against your former favourites, may it not be politic in you to try and make friends of the Whigs? PROTECTION. Those Whigs! those Whigs! not a man amongst 'em but knows, as well as you, that this Free Trade foolery must be put an end to, and yet not one of 'em has heart enough to say so. "Their strength is to sit still;" and there they loiter carelessly, as the vessel of the State rolls heavily on, every great interest of the country going by the board, while they sit smiling by. But they must know that the present state of things cannot last. To tell me that such men as the Marquess of Lansdowne-— and Lord John Russell-and Lord Palmerstonand Sir Francis Baring-and Sir John Hobhouseand-to tell me, that such men as those, believe we shall continue to pay the interest of the Debt,* with our ports always open for corn, is what I would not credit, even-with due deference be it said—even, if I were to hear it from their own lips. I admit that there exist somewhere, at least three men, who, doubtless with the best intentions, would, from their ignorance and their obstinacy, ruin this, or any other country, in a shorter given time, than a more celebrated triumvirate required, for dismembering the Roman Empire, on the little * As the Debt is beginning to cause anxiety to certain influential journalists, I venture to refer to a Letter from a Conservative, pages 28-30: and to a Letter from a Protectionist, &c., pages 38-40. island near Bologna. Possibly in our island, there may be more than three. What is our political Trinculo grumbling at there? "The folly of this island! They say there's but five upon this isle; we are three of them; if the other two be brained like us, the State totters-" Ay, Sir, and is not the State tottering? Have we not to save it from the weakness of those who rule over us, and from the wickedness of those who rule over them? The sad, but honest truth, Sir, is, that for many years now, the Government of this great empire has been virtually in the hands of the meanest, because the most selfish, of mankind; while its affairs have been ostensibly administered by a handful of overgrown schoolboys, with just brains enough to recite the immoral lessons they have learnt by rote in the cheapest and nastiest of "Schools." ARISTOCRAT. Egad! if she were in the House, wouldn't she give it 'em! (aside.) Really, Madam, I can scarcely wonder at the severity of your censure; but you may rely upon this: either the Whigs will rid us of Free Trade, or Free Trade will rid us of them; but I feel confident that, whatever it may suit them to say, at heart they are friendly to you, almost to a man. PROTECTION. I can't help fancying so too; and therefore, if you are decidedly of opinion that the mere change of name, from Protection to Revenue, will serve my cause, I make not the least objection. ARISTOCRAT. Madam, I am quite sure of it. PROTECTION. (gaily.) Do you know, now, that I have a great mind to let you into a secret; does not that heart of yours already throb to hear it? ARISTOCRAT. O, Madam, your condescension PROTECTION. Pray, be seated. (Aristocrat takes a chair at last, poor fellow!) You have already proposed to me (smiling) to change my name; what, if I were to tell you that my true name is not Protection? ARISTOCRAT. Gracious Heavens! Impossible! PROTECTION. I now tell you, Sir, fairly at once, that my real name is Compensation.-Listen to my story.(Aristocrat's chair approaches the sofa.)-You must know then, that I was born in 1815; soon after the termination of the war. ARISTOCRAT. Then you are just five-and-twenty. PROTECTION. Five-and-thirty, Sir. ARISTOCRAT. Charming age! PROTECTION. Yes-just after the conclusion of the war. And I was born-like Byron's Happiness-a twin; but in my case, the happiness ended where it began; for my brother has made me miserable from his birth; deceiving all his friends, and well nigh ruining all his connexions. ARISTOCRAT. Is it possible such a character can be twin brother of one like you? And what, pray, is his name? PROTECTION. Excuse me; his real name I would rather conceal: but he is familiarly known amongst the roués he frequents, as "Bill of '19"; although, in fact, he came into the world the same time as myself; but he proved such a shuffler from his birth, that he never dared show his face till May, 1823; and, in truth, he has had as many alibis, as any of the thousands of "Debtors" he has helped to make "Insolvent." Our Our poor dear Mama, The Debt, fell hopelessly ill of inflammation shortly after our birth-and a Commission of- ARISTOCRAT. And what became then of your interesting self? PROTECTION. Why, we were both of us placed under the care of an old nurse of the family, still lodging, dear old Lady, in Threadneedle-street. But all went wrong from the beginning. Brother Bill of '19 fell at once into the clutches of the Jews, and swore he would have his share of the property in hard gold; although Mama, poor thing, had nothing she could call her own but paper; which she had borrowed of those very Jews, who positively had been making her pay twenty-seven shillings for every guinea she required. ARISTOCRAT. Who then looked after your interests in this most iniquitous proceeding? PROTECTION. Why, Bob Acres, an old friend of Mama'squite l'ami de la maison-manfully took my part; and nearly frightened the Old Lady out of her wits, by proving to her that the whole family would be, and deserved to be, ruined, unless Compensation |