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Act 3. Scene 1.]
Arm. But O, but 0Moth. -the hobby-horse is forgot'. Arm. Call'st thou my love, hobby-horse? Moth. No, master; the hobby-horse is but a colt', and your love, perhaps, a hackney. But 5 have you forgot your love?
Arm. Almost I had.
Cost. No egma, no riddle, no l'envoy; no salve in the male, sir: O sir, plantain, a plain plantain; no l'envoy, no l'envoy, or salve, sir, but a plantain!
Arm. By virtue, thou enforcest laughter; thy silly thought, my spleen; the heaving of my lungs provokes me to ridiculous smiling: O, pardon me, my stars! Doth the inconsiderate take salve for l'envoy, and the word l'envoy for a salve? Moth. Doth the wise think them other? is not l'envoy a salve?
Moth. Negligent student! learn her by heart.
Arm. No, page; it is an epilogue or discourse,
The fox, the ape, and the humble-bee,
Now will I begin your moral, and do you follow
The fox, the ape, and the humble-bee,
Arm. Until the goose came out of door,
Moth. A good l'envoy, ending in the goose;–
Cost. The boy hath sold him a bargain, a goose [lat.that's flat:
Sir, your penny-worth is good, an your goose be 35 To sell a bargain well, is as cunning as fast and loose:
Arm. What wilt thou prove?
Moth. A man, if I live; and this, by, in, and without, upon the instant: By heart you love her, because your heart cannot come by her; in heart 151 you love her, because your heart is in love with her; and out of heart you love her, being out of heart that you cannot enjoy her.
Arm. I am all these three.
Moth. And three times as much more, and yet 20 nothing at all.
Arm. Fetch hither the swain; he must carry me a letter.
Moth. A message well sympathiz'd; a horse to be embassador for an ass!
Arm. Ha, ha; what sayest thou?
Moth. Marry, sir, you must send the ass upon
Arm. I say, lead is slow.
Moth. You are too swift, sir, to say so: Is that lead slow, which is fir'd from a gun?
Arm. Thy meaning, pretty ingenious? Is not lead a metal heavy, dull, and slow?
Moth. Minimè, honest master; or rather,
Arm. Sweet smoke of rhetorick:
He reputes me a cannon; and the bullet, that's
Let me see a fat l'envoy; ay, that's a fat goose. Arm. Come hither, come hither: How did this argument begin?
Moth. By saying, that a Costard was broken in a shin: then call'd you for the l'envoy.
Cost. True, and I for a plantain; thus came your argument in: that you
Then the boy's fat l'envoy,
Arm. But tell me; how was there a Costard' broken in a shin?
Moth. Thump then, and I flee. Arm. A most acute juvenal; voluble and free [face: of grace; By thy favour, sweet welkin', I must sigh in thy Most rude melancholy, valour give thee place. My herald is return'd.
Re-enter Moth and Costard.
Moth. A wonder, master; here's a Costard
Arm. Some enigma, some riddle: come,-thy |50|
Moth. I will tell you sensibly.
Cost. Thou hast no feeling of it, Moth; I will speak that l'envoy :—
1 In the celebration of May-day, besides the sports now used of hanging a pole with garlands, and dancing round it, formerly a boy was dressed up representing maid Marian; another like a friar; and another rode on a hobby-horse, with bells jingling, and painted streamers. After the Reformation took place, and Precisians multiplied, these latter rites were looked upon to savour of paganism; and then maid Marian, the friar, and the poor hobby-horse, were turned out of the games. Some who were not so wisely precise, but regretted the disuse of the hobby-horse, no doubt, satirized this suspicion of idolatry, and archly wrote the epitaph above alluded to. Now Moth, hearing Armado groan ridi -humourously pieces out his exclamation with the sequel of culously, and cry out, But oh! but oh!this epitaph. Meaning, a hot, mad-brain'd, unbroken young fellow; or sometimes an old fellow The l'enton, which is a term borrowed 3 Welkin is the sky. i. e. a head. with juvenile desires. from the old French poetry, appeared always at the head of a few concluding verses to each piece, and either served to convey the moral, or to address the poem to some particular person. bargain here means to lead a person to say something, which being applied to himself makes him ap The head was anciently called the pear ridiculous, so Armado is supposed to call himself a goose. costard, as observed above.-A costard likewise signified a crab-stick.
