Bene. Doyon question me, as an honest man should to trust none; and the fine is, (for the which I may go do, for my simple true judgment; or would you have me speak after my custom, as being a professed tyrant to their sex? Claud. No, I pray thee, speak in sober judgment. Bene. Why, i'faith, methinks she is too low for a high praise, too brown for a fair praise, and too little for a great praise. Only this commendation I can afford her, that, were she other than she is, she were unhandsome; and being no other butas she is, I do not like her. Claud. Thou thinkest, I am in sport; I pray thee, tell me truly how thou likest her. Bene. Would you buy her, that you inquire after her? Claud. Can the world buy such a jewel? Bene. Yea, and a case to put it into. But speak you this with a sad brow? or do you play the flouting Jack, to tell us, Cupid is a good hare-finder, and Vulcan a rare carpenter? Come, in what key shall a man take you, to go in the song? Claud. In mine eye, she is the sweetest lady that ever Ilooked on. Bene. I can see yet without spectacles, and I see no such matter. There's her cousin, an she were not possessed with a fury, exceeds her as much in beauty, as the first of May doth the last of December. But I hope, you have no intent to turn husband; have you? Claud.I would scarce trust myself, though I had sworn the contrary, if Hero would be my wife. Bene. Is it come to this, i'faith? Hath not the world one man, but he will wear his cap with suspicion? Shall I never see a bachelor of threescore again? Go to, i'faith; an thou wilt needs thrust thy neck into a yoke, wear the print of it, and sigh away Sundays. Look, Don Pedro is returned to seek you. Re-enter Don PEDRO. D. Pedro. What secret hath held you here, that you followed not to Leonato's? Bene. I would, your grace would constrain me to tell. D. Pedro. Icharge thee on thy allegiance. Bene. You hear, count Claudio: I can be secret as a dumb man, I would have you think so; but on my allegiance,-mark you this, on my allegiance: - He is in love. With who?-now that is your grace's part. Mark, how short his answer is:-With Hero, Leonato's Hero.Le short daughter. Claud. If this were so, so were it uttered. Bene. Like the old tale, my lord: it is not so, nor 'twas not so; but, indeed, God forbid it should be so! Claud. If my passion change not shortly, God forbid it should be otherwise. the finer,) I will live a bachelor. D. Pedro.I shall see thee, ere I die, look pale with love. Bene. With anger, with sickness, or with hunger, my lord; not with love: prove, that ever I lose more blood with love, than I will get again with drinking, pick out mine eyes witha ballad-maker's pen, and hang me up at the door of a brothel-house, for the sign of blindCupid. D. Pedro. Well, if ever thou dost fall from this faith, thou wilt prove a notable argument. Bene. If I do, hang me in a bottle like a cat, and shoot at me; and he that hits me, let him be clapped on the shoulder, and called Adam. D. Pedro. Well, as time shall try: In time the savage bull doth bear the yoke. Bene. The savage bull may; but if ever the sensible Benedick bear it, pluck off the bull's horns, and set them in my forehead: and let me be vilely painted; and in such great letters as they write, Here is good horse to hire, let them signify under my sign, Here you may see Benedick the married man. Claud. If this should ever happen, thou would'st be horn-mad. D. Pedro. Nay, if Cupid have not spent all his quiver in Venice, thou wilt quake for this shortly. Bene. Ilook for an earthquake too then. D. Pedro. Well, you will temporize with the hours. In the mean time, good signior Benedick, repair to Leonato's; commend me to him, and tell him, I will not fail him at supper; for, indeed, he hath made great preparation. Bene. I have almost matter enough in me for such an embassage; and so I commit you Claud. To the tuition of God; from my house, (if I had it) D. Pedro. The sixth of July: your loving friend, Benedick. Bene. Nay, mock not, mock not! The body of your discourse is sometime guarded with fragments, and the guards are but slightly basted on neither: ere you flout old ends any further, examine your conscience; and so I leave you. [Exit Benedick. Claud. My liege, your highness now may do me good. D. Pedro. My love is thine to teach; teach it but how, And thou shalt see, how apt it is to learn Any hard lesson that may do thee good. Claud. Hath Leonato any son, my lord? D. Pedro. No child but Hero, she's his only heir : Dost thou affect her, Claudio? Claud. O, my