fetch any specific sum of money from the till, which he will open and shut himself; he will fetch and replace any article of wearing apparel, or other thing that is desired, from any drawer or cupboard, which he will open and close himself: he will fetch an ottoman and place it in the most proper position for his mistress's feet with great politeness and much thoughtful examination; he will put shoes, boots, and other litters out of sight upon the slightest bidding, and with a rapidity of movement that would put any domestic to the blush. It is worthy of notice that Philip (his name) is not quite twelve months old, and that he has acquired all this knowledge and usefulness without beating.

A CAMBRIAN MAGISTRATE.-A traveller reached late at night, one of the principal inns in a borough town in North Wales, and having acquired a pretty good appetite from the "sharp mountain air," took on board a tolerable cargo of provisions, and having stowed it all safe in the hold, he called for a bottle of wine, by way of wash ing down. On the landlord's appearance, he began to praise the excellent supper he had made, adding, "No one could have made a better." "Stop, stop," says the landlord, “You are in Wales, sir; and must not make personal comparisons, without adding, the mayor excepted." "No!" rejoins the other. "I'll except neither mayor nor alderman. I say no man could have made a better supper than I have done." "Will you not?" says Boniface, "Then, let me tell you, you'll be fined five shillings." "Fined or confined, it matters not, I'll except not a soul of them." The grateful landlord made his bow and exit; but the next morning summoned his guest before the mayor for this act of petty treason; and the fine was in consequence exacted and paid; when the traveller turning round to his landlord in open court, thus addressed him:-"I have travelled through the greatest part of England, Scotland, and Ireland, and, except the identical animal that chews the thistle, I have never met with so egregious an ass as you are, landlord," and then turning with an air of profound reverence to the bench, he added, "the mayor excepted."

POWER OF MEMORY.-The following is related by Dupin of the celebrated Cuvier, whom he has just succeeded as one of the forty members of the French

Academy:-"The labours by which Cuvier immortalized himself required immense powers of memory. His mind was stored not only with several thousand generic and specific names of animals of every species, but with the names and complicated genealogies of every leading family in Europe, both of times past and present. Nay, as if there were a craving after eastern luxury in this play of the memorative faculties, he could quote off hand the names and dynasties of every Asiatic prince and tribe, little as they seem deserving of the toil. He was probably the best informed scholar in Europe; and yet his memory humbled itself to the meanest subjects, and, as one who sought no other kind of scholarship, it heaped together all sorts of curious anecdotes, not forgetting the name of the parties concerned; and over and above all these recreations, faithfully husbanded the text of any lampoon, epigram, or occasional poem, which was likely to acquire historical importance."

A REGAL LUNATIC.-Christian the Seventh of Denmark, who died in 1808, it is well known, was long a lunatic. He knew one written document from another by its outward appearance, but seemed to delight in affixing his signature any where but on the fitting spot. Here he would decorate it with letters as large as the sheet itself, and there he would sketch all sorts of grotesque figures upon it, or subscribe some important decree of the Cabinet, like a Cockney chapman, with the words "Christian and Company." It was no rare occurrence for the stricken Monarch to labour hard at inditing his signature for an hour or two, and then, sending his pen to the furthest corner of the apartment, cry out, "We will write no more; we've signed enough to-day!" He was one day conversing with a foreign Envoy, when he suddenly stroked his proboscis, exclaiming, "If your master's nose had been pulled so long as my servants have pulled mine, his would be just as long as my own."-Those who dined at his table usually made no account of his royal presence, but chatted, roared, and amused themselves as if he had been a thousand miles from the spot. On one occasion, some ladies on either side of him having bent across him for the purpose of whispering some secret into one another's ears, he pushed each of their heads back into its proper place, then threw his clenched hands on the table, looked round with fury in his eyes,

and raising his voice to its loudest pitch, roared out amidst their revels, "Suppose I should suddenly come to the right use of my senses again, what next would you expect?" You might have heard a feather drop on the ground at the posing, thundering query echoed in their ears. There was not a soul present but quaked at the proof of returning sanity; nor did his Majesty choose to relieve them of their anxiety for several minutes. At last he nod ded to them, and resumed, with a goodhumoured smile, "Well, my friends, we'll let it pass for this once!"

