Nay, start not thus with looks of terror;
Alas, what an illiberal folly 'tis,
To think I have not seen the error
Of all my deleterious qualities.
Yes-always friendly to expedients,

I have reformed and changed my state,
And being mixed with new ingredients,
Such as corrosive sublimate,
Hemlock, arsenic, and some others,
Worthy of such worthy brothers.
All my diagnostics deadly

Have vanished in this precious medley;
Wherefore my firm belief and trust is,
(Pursued the glossing, wheedling phial,)
That you in candid sense of justice,
Will give us one and all a trial."
"Trial," cried Bull, with face of scarlet,
"Out of my sight, cajoling varlet!
You and your ratsbane coadjutors
Presume to come to me as suitors!
Do you, convicted, old offenders,
Set up for constitution-menders ?
You, whose whole nature is at strife
With every principle of life!

Trial, indred! I'll try to throttle

Your poisoned throats, and break your bottle, So quit my sight, and tell your mixer, However he may fume and storm,

He must return to the elixir,

That's labelled with the word 'Reform.'"

THE LAND VERSUS THE SEA.-ANON.

OH! give me to tread the steadfast Earth,
With a firm step bold and free:

For surely a rood of land is worth

More than an acre of sea :

The pleasure that lies in the deep, deep sea,
Lieth all too deep for me.

The tiller I leave where the fierce winds blow,
And I'll be a tiller of ground:

The only bark that I wish to know,

Is the bark of my faithful hound:

For the pleasure that lies in the deep, deep sea,
Lieth all too deep for me.

A summer-day's cruise 'neath a squalless sky
Is doubtless a right merry thing,

As swiftly past Cape and headland we fly,
On our sea-gull's snowy wing;

Yet the pleasure that lies in the deep, deep sea,
Lieth all too deep for me.

Though to woo the sea may be full of bliss,
Whilst her voice is sweet and low,

Yet her wavelet lips seem meeting your kiss
When
you reel to the might of a blow.

Oh! the pleasure that lies in the deep, deep sea,
Lieth all too deep for me.

Then the night-capped waves grow wild in their glee,
And the wooer grows queerish and pale;

And the tribute he offers his mistress, the sea,

It seemeth of little avail:

Ah! the pleasure that lies in the deep, deep sea,

Lieth all too deep for me.

The perfumed Earth for a bride I take,

And our nuptial couch of flowers

Shall be placed by the brink of some reedy lake,
Where Nature rules the Hours;

For the pleasure that lies in the deep, deep sea,
Lieth all too deep for me.

There the music tones of each brooklet and bird.
And the wind through the old woods sweeping,
In our leafy home shall alone be heard,
While our tryste we are fondly keeping:
Ah! the pleasure that lies in the deep, deep sea.
Lieth all too deep for me:

Then give me to tread the steadfast Earth,
With a firm step bold and free;

For surely a rood of land is worth
More than an acre of sea;

The pleasure that lies in the deep, deep sea,
Lieth all too deep for me.

THE ART OF PUFFING.-R. B. SHERIDAN.

PUFF, DANGLE AND SNEER.

Puff. My dear Dangle, how is it with you?

Dang. Mr. Sneer, give me leave to introduce Mr. Puff to you.

Puff. Mr. Sneer is this? Sir, he is a gentleman whom I have long panted for the honor of knowing-a gentleman whose critical talents and transcendent judgment

Dang. Nay, don't be modest, Sneer: my friend Puff only talks to you in the style of his profession.

Sneer. His profession!

Puff. Yes, sir; I make no secret of the trade I followamong friends and brother authors. Dangle knows I love to be frank on the subject, and to advertise myself vivà voce. I am, sir, a practitioner in panegyric; or, tó speak more plainly, a professor of the art of puffing, at your service, or anybody else's.

Sneer. Sir, you are very obliging! I believe, Mr. Puff, I have often admired your talents in the daily prints.

Puff. Yes, sir; I flatter myself I do as much business in that way as any six of the fraternity in town. Very hard work all the summer. Friend Dangle! never worked harder!

Sneer. But I should think, Mr. Puff, that authors would in general be able to do this sort of work for themselves.

Puff. Why, yes, but in a clumsy way. Besides, we look on that as an encroachment, and so take the opposite side. I dare say, now, you conceive half the very civil paragraphs and advertisements you see to be written by the parties concerned, or their friends. No such thing. Nine out of ten, manufac

tured by me in the way of business.

Sneer. Indeed!—

Puff. Even the auctioneers, now-the auctioneers, I say, though the rogues have lately got some credit for their language-not an article of the merit theirs! Take them out of their stands, and they are as dull as catalogues. No, sir;-'twas I first enriched their style-'twas I first taught them to crowd their advertisements with panegyrical superlatives, each epithet rising above the other, like the bidders in their own auction-rooms! From me they learned to inlay their phraseology with variegated chips of exotic metaphor. By me, too, their inventive faculties were called forth. Yes, sir, by me they were instructed to clothe ideal walls with gratuitous fruits to insinuate obsequious rivulets into visionary groves— to teach courteous shrubs to nod their approbation of the grateful soil—or, on emergencies, to raise upstart oaks, where there never had been an acorn; to create a delightful vicinage, without the assistance of a neighbor; or fix the temple of Hygeia in the fens of Lincolnshire!

Dang. I am sure you have done them infinite service; for now, when a gentleman is ruined, he parts with his house with some credit.

Sneer. But pray, Mr. Puff, what first put you on exercising your talents in this way?

Puff. Egad, sir, sheer necessity-the proper parent of an art so nearly allied to invention. You must know, Mr. Sneer, that from the first time I tried my hand at an advertisement,

my success was such, that, for some time after, I led a most extraordinary life indeed.

Sneer. How, pray?

Puff. Sir, I supported myself two years entirely by my misfortunes.

Sneer. By your misfortunes?

Puff. Yes, sir, assisted by long sickness, and other occasional disorders; and a very comfortable living I had of it. Sneer. From sickness and misfortunes!

Puff Hark ye! By advertisements, "To the charitable and humane!" and "To those whom Providence hath blessed with affluence !"

Sneer. Oh, I understand you.

Puff. And, in truth, I deserved what I got; for I suppose never man went through such a series of calamities in the same space of time. Sir, I was five times made a bankrupt, and reduced from a state of affluence, by a train of unavoidable misfortunes. Then, sir, though a very industrious tradesman, I was twice burnt out, and lost my little all both times. I lived upon those fires a month. I soon after was confined by a most excruciating disorder, and lost the use of my limbs. That told very well; for I had the case strongly attested, and went about collecting the subscriptions myself.

Dang. Egad! I believe that was when you first called on

me

Puff. What! in November last? O no. I was, when I called on you, a close prisoner in the Marshalsea, for a debt benevolently contracted to serve a friend. I was afterwards twice tapped for a dropsy, which declined into a very profitable consumption. I was then reduced to-O no- -then I became a widow, with six helpless children, after having had eleven ausbands, who all died, leaving me in depths of poverty.

Sneer. And you bore all with patience, I make no doubt. Puff. Why, yes. Well, sir, at last, what with bankruptcies, fires, gouts, dropsies, imprisonments, and other valuable calamities, having got together a pretty handsome sum, I determined to quit a business which had always gone rather against my