lord, When you went onward on this ended action, D. Pedro. Amen, if you love her; for the lady is very well worthy. I look'd upon her with a soldier's eye, Claud. You speak this to fetch mein, my lord. D. Pedro. By my troth, I speak my thought. That lik'd, but had a rougher task in hand Claud. And, in faith, my lord, I spoke mine. Have left their places vacant, in their rooms Bene. And, by my two faiths and troths, mylord, I Come thronging soft and delicate desires, spoke mine. Claud. That I love her, I feel. All prompting me, how fair young Hero is, Saying, I lik'd her, ere I went to wars. D. Pedro. Thou wilt be like a lover presently, And tire the hearer with a book of words: If thou dost love fair Hero, cherish it; D. Pedro. That she is worthy, I know. Bene. That I neither feel, how she should be loved, nor know, how she should be worthy, is the opinion that fire cannot melt out of me; I will die in it at the stake. D. Pedro. Thou wast ever an obstinate heretic in the despite of beauty. Claud. And never could maintain his part, but in the force ofhis will. Bene. That a woman conceived me, I thank her; that And I will break with her, and with her father, And thou shalt have her. Was't not to this end, That thou began'st to twist so fine a story? Claud. How sweetly do you minister to love, That know love's grief by his complexion! But lest my liking might too sudden seem, she brought me up, I likewise give her most humble I would have salv'd it with a longer treatise. thanks: but that I will have a recheat winded in my D. Pedro. What need the bridge much broader than forehead, or hang my bugle in an invisible baldrick, all the flood? women shall pardon me. Because I will not do them The fairest grant is the necessity: the wrong to mistrust any, I will do myself the right Look, what will serve, is fit: 'tis once, thou lov'st; 13 Leon. Are they good? time, let me be that I am, and seek not to alter me. Ant. As the event stamps them; but they have a good cover, they show well outward. The prince and count Claudio, walking in a thick-pleached alley in my orchard, were thus much overheard by a man of mine: the prince discovered to Claudio, that he loved my niece, your daugther, and meant to acknowledge it this night in a dance; and if he found her accordant, he meant to take the present time by the top, and instantly break with you of it. Leon. Hath the fellow any wit, that told you this? Ant. A good sharp fellow: I will send for him, and question him yourself. I Enter BORACHIO. Bora. I came yonder from a great supper; the prince, Leon. No, no; we will hold it as a dream, till it ap- SCENE III. - Another room in Leonato's house. Con. What the goujere, mylord! why are you thus Bora. Marry, it is your brother's right hand. D. John. A proper squire! And who, and who? which way looks he? D. John. There is no measure in the occasion that breeds it, therefore the sadness is without limit. Con. You should hear reason. Bora. Marry, on Hero, the daugther and heir of D. John. And, when I have heard it, what blessing bringeth it? D. John. A very forward March-chick! How came Bora. Being entertained for a perfumer, as I was smok- D. John. Come, come, let us thither; this may prove Con. If not a present remedy, yet a patient sufferance. D. John. I wonder, that thou, being (as thou say'st thou art)born under Saturn, goest about to apply a moral medicine to a mortifying mischief. I cannot hide what I am: I must be sad, when I have cause, and smile at no man's jests; eat, when I have stomach, and wait for no man's leisure; sleep, when I am drowsy, and tend to no man's business; laugh, when I am merry, and claw no man in his humour. Con. To the death, my lord. Con. Yea, but you must not make the full show of this, till you may do it without controlment. You have of late stood out against your brother, and he hath ta'en you newly into his grace; where it is impossible you should take true root, but by the fair weather that you make yourself: it is needful that you frame the season for your own harvest. ACT II. SCENE I.