I watched her attentively; handed her till her chair; waited on her hame; got most releegiously intimate wi' her in a week; married her in a fortnight; buried her in a month; touched the siller; and wi' a deep suit of mourning, a sorrowful veesage, and a joyful heart, I began the warld again;—and this, sir, was the first effectual boow I ever made till the vanity of human nature. Noow, sir, do ye understand this doctrine? Eger. Perfectly well, sir.

Sir P. My next boow, sir, was till your ain mither, whom I ran away wi' fra the boarding-school, by the interest of whose family I got a gude smart place i' th' treasury; and, sir, my vary next step was intill parliament, the whach I entered wi' as ardent and as determined an ambeetion as ever ageetated the heart o' Cæsar himsel'. Sir, I boowed, and watched, and attended, and dangled upo' the then great mon; till I got intill the vary bowels of his confidence-hah! got my snack of the clothing, the foraging, the contracts, the lottery tickets, and aw the poleetical bonuses; till at length, sir, I became a much wealthier mon than one half of the golden calves I had been so long a-boowing to. (He rises; EGERTON rises too.) And was nae that boowing to some purpose, sir, ha?

Eger. It was indeed, sir.

Sir P. But are ye convinced of the gude effects and of the uteelity of boowing?

Eger. Thoroughly, sir, thoroughly.

Sir P. Sir, it is infallible. But, Charles, ah! while I was thus boowing and raising this princely fortune, ah! I met many heart sores and disappointments, fra the want of leeterature, ailoquence, and other popular abeelities. Sir, gin I could but ha'e spoken i' th' house, I should ha'e done the deed in half the time; but the instant I opened my mouth there, they aw fell a-laughing at me,-aw which defeeciencies, sir, I determined, at any expense, till have supplied by the polished education of a son, who, I hoped, would yane day raise the house of Macsycophant till the highest pinnacle of ministeerial ambeetion. This, sir, is my plan; I ha'e done my part of it; Nature has done her's. Ye are ailoquant, ye are popular; aw

parties like ye; and noow, sir, it only remains for ye to be directed-completion follows.

Eger. Your liberality, sir, in my education, and the judicious choice you made of an instructor for me, are obligations I ever shall remember with the deepest filial gratitude; for from that good man I have learned, what not even parental power can ever induce me to abandon-namely, under no circumstances whatever, to do what is base in order to secure a personal advantage.

THE FAKENHAM GHOST.-BLOOMFIELD.

THE lawns were dry in Euston Park;
(Here truth inspires my tale)
The lonely foot-path still and dark,
Led over hill and dale.

Benighted was an ancient dame,

And fearful haste she made
To gain the vale of Fakenham,
And hail its willow shade.

The dappled herd of grazing deer
That sought the shades by day,
Now started from her path with fear,
And gave the stranger way.

Darker it grew; and darker fears

Came o'er her troubled mind;

When now, a short quick step she hears
Come patting close behind.

She turn'd; it stopt!-nought could she see

Upon the gloomy plain,

But as she strove the sprite to flee,

She heard the same again.

Now terror seiz'd her quaking frame :
For, where the path was bare,
The trotting ghost kept on the same!
She mutter'd many a prayer.

Yet once again, amidst her fright,
She tried what sight could do;
When through the cheating glooms of night
A MONSTER stood in view.

Regardless of whate'er she felt,

It follow'd down the plain!

She own'd her sins, and down she knelt,
And said her prayers again.

Then on she sped; and hope grew strong,
The white park gate in view;
Which pushing hard, so long it swung
That ghost and all pass'd through.

Loud fell the gate against the post!
Her heart-strings like to crack:
For much she fear'd the grisly ghost
Would leap upon her back.

Still on, pat, pat, the goblin went,
As it had done before;

Her strength and resolution spent,

She fainted at the door.

Out came her husband, much surpris'd:

Out came her daughter dear;

Good-natur'd souls! all unadvis'd

Of what they had to fear.

The candle's gleam pierc'd through the night,

Some short space o'er the

green;

And there the little trotting sprite

Distinctly might be seen.

A favorite the ghost became ;

And 'twas his fate to thrive :

And long he liv'd, and spread his fame,
And kept the joke alive.

For many a laugh went through the vale,
And some conviction too :-
Each thought some other goblin tale,
Perhaps, was just as true.

TRIUMPH OF PRINCIPLE.-MORTON.

SIR PHILIP BLANFORD AND ASHFIELD.

Sir Philip. Come hither. I believe you hold a farm of mine.

Ashfield. Eees, zur, I do, at your zarvice.

Sir P. I hope a profitable one.

Ash. Zometimes it be, zur. But thic year it be all t'other way, as 'twur; but I do hope, as our landlords have a tightish big lump of the good, they'll be so kind-hearted as to take a little bit of the bad.

Sir P. It is but reasonable. I conclude, then, you are in my debt.

Ash. Eees, zur, I be; at your zarvice.

Sir P. How much?

Ash. I do owe ye a hundred and fifty pounds; at your zar

vice.

Sir P. Which you can't pay.

Ash. Not avarthing, zur; at you zarvice.

Sir. P. Well, I am willing to allow you every indulgence. Ash. Be you, zur? that be deadly kind. Dear heart! it will make my auld dame quite young again, and I don't think helping a poor man will do your honor's health any harm; I don't, indeed, zur. I had thought of speaking to your worship about it; but then, thinks I, the gentleman mayhap be one of those that do like to do a good turn, and not have a word zaid about it: zo zur, if you had not mentioned what I owed you, I am zure never should; should not, indeed, zur. Sir. P. Nay, I will wholly acquit you of the debt, on con dition

Ash. Eees, zur.

I

Sir. P. On condition, I say, that you instantly turn out that boy-that Henry.

Ash. Turn out Henry! Ha, ha, ha! Excuse my tittering, zur; but you bees making your vun of I, zure.

Sir. P. I am not apt to trifle: send him instantly from you, or take the consequences.

Ash. Turn out Henry! I do vow I shouldn't know how to set about it; I should not, indeed, zur.

Sir. P. You hear my determination. If you disobey, you know what will follow. I'll leave you to reflect on it. (Exit.)

Ash. Well, zur, I'll argify the topic, and then you may wait upon me, and I'll tell ye. (Makes the motion of turning out.) I should be deadly awkward at it, vor zartin. However, I'll put the case. Well! I goes whiztling whoam; noa, drabbit it! I shouldn't be able to whiztle a bit, I'm zure. Well! I goes whoam, and I zees Henry zitting by my wife, mixing up someit to comfort the auld zoul, and take away the