T UESDAY January 1ft. 1765, When I awoke in the Morning, I found my Heart rais'd in Thankfulness to GoD Sk. IR for his Mercies, in bringing me to the Beginning of another Year; and found my Soul much in the fame Frame all the Day. O! may this Year be spent more to the Glory of my Almighty Maker and Preferver, than the last has been: and may every Thought, Word and Work, tend to this glorious End. Wednesday 2d. I found a Bleffing while dreffing, but loft it by giving way to Levity; yet the merciful LORD reflored it to me in the Evening: Eleffed be his Name. Thursday 3. I found my Soul in a dead, dull Frame, with a great Difinclination to Duty, which I did not yield to, and tho' I found no immediate Bleffing, yet I doubt not, but the LORD was pleafed with my Endeavours to wait upon him. Friday 4. I Awoke with fome Degree of Comfort, and had my Thoughts ftayed on the Things of GOD. I found a Defire, while I heard the Book of Martyrs read, of being like them; but could not fubmit to die for the Truth as they did; it feemed too great a Trial to Flesh and Blood: Yet I truft was the LORD to call me to it, He would give me Strength to bear it. all Saturday 5. I fpent the Morning in writing Letters to my dear Friends in ANTIGUA, for whom I find the most tender Affection. O! that we may at length, meet around the Throne, and ftand at the laft Day among the Sheep at his right Hand! O that each in the Day "Of his coming, might say: "I have fought my Way thro'. I have finished the Work thou didft give me to do. Sunday 6. In the Morning my Thoughts were ve ry Wandering and my Mind much difcompofed. When I came up, I read and writ my Journal and fpent the rest of the Morning comfortably. In the Afternoon I read the Experience of ELIZ. WEST, May I like the Bee fuck Honey out of every Flower, gather Profit out of every Book I read, every Sermon I hear, and every Occurrence in Life let it feem feem ever fo trifling. The Evening Text was Ifaiah Iviii, 1. Cry aloud and spare not Se, The Preacher fhewed our Tranfgreffions in the most glaring Cofours, and my own Confcience convicted me that I had done all which he had mentioned, and more too: fo that were I to be tryed by Works, I could not be faved. Monday 7. I found my Heart raised in Thankfulness for the Mercies of the Night paft. O for a Continuance of it! Surely had I always a deep Senfe of the innumerable Obligations I owe to my Almighty Benefactor, it would keep me from falling into many of thofe Things, which are fo Prevalent over me. LORD give me a thankful Heart. Tuesday 8. I awoke in a ferious Frame, but it did not continue long; for I yielded too much to wandering Thoughts, which robbed me of that Blefling. LORD make me more watchful for the Future! In the Evening my Uncle preached a Funeral Sermon, on, It is appointed nnto Men once to die, &c. Heb. ix. 27. My Soul was very much bleft, and stirred up to feek the LORD, but O how foon do my good Refolutions die away. They are like the Morning Cloud, and the early Dew which paffeth away. Lord ftrengthen, and confirm them. Wednesday 9. I found my Soul in a very dead Frame, and continued fo all the Day. I may truly fay, 66 My drowsy Powers why fleep ye so? "Nothing has half thy Work to do, Thou God of Love quicken my drooping Powers! Stir up and awaken my infenfible Soul, and give me to seek thy Face with my whole Heart! And O be thou found of me! Thursday 10. I was very cold and dead all the Day, and found neither Power, nor Inclination, to pray or read, which I yielded to; and paffed the Day without performing either of these Duties. O my God pardon my Sins of Omiffion, as well as thofe of Commiffion. They are both as innumerable as the Hairs of my Head, but thy Mercies are ftill more. Friday 11: I was very bufy this Day with fetting my Things in Order, which were come from London, and being in a Hurry, my Mind were not as flayed as I could have wished. O my God gather in my fcattered Thoughts, and let my Mind be fixt entire on Thee! Saturday 12. I was enabled blessed be the LORD, to be serious and watchful. In the Evening, Mr. Rodda preached. His Text was Mark, xii. 24. Thou art not far from the Kingdom of God. He fhewed ft. what the Kingdom of GOD is. 2dly. That by Nature we are all at a great Distance from it. 3dly. He described the Person who is not far from the Kingdom of GoD: And 4thly, made Application of the Whole. I was much bleft under the Sermon, and my Mind was stayed on what was delivered. Sunday 13. In the Evening, my Uncle preached on Isa. xxx. 21. This is the Way, walk ye in it. I found my Thoughts much compofed, but being in great Pain, I could not attend, as much as I found myself inclined to do. O how many Him drances have we while below! Sometimes from the World, fometimes from the Infirmities of the Body; and very often from a corrupt Heart! LORD, do thou arm me with thy Spirit's Might, and en-, able me to combate and overcome, all the Enemies of my Salvation. Monday 14. Our Clafs met at Ten as ufual, but my Soul was in a very wandering dead Frame, and afterwards I was as light and trifling; this is the natural Confequence of the other, if not strove againft. Tuesday, 15. I was in a very cold indifferent Frame all the Day. In the Evening my Uncle catechifed us, fuch a Spirit of Laughter came upon us, that we could hardly fpeak. Lord deliver us from a light, trifling Spirit, as alfo from an unloving, difputing Spirit. "Mutual Love the Token be "LORD that we belong to thee. In the Evening my Uucle preached on Hef. xiv. 1, 2. My Soul was bleft efpecially in finging the laft Hymn, which are thefe fweet Words "He'll never quench the fmoking Flax, "But raife it to a Flame: The bruifed Recd he never breaks, "Nor fcoras the meaneft Name. |