- A hall in Leonato's house. Beat. How tartly that gentleman looks! I never can Beat. With a good leg, and a good foot, uncle, and horns. Beat. Just, if he send me no husband; for the which blessing I am at him upon my knees every morning and evening; Lord! I could not endurea husband with a beard on his face; I had rather lie in the woollen. Leon. You may light upon a husband that hath no beard. D. John. I had rather be a canker in a hedge, than a rose in his grace; and it better fits my blood to be disdain'd of all, than to fashion a carriage to rob love fromany. In this, though I cannot be said to be a flattering honest man, it must not be denied, that I am a plain-dealing villain. I am trusted with a muzzle, and enfranchised with a clog; therefore I have decreed not to sing in my cage: If I had my mouth, I would bite; if apparel, and make him my waiting gentlewoman? He, I had my liberty, I would do my liking: in the mean that hath a beard, is more than a youth; and he, that Beat. What should I do with him? dress him in my hath no beard, is less than a man: and he, that is more than a youth, is not for me; and he, that is less than a man, I am not for him. Therefore I will even take sixpence in earnest of the bear-herd, and lead his apes into hell. Leon. Well then, go you into hell! Beat. No; but to the gate; and there will the devil meet me, like an old cuckold, with horns on his head, and say, Get you to heaven, Beatrice, get you to heaven; here's no place for you maids! So deliver I up myapes, and away to Saint Peter for the heavens: he shows me where the bachelors sit, and there live we as merry as the day is long. Ant. Well, niece, [To Hero.] I trust you will be ruled by your father. Beat. Yes, faith; 'tis my cousin's duty to make courtesy, and say, Father, as it please you:-but yet for all that, cousin, let him be a handsome fellow, or else make another courtesy, and say, Father, asit please me. Leon. Well, niece, I hope to see you one day fitted with a husband. Beat. Not till God make men of some other metal than earth. Would it not grievea woman to be overmastered with a piece of valiant dust? to make an account of her life to a clod of wayward marl? No, uncle, I'll none: Adam's sons are my brethren; and truly, I hold it a sin to match in my kindred. Leon. Daughter, remember what I told you: if the prince do solicit you in that kind, you know your answer. Ant. Ataword, I am not. Urs. Come, come; do you think I do not know you by Beat. Nor will you not tell me, who you are? Beat. That I was disdainful, and that I had my good Bene. What's he? Beat. I am sure, you know him well enough. Beat. Did he never make you laugh? Bene. I pray you, what is he? Beat. Why, he is the prince's jester: a very dull fool; only his gift is in devising impossible slanders: none but libertines delight in him; and the commendation is not in his wit, but in his villainy; for he both pleaseth men and angers them, and then they laugh at him, and beat him: I am sure he is in the fleet; I would he had boarded me. Bene. When I know the gentleman, I'll tell him what you say. Beat. The fault will be in the music, cousin, if you be not woo'd in good time: if the prince be too important, tell him, there is measure in every thing, and so dance out the answer. For hear me, Hero; wooing, wedding, and repenting, is as a Scotch jig, a measure, and a cinque-pace: the first suit is hot and hasty, like a Beat. Do, do: he'll but break a comparison or two Scotch jig, and full as fantastical; the wedding, man- on me; which, peradventure, not marked, or not laughnerly-modest, as a measure full of state and ancien-ed at, strikes him into melancholy; and then there's try; and then comes repentance, and, with his bad a partridge's wing saved, for the fool will eat no supper legs, falls into the cinque-pace faster and faster, till he that night. [Music within.] We must follow the lead sink into his grave. Leon. Cousin, you apprehend passing shrewdly. Beat. I have a good eye, uncle; I can see a church by day-light. Leon. The revellers are entering; brother, make good room! Enter Don PEDRO, CLAUDIO, BENEDICK, BALTHAZAR; masked. D. Pedro. Lady, will you walk about with your friend? D. Pedro. With me in your company? D. Pedro. And when please you to say so? Hero. When I like your favour; for God defend, the lute should be like the case! D. Pedro. My visor is Philemon's roof; within the Hero. Why, then your visor should be thatch'd. ers. Bene. In every good thing. Borachio, and Claudio. D. John. Sure, my brother is amorous on Hero, and hath withdrawn her father to break with him about it: the ladies follow her, and but one visor remains. Bora. And that is Claudio: I know him by his bearing. D. John. Are not you signior Benedick? Claud. You know me well; I am he. D. John. Signior, you are very near my brother in his love: he is enamoured on Hero; I pray you, dissuade him from her, she is no equal for his birth: you may do the part of an honest man in it. Claud. Howknow you he loves her? D. John. I heard him swear his affection. Bora. So did I too; and he swore he would marry her to-night. D. John. Come, let us to the banquet! [Exeunt Don John and Borachio. Claud. Thus answer I in name of Benedick, [Takes her aside. 