• To sell a
I, Costard, running out, that was safely within,
Cost. I will come to your worship to-morrow morning.
Biron. It must be done this afternoon. Hark, slave, it is but this:
The princess comes to hunt here in the park,
A very beadle to a humorous sigh;
Of trotting paritors',-O my little heart!—
And wear his colours like a tumbler's hoop!
But being watch'd that it may still go right?
Arm. We will talk no more of this matter.
Arm. By my sweet soul, I mean, setting thee at liberty, enfreedoming thy person; thou wert immur'd, restrained, captivated, bound.
Cost. True, true; and now you will be my purgation, and let me loose.
Arm. I give thee thy liberty, set thee from durance; and, in lieu thereof, impose on thee nothing but this: Bear this significant to the country maid Jaquenetta: there is remuneration; [Giving him money.] for the best ward of mine honour, is, rewarding my dependants. Moth, follow. [Exit. Moth. Like the sequel, I. Signior Costard,
Cost. My sweet ounce of man's flesh! my incony' Jew!
Now will I look to his remuneration. Remuneration! O, that's the Latin word for three farthings: three farthings-remuneration.—What's 25 the price of this inkle? a penny:--No, I'll give you a remuneration: why, it carries it.-Remuneration!-why, it is a fairer name than French crown. I will never buy and sell out of this word.
Biron. O, my good knave, Costard! exceedingly well met.
Cost. Pray you, sir, how much carnation ribbon may a man buy for a remuneration?
Biron. What is a remuneration?
Cost. Marry, sir, half-penny farthing. Biron. O, why then, three-farthing-worth of silk.
Cost. I thank your worship: God be with you. 40 With two pitch-balls stuck in her face for eyes;
Biron. O, stay, slave; I must employ thee:
Ay, and by heaven, one that will do the deed,
Cost. When would you have it done, sir?
Cost. Well, I will do it, sir: Fare you well.
Of his almighty dreadful little might. [groan:
1 Incony, or kony, in the north, signifies fine, delicatee-as a kony thing, a fine thing. i. e. re
ward. 3 i. e. with the utmost nicety. apparitor, or paritor, is an officer of other matters cognizable in his court. posite arm.
The wimple was a hood or veil which fell over the face. An the bishop's court, who carries out citations for fornication and That is, hanging on one shoulder, and falling under the op
Against the steep uprising of the hill?
Boyet. I know not; but, I think, it was not he. Prin. Whoe'er he was, he shew'd a mounting mind.
Well, lords, to-day we shall have our dispatch;
For.Here by, upon the edge of yonder coppice;
For. Pardon me, madam, for I meant not so.
O short-liv'd pride! Not fair? alack for woe!
Cost. Which is the greatest lady, the highest?
Only for praise' sake, when they strive to be
Prin. What's your will, sir? what's your will? Cost. I have a letter from monsieur Biron, to one lady Rosaline.
Prin. O, thy letter, thy letter; he's a good friend of mine:
Stand aside, good bearer.-Boyet, you can carve;
Boyet. I am bound to serve.
[ear. Prin. We will read it, I swear: Break the neck of the wax, and every one give Boyet. [Reads.]"By heaven,that thou art fair,is "most infallible; true, that thou art beauteous; "truth itself, that thou art lovely: More fairer "than fair, beautiful than beauteous, truer than 25" truth itself, have commiseration on thy heroical "vassal! The magnanimous and most illustrate2
king Cophetua set eye upon the pernicious and "indubitate beggar Zenelephon; and he it was
that might rightly say, veni, vidi, vici; which "to anatomize in the vulgar, (O base and obscure "vulgar) videlicet, he came, saw, and overcame : "He came, one; saw, two; overcame, three. "Who came? the king; Why did he come? to "see; Why did he see? to overcome; To whom
came he? to the beggar; What saw he? the beggar; Whom overcame he? the beggar: The "conclusion is victory: On whose side? the king's: "the captive is enrich'd; On whose side? the beggar's: The catastrophe is a nuptial; On [part, 40" whose side? the king's?-no; on both in one, "or one in both. I am the king; for so stands "the comparison: thou the beggar; for so wit"nesseth thy lowliness. Shall I command thy love? I may: Shall I enforce thy love? I could: Shall I entreat thy love? I will. What shalt thou "exchange for rags? robes; For tittles? titles;
For thyself? me. Thus, expecting thy reply,
And he from forage will incline to play:
This letter is mistook, it importeth none here;
Prin. Nay, never paint me now;
Prin. Only for praise: and praise we may afTo any lady that subdues a lord.