GOOD NEIGHBOURS.-We copy the following from a Woodstock (Vermont, U.S.) paper :-An incident occurred in this neighbourhood on the 4th instant, so praiseworthy in itself, and so creditable to the parties concerned, that we cannot avoid noticing it. The blacksmith's shop of an old man named Philip Harman, living near the North Mountain, took fire on the 3d, and was entirely consumed, together with all its contents of a destructible nature, including his account book. The next morning about forty of his neighbours assembled on the spot, with six waggons and teams, and felled, hewed, and hauled up timber enough for another shop, which they raised up before night, besides making the old man up a purse of 16 dollars, to furnish him with the necessary tools to enable him to work again.

HOW TO ANSWER ONE QUESTION BY

--

ASKING ANOTHER. A pleasing example of this art, in which Saunders has the reputation among his south country neighbours of being a proficient, occurs in the traditional records of the farfamed University of Auld Reekie:A professor of what in this country is called Humanity, and who flourished not a hundred years ago, was not more noted for his classical attainments than for the delight which he took in exercising his wit upon such of his pupils, as he considered to be fair game, either on account of their negligence or stupidity. Amongst the latter, the learned professor seemed to think the wellknown David Erskine, the amiable character of whose venerable and excel

lent father, might have served to shield his untalented son from the caustic wit of this gentleman. On one occasion, when Davie had been less prepared than usual, the learned professor, in a supercilious manner, thus accosted the the unfortunate pupil:-" Pray, sir, can you tell me how long a man can

live without brains?" To which Davie, looking up in the face of the interrogator, and with a grin, to which his longitude of chin gave inimitable effect, promptly; but, unexpectedly replied, How auld may ye be yoursel professor?" -Scotsman.

ORIGIN OF DRINKING HEALTHS.Hengistus, General of the Saxons, had the Isle of Thanet given him by King Vortigern, for assisting him against the Picts and Scots, and also obtained as much ground as he could encompass with an ox's hide to build a castle, which being completed, he invited Vortigern to supper. After the entertainment Hengistus called for his daughter Rowena, who entered with great dignity and magnificence, carrying a golden bowl full of wine in her hand, out of which she drank, and in the Saxon language said, "Be of health, Lord King." To which Vortigern replied, “Drink health." This is the first health we hear of in history, and boasts an antiquity of more than thirteen hundred years. History adds, that King Vortigern, enamoured with Rowena's beauty married her in a short time after, and gave her father the kingdom of Kent.

SMOKING Members of PARLIAMENT. Among the standing orders of the House of Commons, issued about the middle of the seventeenth century, we find the following:- Ordered, that no Member of the House do presume to smoke tobacco in the gallery, or at the table of the House, sitting as Committees."-A Member of Parliament of the seventeenth, had not the dignity which pertaineth to an M.P. of the nineteenth century, and could, it appears, find pleasure in a pipe-a homely, though a somewhat inelegant, luxury. What a scene must St. Stephen have presented in the olden time, when probably a representative in alluding to another, would speak of the Honourable Member now lighting his pipe," or of "the Gallant Officer with the short cut!" It must have been amusing to hear disclaimers of any intention to be personal" on the Learned Gentleman now blowing a cloud opposite," or of any wish to wound the feelings of the worthy Member who had just emptied his tobacco-box."

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Illustrated Article.

THE FORGER.*

Link'd with one virtue, and a thousand crimes. Byron

Ar a recent period, when forgeries were so common, and so many criminals expiated their guilt on the scaffold, it was a singular fact, that the sufferers were almost invariably poor wretches, who passed small notes for a miserable sustenance, whilst the great wholesale manufacturers of the forged paper contrived to escape with impunity. This was attributed to their large capital and immense profits, which enabled them to adopt many expedients to avoid detection; and, above all, to their influence on the lower orders of the police. Whether this latter assertion be true or calumnious, certain it is, that the detection of the wholesale manufacturers and dealers in forged bank notes was very seldom, and bore no proportion whatever to that of the thriftless starving wretches, whose vices produced the misery that made them resort to such * Metropolitan,

VOL. X.

See page 148

criminal means of indulging in profligate habits. A few instances, however, did occur of great offenders being brought to justice; and the following history affords perhaps the most memorable of all such examples. The names are disguised from respect to the relatives of the principal criminal, whose family was reputable in conduct, and even well descended. This disguise of name is the only deviation from the strict truth of the history.