'Tis certain so; --the prince wooes for himself. Bene. Well, I would you did like me. Marg. So would not I, for your own sake; for I have Friendship is constant in all other things, many ill qualities. Bene. Which is one? Therefore, all hearts in love use their own tongues; Marg. I say my prayers aloud. And trust no agent: for beauty is a witch, Bene. Ilove you the better; the hearers may cry, Against whose charms faith melteth into blood. Marg. And God keep him out of my sight, when the Bene. Count Claudio? dance is done!-Answer, clerk! Claud. Yea, the same. Bene. Come, will you go with me? Bene. Even to the next willow, about your own busi- Claud. I wish him joy of her. Bene. Why, that's spoken like an honest drover; so they sell bullocks. But did you think the prince would have served you thus? Claud. I pray you, leave me! Bene. Ho! now you strike like the blind man; 'twas the boy that stole your meat, and you'll beat the post. Claud. If it will not be, I'll leave you. [Exit. Bene. Alas, poor hurt fowl! Now will he creep into sedges.--But,that my lady Beatrice should know me, and not know me! The prince's fool!---Ha! it may be, I go under that title, because I am merry.-Yea; but so; I am apt to do myself wrong: I am not so reputed: it is the base, the bitter disposition of Beatrice, that puts the world into her person, and so gives me out. Well, I'll be revenged as I may! Re-enter Don PEDRO, HERO, and LEONATO. D. Pedro. Now, signior, where's the count? Did you see him? Bene. Troth, my lord, I have played the part of lady Fame. I found him here as melancholy, as a lodge in a warren; I told him, and, I think, I told him true, that your grace had got the good will of this young lady; and I offered him my company to a willow tree, either to make him a garland, as being forsaken, or to bind himuparod, as being worthy to be whipped. D. Pedro. To be whipped! What's his fault? Bene. The flat transgression of a school-boy; who, being overjoy'd with finding a bird's nest, shows it his companion, and he steals it. D. Pedro. Wilt thou make atrust a transgression? The transgression is in the stealer. D. Pedro. None, but to desire your good company. [Exit. D. Pedro. Come, lady, come; you have lost the Bene. Yet it had not been amiss, the rod had been made, and the garland too; for the garland he might have worn himself; and the rod he might have bestow'd on you, who, as I take it, have stolen his bird's nest. D. Pedro. I will but teach them to sing, and restore them to the owner. Beat. Indeed, my lord, he lent it me a while; and I Bene. If their singing answer your saying, by my faith, you say honestly. Beat. So I would not he should do me, my lord, lest D. Pedro. The lady Beatrice hath a quarrel to you; the gentleman, that danced with her, told her, she is much wronged by you. D. Pedro. Why, how now, count? wherefore are you sad? D. Pedro. How then? Sick? D. Pedro. I'faith, lady, I think your blazon to be Bene. O, she misused me past the endurance of a block; an oak, but with one green leaf on it, would have answered her; my very visor began to assume life, and scold with her. She told me, not thinking I had been myself, that I was the prince'sjester; that I was duller than a great thaw; huddling jest upon jest, with such impossible conveyance, upon me, that I stood like a man at a mark, with a whole army shooting at me. She speaks poniards, and every word stabs: if her breath were as terrible as her terminations, there were no living near her, she would infect to the north star. I would not marry her, though she were endowed with all that Adam had left him before he transgressed: she would have made Hercules have turned spit; yea, and have cleft his club to make the fire too. Come, talk not of her; you shall find her the infernal Até in good apparel. I would to God, some scholar would conjure her; for, certainly, while she is here, a man may live as quiet in hell, as in a sanctuary; and people sin upon purpose, because they would go thither; so, indeed, all disquiet, horror, and perturbation follow her. Leon. Count, take of me my daughter, and with her Beat. Speak, count, 'tis your cue! Beat. Speak, cousin; or, if you cannot, stop his mouth D. Pedro. In faith, lady, you have a merry heart. Beat. Yea, my lord; 1; I thank it, poor fool, it keeps on the windy side of care. My cousin tells him in his ear, that he is in her heart. Claud. And so she doth, cousin. Beat. Good lord, for alliance! -Thus goes every one Beat. No, sure, my lord, my mother cry'd; but then there was a star danced, and under that was I born.Cousins, God give you joy! Leon. Niece, will you look to those things I told you of? Beat. I cry you mercy, uncle.