Prin. Here comes a member of the common-
Cost. God dig-you-den all! Pray you, which is the head lady?
Prin. Thou shalt know her, fellow, by the rest that have no heads.
That is, Open this letter. Our poet uses this metaphor, as the French do their poulet, which signities both a young fowl and a love-letter. Illustrate for illustrious.
Prin. What plume of feathers is he, that indited this letter? [hear better? What vane? what weather-cock? Did you ever Boyet. I am much deceived, but I remember the stile. [ere while 5 Prin. Else your memory is bad, going o'er 'it Boyet. This Armado is a Spaniard, that keeps here in court; [sport A phantasm, a Monarcho, and one that makes To the prince, and his book-mates.
Prin. Thou, fellow, a word:
Cost. I told you, my lord.
Boyet. But she herself is hit lower: Have I hit her now?
Boyet. An if my hand be out, then, belike,
Cost. She's too hard for you at pricks, sir;-
Boyet. I fear too much rubbing: Good night, my good owl. [Exeunt all but Costard. Cost. By my soul, a swain! a most simple clown! Lord, lord! how the ladies and I have put him down! [gar wit! 150' my troth, most sweet jests! most incony vulWhen it comes so smoothly off, so obscenely, as it were so fit.
Armatho o' the one side,-O, a most dainty man! To see him walk before a lady, and to bear her fan! 20 To see him kiss his hand! and how most sweetly a' will swear!-
Ros. Well then, I am the shooter.
[near. Ros. If we chuse by horns, yourself; come not Finely put on, indeed!—
Mur. You still wrangle with her, Boyet, and 35 she strikes at the brow.
And his page o' t'other side, that handful of wit!
[Shouting within. [Exit Costard. SCENE II.
Enter Dull, Holofernes', and Sir Nathaniel. Nath. Very reverend sport, truly; and done 30 in the testimony of a good conscience.
Hol. The deer was, as you know, sanguis, in blood, ripe as a pomewater, who now hangeth like a jewel in the ear of Colo,-the sky, the welkin, the heaven; and anon falleth like a crab, on the face of Terra,-the soil, the land, the earth.
Cost. Indeed, a' must shoot nearer, or he 'll ne'er hit the clout*.
Ros. Shall I come upon thee with an old saying, that was a man when King Pepin of France was a 40| little boy, as touching the hit it?
Boyet. So I may answer thee with one as old, that was a woman when queen Guinever of Britain was a little wench, as touching the hit it. Ros. Thou canst not hit it, hit it, hit it, [Singing.45 Thou canst not hit it, my good man. Boyet. An I cannot, cannot, cannot,
An I cannot, another can. [Ex. Ros. & Kat. Cost. By my troth, most pleasant' how both did fit it!
Mar. A mark marvellous well shot; for they both did hit it. Boyet. A mark! O, mark but that mark; A| mark, says my lady! [may be. Let the mark have a prick in't, to mete at, if it 55 Mar. Wide o' the bow hand! P' faith, your
hand is out.
Nath. Truly, master Holofernes, the epithets are sweetly varied, like a scholar at the least: But, sir, I assure ye, it was a buck of the first head. Hol. Sir Nathaniel, haud credo.
Dull. 'Twas not a haud credo, 'twas a pricket. Hol. Most barbarous intimation! yet a kind of insinuation, as it were, in via, in way, of explication; facere, as it were, replication; or, rather ostentare, to shew, as it were, his inclination-after his undressed, unpolished, uneducated, unpruned, untrained, or rather unletter'd, or ratherest, unconfirmed fashion,—to insert again my haud credo for a deer.
Dull. I said, the deer was not a haud credo; 50 'twas a pricket'.
Hol. Twice sod simplicity, bis coctus !— thou monster ignorance, how deformed dost thou look!
