After the General, I befeech you next Achil. I fhall foreftall thee, lord Úly sses ;———thou! Now, Hector, I have fed mine eyes on thee; I have with exact view perus'd thee, Hector, And quoted joint by joint. Achil. I am Achilles. Het. Stand fair, I pr'ythee, let me look on thee. Achil. Behold thy fill. Heat. Nay, I have done already. Achil. Thou art too brief. I will the second time, As I would buy thee, view thee, limb by limb. Hect. O, like a book of sport thou'lt read me o'er: But there's more in me, than thou understand'st. Why doft thou fo opprefs me with thine eye? Achil. Tell me, you heav'ns, in which part of his body Shall I deftroy him? whether there, or there, Achil. I tell thee, yea. Het. Wert thou the Oracle to tell me so, I'd not believe thee: henceforth guard thee well, For I'll not kill thee there, nor there, nor there; But, by the forge that ftmythied Mars his helm, I'll kill thee every where, yea, o'er and o'er.You wifeft Grecians, pardon me this brag, His infolence draws folly from my lips; But I'll endeavour deeds to match these words, Or may I never Ajax. Do not chafe thee, coufin; E 5 And And you, Achilles, let thefe threats alone, Achil. Doft thou intreat me, Hector? To-morrow do I meet thee, fell as death; Het. Thy hand upon that match. Aga. First, all you Peers of Greece, go to my Tent, There in the full convive you; afterwards, As Hector's leifure and your bounties fhall To tafle your bounties: let the trumpets blow; Manent Troilus and Ulyffes. [Exeunt. Troi. M In what place of the field doth Calchas Y lord Ulyffes, tell me, I befeech you, keep? Ulyff. At Menelaus' Tent, moft princely Troilus; But gives all gaze and bent of am'rous view On the fair Creffid. Troi. Shall I, fweet lord, be bound to thee fo much, After you part from Agamemnon's Tent, To bring me thither? Ulyff. You fhall command me, Sir: As gently tell me, of what honour was This Creffida in Troy; had the no lover there, Troi. O Sir, to fuch as boafting fhew their fears, A mock is due. Will you walk on, my lord? She was belov'd, fhe lov'd; fhe is, and doth : But, ftill, fweet love is food for fortune's tooth. [Exeunt. ACT V. SCENE I. Before Achilles's Tent, in the Grecian Camp. Enter Achilles and Patroclus. ACHILLE S. 'LL heat his blood with Greekish wine to-night, Patroclus, let us feaft him to the height. Enter Therfites. Achil. How now, thou core of envy ? Ther. Why, thou full dish of fool, from Troy. Ther. The furgeon's box, or the patient's wound. Pat. Well faid, adverfity; and what need these tricks? Ther. Pr'ythee, be filent, boy, I profit not by thy talk; thou art thought to be Achilles's male-varlet. Pat. Male-varlet, you rogue? what's that? Ther. Why, his mafculine whore. Now the rotten. diseases of the south, guts-griping, ruptures, catarrhs, loads o' gravel i'th' back, lethargies, cold palfies, raw E 6 eyes, eyes, dirt-rotten livers, wheezing lungs, bladders full of impofthume, fciatica's, lime-kilns i'th' palm, incurable bone-ach, and the rivell'd fee-fimple of the tetter, take and take again fuch prepofterous dif coveries. Pat. Why, thou damnable box of envy, thou, what meaneft thou to curse thus? Ther. Do I curfe thee? Pat. Why, no, you ruinous butt, you whorefon indiftinguishable cur. Ther. No? why art thou then exafperate, thou idle immaterial fkein of fley'd filk. thou green farcenet flap for a fore eye, thou taffel of a prodigal's purse, thou? Ah, how the poor world is pefter'd with such water-flies, diminutives of Nature. Pat. Out, gall! Ther. Finch-egg! Achil. My fweet Patroclus, I am thwarted quite A token from her daughter, my fair love, An oath that I have fworn. I will not break it; [Exeunt. Ther. With too much blood, and too little brain, these two may run mad: but if with too much brain, and too little blood, they do, I'll be a curer of madmen. Here's Agamemnon, an honeft fellow enough, and one that loves quails, but he hath not fo much brain as ear-wax; and the goodly transformation of Jupiter there, his brother, the bull, the primitive ftatue, The primitive ftatue, and oblique memorial of cuckolds;] He calls Menelaus the Transformation of Jupiter, that is, as himfelf explains it, the ftatue, and obelisque memorial of cuckolds; a thrifty fhoeing-horn in a chain, hanging at his brother's leg; to what form, but that he is, fhould wit larded with malice, and malice forced with wit, turn him? to an ass were nothing, he is both ass and ox; to an ox were nothing, he is both ox and afs; to be a dog, a mule, a cat, a fitchew, a toad, a lizard, an owl, a puttock, or a herring without a roe, I would not care: but to be Menelaus, I would conspire against Diftiny. Ask me not what I would be, if I were not Therfites; for I care not, to be the loufe of a lazar, fo I were not Menelaus Hey-day, spirits and fires! SCENE II. Enter Hector, Troilus, Ajax, Agamemnon, Ulyffes, Neftor, and Diomede, with lights. E go wrong, we go wrong. Aga. W Ajax. No, yonder 'tis; there, where we fee the light. Heat. I trouble you. Ajax. No, not a whit. Enter Achilles. Ulyff. Here comes himself to guide you. Achil. Welcome, brave Hector; welcome, Princes all. Aga. So, now fair Prince of Troy, I bid good night. Ajax commands the Guard to tend on you. Het. Thanks, and good-night, to the Greeks' General. the Bull, on account of his Horns, which he had as a Cuckold. This Cuckold he calls the primitive Statue of Cuckolds; Therefore we fhould read, and obelifque Memorial of Cuckolds. He is reprefented as one who would remain an eternal Monument of his Wife's Infidelity. And how could this be better done than by calling him. an Obelifque Memorial? of all human Edifices the most durable. Warb. Men. |