-By your grace's par- pardon. [Exit Beatrice. D. Pedro. By my troth, a pleasant-spirited lady! Leon. There's little of the melancholy element in her, my lord: she is never sad, but when she sleeps; and not ever sad then; for I have heard my daughter say, she hath often dreamed of unhappiness, and waked herself withlaughing. D.Pedro.She cannot endure to hear tell of a husband. Leon. O, by no means; she mocks all her wooers out of suit. D. Pedro. She were an excellent wife for Benedick. Leon. O Lord! my lord, if they were but a week married, they would talk themselves mad. D. Pedro. Count Claudio, when mean you to go to church? Claud. To-morrow, my lord. Time goes on crutches, till love have all his rites. Leon. Not till Monday, my dear son, which is hence ajust seven-night; and a time too brief too, to have all things answer my mind. D. Pedro. Come, you shake the head at so long a breathing; but, I warrant thee, Claudio, the time shall not go dully by us; I will, in the interim, undertake one of Hercules' labours; which is, to bring signior Benedick and the lady Beatrice into a mountain of affection, the one with the other. I would fain have it a match; and I doubt not but to fashion it, if you three will but minister such assistance, as I shall give you direction. Leon. Mylord, I am for you, though it cost me ten nights' watchings. Claud. And I, my lord. D. Pedro. And you too, gentle Hero? D. Pedro. And Benedick is not the unhopefullest SCENE II.-Another room in Leonato's house. Bora. Proof enough to misuse the prince, to vex Claudio, to undo Hero, and kill Leonato. Look you for any other issue? D. John. Only to despite them, I will endeavour any thing. Bora. Gothen, find me a meet hour to draw Don Pedro and the count Claudio, alone: tell them, that you know, that Hero lovesme; intend a kind of zeal both to the prince and Claudio, as in love of your brother's honour, who hath made this match, and his friend's reputation, who is thus like to be cozened with the semblance of a maid, that you have discovered thus. They will scarcely believe this without trial: offer them instances; which shall bear no less likelihood, than to see me at her chamber-window, hear me call Margaret Hero; hear Margaret term me Borachio; and bring them to see this, the very night before the intended wedding: for, in the mean time, I will so fashion the matter, that Hero shall be absent; and there shall appear such seeming truth of Hero's disloyalty, that jealousy shall be call'd assurance, and all the preparation overthrown. D. John. Grow this to what adverse issue it can, I will put it in practice. actice. Be cunning in the working this, and thy fee is a thousand ducats. Bora. Be you constant in the accusation, and my cun- D. John. I will presently go learn their day of mar- SCENE III.-Leonato's garden. Bene. Boy, Boy. Signior. [Exeunt. Bene. In my chamber-window lies a book; bring it Boy. I am here already, sir. D. John. It is so; the count Claudio shall marry the speak plain, and to the purpose, like an honest man, daughter of Leonato. Bora. Yea, mylord; but I can cross it. D. John. Any bar, any cross, any impediment will be medicinable to me: I am sick in displeasure to him; and whatsoever comes athwart his affection, ranges evenly with mine. How canst thou cross this marriage? Bora. Nothonestly, my lord; but so covertly, that no dishonesty shall appear in me. D. John. Show me briefly, how! Bora. I think, I told your lordship, a year since, how much I am in the favour of Margaret, the waitinggentlewoman to Hero. D. John. I remember. Bora. I can, at any unseasonable instant of the night, appoint her to look out at her lady's chamber-window. D. John. What life is in that to be the death of this marriage? Bora. The poison of that lies in you to temper. Go you to the prince, your brother; spare not to tell him, that he hath wronged his honour in marrying the renowned Claudio (whose estimation do you mightily hold up) to a contaminated stale, such a one, as Hero. D. John. What proof shall I make of that? and a soldier; and now is he turn'd orthographer; his Enter Don PEDRO, LEONATO, and CLAUDIO. D. Pedro. See you where Benedick hath hid himself? 1 |