Nath. Sir, he hath never fed on the dainties that are bred in a book; he hath not eat paper, as it were; he hath not drunk ink: his intellect is not replenished; he is only an animal, only sensible in the duller parts:
A pun upon the word stile. 2 i. e. a little while ago. 3 Shooter here means suitor. i. e. the white mark at which archers took their aim. The pin was the wooden nail which upheld it. ' Dr. Warburton says, that by Holofernes was designed a particular character, a pedant and a schoolmaster of our author's time, one John Florio, a teacher of the Italian tongue in London. A species of apple. A buck is the first year, a fawn; the second year, a pricket; the third year, a sorell; the fourth year, a soure; the fifth year, a buck of the first head; the sixth year, a compleat buck.
And such barren plants are set before us, that we thankful should be
(Which we of taste and feeling are) for those parts
the gift is good in those in whom it is acute, and I am thankful for it.
Dull. You two are book-men; Can you tell
What was a month old at Cain's birth, that's not
Dull. What is Dictynna?
Dull. 'Tis true, indeed; the collusion holds in the exchange.
Hol. God comfort thy capacity! I say the al-25 lusion holds in the exchange.
Dull. And I say the pollusion holds in the exchange; for the moon is never but a month old: and i say beside, that 'twas a pricket that the princess kill'd.
Hol. Sir Nathaniel, will you hear an extemporal epitaph on the death of the deer? and, to humour the ignorant, I have call'd the deer the princess kill'd, a pricket.
Nath. Sir, I praise the Lord for you; and so may my parishioners; for their sons are well tutor❜d by you, and their daughters profit very greatly under you: you are a good member of the commonwealth.
Hol. Mehercle, if their sons be ingenious, they shall want no instruction: if their daughters be 10capable, I will put it to them: But, vir sapit, qui pauca loquitur: a soul teminine saluteth us. Enter Jaquenetta, and Costard.
Jaq. God give you good-morrow, master par
Hol. Master parson,-quasi person. And if one should be pierc'd, which is the one?
Cost. Marry, master school-master, he that is likest to a hogshead.
Hol. Of piercing a hogshead! a good lustre of conceit in a turf of earth; fire enough for a flint, pearl enough for a swine: 'tis pretty; it is well. Jaq. Good master parson, be so good as read me this letter: it was given me by Costard, and sent me from Don Armatho: I beseech you, read it. Hol. Fauste, precor gelida quando pecus omne sub umbra
Ruminat,—and so forth. Ah, good old Mantuan'!
Hol. Let me hear a staff, a stanza, a verse;
Nath. Perge, good master Holofernes, perge; 35 so it shall please you to abrogate scurrility.
Hol. I will something affect the letter; for it argues facility. The praiseful princess pierc'd and prick'd a pretty pleasing pricket ;
Some say, a soure; but not a sore, 'till now made sore with shooting: [from thicket; The dogs did yell; put L to sore, then sorel jumps Or pricket, sore, or else sorel, the people fall a hooting. [O sore L If sore be sore, then L to sore makes fifty sores; Of one sore I an hundred make, by adding but Nath. A rare talent. [one more L. Dull. If a talent be a claw, look how he claws him with a talent.
Hol. This is a gift that I have, simple, simple ; a foolish extravagant spirit, full of forms, figures, shapes, objects, ideas, apprehensions, motions, revolutions: these are begot in the ventricle of memory, nourished in the womb of pia mater, and 55 delivered upon the mellowing of occasion: But
Nath." If love make me forsworn, how shall I
Study his bias leaves, and makes his book thine [comprehend: "Where all those pleasures live, that art would "If knowledge be the mark, to know thee shall "suffice; [commend: Well learned is that tongue, that well can thee "All ignorant that soul, that sees thee without wonder; [admire) ("Which is to me some praise, that I thy parts Thy eye Jove's lightning bears, thy voice his dreadful thunder, [sweet fire. "Which, not to anger bent, is musick, and
1 Patch here means a silly, foolish, fellow. The term is supposed to have been adopted from a celebrated fool named Patch, and who wearing, perhaps in allusion to his name, a party-colour'd dress, all stage fools have ever since been distinguish'd by a motley coat. i, e. reached not.3i. e. the riddle is as good when I use the name of Adam, as when you use the name of Cain. Alluding to L being the numeral for 50. Baptista Spagnolus (surnamed Mantuanus, from the place of his birth) was a writer of poems, who flourished towards the latter end of the 15th century. His Eclogues were translated before the time of Shakspeare. That is, "O Venice, Venice, he who has ne ver seen thee, has thee not in esteem."