At a place called Py Bridge, about five miles from the great manufacturing town of B-, there had resided a farmer who, though inoffensive, and, as the people said, "keeping himself to himself," still attracted more notice than any of his equals in the county. This was, probably, of all things that which he was the most desirous to avoid.

Mr. Desfield's farm was very large, but the land was poor, and the scene around him was sterile and desolate ; and consequently his rent was low, and he required a greater number of labourers in his business.

164

He was a stranger in the county; nor could provincial curiosity discover from whence he had come, or who he was, though it was usually believed that he was a native of Kent; and whilst some asserted that he had been a captain in the army dismissed for some irregularity of conduct, others, and probably with as little foundation, maintained that he had been a desperate smuggler on the coast.

Desfield was a tall, powerful man, whose turn and action of limbs, and carriage of person, not only indicated great energy, but the very reverse of vulgar, rustic, or undisciplined strength. His features were strongly marked and extraordinarily well formed; but the expression of his countenance was certainly the very reverse of prepossessing. He appeared calm and reflective, a man of unconquerable firmness; but with a nobility of brow that carried pride and self-possessed haughtiness to the extremes of repulsive severity, whilst the drooping of the corners of his mouth, which was well-formed, and arose out of a short, thick and firm chin, was more expressive of scorn than any thing I ever witnessed.

Such was the man who had long been suspected of being the great Dagon of all forgers; and it was rumoured that he had brought more men to the gallows than all others in that iniquitous trade. But suspicion appeared to me to arise, in the first instance, from very inadequate canses. Desfield, or Mister, or Gentleman, or Esquire Desfield, as he was called in derision by his "brother farmers," had given great ground of offence to all his neighbours of his own class. In very difficult times, he was almost the only farmer that had paid his rent punctually, and without claiming or accepting any deductions of his landlord. He was on equally good terms with the rector, albeit disputes of the quantity had given way to discussions on the principle of tithes. He had occasioned even a deadly hatred in his brother farmers, by refusing to let any labourer in his employ receive aught of his wages out of the poor-rates; and each of them was paid from two to even five or six shillings a-week (if they had families) more than the labourers employed on the neighbouring farms.

To these substantial sources of enmity in a Christian country, were added others of almost equal heinousness. Mrs. Desfield was a plain, vulgar, hardworking woman: but then she was above going, or, what was the same

thing, she did not go to market like other farmers' wives; and then her daughter, the fresh and delicate, the graceful and beautiful young Emily Desfield, not only eclipsed all girls of her station in dress on Sunday, but her father had bought her a grand pianoforte at a sale of a bankrupt-banker's furniture. and the very master from B—, who taught singing and music to the rector's daughters, likewise taught her the same accomplishments. She rode a very fine horse, not to market, but "out a pleasuring, like any lady ;" and when these things were talked of, as they always were, by the farmers at the the inn dinner on market days, some kind-hearted neighbour would generally add, "Ah! no good will come of it, I'm sure;" whilst some equally kind Samaritan would add, "I'll be bound she's no better than she should be." Notwithstanding all this, Emily Desfield was a mild, unassuming girl, who always appeared pensive and unhappy; and the beauty of her father's attention to her was heightened by its appearing almost the only human sympathy of which he was possessed. Except at public places, he associated with nobody. Not a person had ever been regaled in his house. He was, of all men, the most scrupul. ously punctual at places of worship; for though good men may abstain from this, bad men never can; for the outward show of devotion is an indispensable muniment of the game they have to play in the world.

What, probably, hastened the determination of the police to suspect Desfield of forgery, was his unaccountable imprudence in denouncing the police officers as a set of bribed and corrupt persons; and this he never scrupled to do upon all occasions. His fate was sealed. This man's courage, boldness, and vigilance, with his extreme cunning and numerous resources, rendered it a task of no ordinary difficulty to capture him; that is to say, legally, and with the double object of securing the machinery which was to establish his guilt — if he was guilty a thing that was, as yet, only surmised upon envy, and strengthened by the fact that the man had always the command of large sums of

money.

The capture resolved upon, the mode of effecting it occasioned much discussion. The most determined and experienced police officer was entrusted with the warrant, and it was at last resolved that he should employ for his purpose a small party of the regiment of

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