conscience, and in a more liberal way still to indulge my talents for fiction and embellishment, through my favorite channels of diurnal communication;—and so, sir, you have my history.

Sneer. Most obligingly communicative, indeed; and your confession, if published, might certainly serve the cause of true charity, by rescuing the most useful channels of appeal to benevolence from the cant of imposition. But surely, Mr. Puff, there is no great mystery in your present profession?

Puff. Mystery! Sir, I will take upon me to say the matter was never scientifically treated, nor reduced to rule before.

Sneer. Reduced to rule?

Puff. O lud, sir! you are very ignorant, I am afraid. Yes, sir, puffing is of various sorts. The principal are: the puff direct-the puff preliminary-the puff collateral—the puff collusive-and the puff oblique, or puff by implication. These all assume, as circumstances require, the various forms of letter to the editor, occasional anecdote, impartial critique, observation from correspondent, or advertisement from the party.

Sneer. The puff direct I can conceive.

Puff. O yes, that's simple enough. For instance, a new comedy or farce is to be produced at one of the theatres. The author-suppose Mr. Smatter, or Mr. Dapper, or any particular friend of mine. Very well. The day before it is to be performed, I write an account of the manner in which it was received. I have the plot from the author, and only addCharacters strongly drawn-highly colored-hand of a master -fund of genuine humor-mine of invention-neat dialogueattic salt! Then, for the performance-Mr. Dodd was astonishingly great in the character of Sir Harry! That universal and judicious actor, Mr. Palmer, perhaps never appeared to more advantage than in the Colonel; but it is not in the power of language to do justice to Mr. King! Indeed, he more than merited those repeated bursts of applause which he drew from a most brilliant and judicious audience! As to the scenerythe miraculous powers of Mr. De Loutherburgh's pencil are

universally acknowledged! In short, we are at a loss which to admire most-the unrivalled genius of the author, the great attention and liberality of the managers, the wonderful abilities of the painter, or the incredible exertions of all the performers!

Sneer. That's pretty well, indeed, sir.

Puff. O cool-quite cool-to what I sometimes do.

Sneer.

And do you think there are any who are influenced

by this? Puff. O lud! yes, sir. The number of those who undergo the fatigue of judging for themselves is very small indeed. Sneer. Well, sir, the puff preliminary?

Puff. O that, sir, does well in the form of a caution. Dang. Egad, Sneer, you will be quite an adept in business. Puff Now, sir, the puff collateral is much used as an appendage to advertisements, and may take the form of anecdote:-Yesterday, as the celebrated George Bon-Mot was sauntering down St. James' street, he met the lively Lady Mary Myrtle, coming out of the Park. "Why, Lady Mary, I'm surprised to meet you in a white jacket; for I expected never to have seen you but in a full-trimmed uniform and a light-horseman's cap!" "Indeed, George, where could you have learned that?" "Why," replied the wit, "I just saw a print of you in a new publication called the Camp Magazine; which, by-the-bye, is a very clever thing, and is sold at No. 3, on the right hand of the way, two doors from the printing office, the corner of Ivy lane, Paternoster row, price only one shilling !"

Sneer. Very ingenious indeed!

Puff. But the puff collusive is the newest of any; for it acts in the disguise of determined hostility. It is much used by bold booksellers and enterprising poets. An indignant correspondent observes, that the new poem called Beelzebub's Cotillon, or Proserpine's Fêté Champétre, is one of the most unjustifiable performances he ever read! The severity with which certain characters are handled is quite shocking! And as there are many descriptions in it too warmly colored for

female delicacy, the shameful avidity with which this piece is bought by all people of fashion, is a reproach on the taste of the times, and a disgrace to the delicacy of the age!-Here, you see, the two strongest inducements are held forth: first, that nobody ought to read it; and, secondly, that everybody buys it; on the strength of which, the publisher boldly prints the tenth edition, before he had sold ten of the first.

Dang. Ha ha! ha! Egad, I know it is so.

Puff. As to the puff oblique, or puff by implication, it is too various and extensive to be illustrated by an instance. It branches into so many varieties, that it is the last principal class of the art of puffing-an art which, I hope, you will now agree with me, is of the highest dignity.

THE PEEPING LADIES.

A VERY fat elderly lady

Made a charge against widow O'BRADY;
With tongue, nails, and fists,

They entered the lists,

And she brought her complaint to the CADY.

The name of this elderly lady,

Assaulted by Mrs. O'Brady,

Was JESSY MACFARLANE,

That "wandering darling,"
Whose praises are chanted on May-day.

They had both come to London a-shopping,
And now for a little were stopping,

To mind their affairs,

Up three pair of stairs,

In elegant chambers at Wapping.

They liv'd there like folks of condition,
In absolute juxta-position;

Between them there stood,

Made of nothing but wood,

A remarkably slender partition.

'But each would have reckon'd it sneaking The other's regards to be seeking;

In the yard, on the stairs,

And returning from pray'rs,

They constantly pass'd without speaking.

In the wall was a hole very cunning,
Whither often each lady was running,
And on tip-toe would creep,
At her neighbor to peep,-

A thing more vexatious than dunning!

One day, when a storm was a-brewing,
The ladies their work were pursuing,
Each thought the rough day
Would pass smoothly away,

If she peep'd at what t'other was doing,

Their eyes glar'd with sudden ferocity,
And lit up their long animosity;
At the same moment, each

Made the very same speech,
Upbraiding such mean curiosity.

"Now, madam, you're caught past denying! What could the mean creature be spying? I went but to see

If you then look'd at me,

For I thought you were given to prying."

Macfarlane exceeded in clamor;

'Twas O'Brady's misfortune to stammer So-not caring a fig,

For cap, bonnet, or wig

She belabor'd her head with a hammer.

Though the tongue of Macfarlane was longest,
The arm of O'Brady was strongest,

With hard words and hard blows,

Ugly names, bloody nose,

I cannot say which was the wrongest.

The magistrate, fam'd for good breeding,
Of both heard the eloquent pleading,
Then mildly propos'd,

That the hole should be clos'd,
Such disputes unavoidably feeding.

The law ever walks circumspectly,
And condemning the peep-hole correctly,
Stopp'd it up with a cork,

But, behold! with a fork
Each dame made a new one directly.

CALLING UP A TRAVELLER.-J. POOLE.

I returned to Reeve's Hotel, College Green, where. I was lodging.

*

The individual who, at this time, so ably filled the important office of " Boots," at the hotel was a character. Be it remembered that, in his youth, he had been discharged from his place for omitting to call a gentleman who was to go by one of the morning coaches, and who, in consequence of such neglect, missed his journey. This misfortune made a lasting impression on the intelligent mind of Mr. Boots.

" Boots," said I, in a mournful tone, "you call me at four o'clock."

"Do 'ee want to get up, zur ?" inquired he, with a broad Somersetshire twang.

"Want it, indeed! no; but I must."

“Well, zur, I'll carl'ee; if you be as sure to get up as I be