haughty People, who triumphed over barbarous Nations, by acting what was fit only for those very Barbarians to practife. It seems wonderful, that they who were fo refined as to take Care, that to compleat the Honour done to the victorious Officer, no Power should be known above him in the Empire on the Day of his Triumph, but that the Confuls themfelves fhould be but Guests at his Table that Evening, could not take it into Thought to make the Man of chief Note among his Prisoners one of the Company. This would have improved the Gladness of the Occafion, and the Victor had made a much greater Figure, in that no other Man appeared unhappy on his Day, than be caufe no other Man appeared great.

But we will wave at prefent fuch important Incidents, and turn our Thoughts rather to the familiar Part of humane Life, and we shall find, that the great Bufinefs we contend for, is in a less Degree what thofe Romans did on more folemn Occafions, to triumph over our Fellow Creatures; and there is hardly a Man to be found, who would not rather be in Pain to appear happy, than be really happy and thought miferable. This Men attempt by sumptuous Equipages, fplendid Houfes, numerous Servants, and all the Cares and Purfuits of an ambitious or fashionable Life.

Bromeo and Tabio are particularly Ill-withers to each other, and Rivals in Happiness. There is no Way in Nature fo good to procure the Efteem of the one, as to give him little Notices of certain fecret Points wherein the other is un

I

eafy,

eafy. Gnatho has the Skill of doing this, and never applauds the Improvements Bromeo has been many Years making, and ever will be making; but he adds, "Now this very Thing was my Thought when Tabio was pulling up his 'Underwood, yet he never would hear of it; but now your Gardens are in this Pofture, he ' is ready to hang himself. Well, to be fincere, ⚫ that Situation of his can never make an agree⚫able Seat: He may make his House and Appur⚫tenances what he pleases; but he cannot remove them to the fame Ground where Bromeo ftands; and of all Things under the Sun, a Man ⚫ that is happy at Second-hand is the most mon• ftrous. " 'Tis a very strange Madness (answers Bromeo) if a Man on these Occafions can think of any End but pleafing himself. As for my Part, if Things are convenient, I hate all Oftentation: There is no End of the Folly of adapting our Affairs to the Imagination of others. Upon which, the next Thing he does, is to enlarge whatever he hears his Rival has attempted to imitate him in ; but their Misfortune is, that they are in their Time of Life, in their Estates, and in their understandings equal; so that the Emulation may continue to the last Day of their Lives. As it ftands now, Tabio has heard Bro meo has lately purchased Two Hundred a Year in the Annuities fince he last settled the Account of their Happiness, in which he thought himfelf to have the Ballance. This may feem a very fantastical Way of thinking in these Men; but there is nothing fo common, as a Man's endeavouring rather to go further than fome other

Perfon

Perfon towards an easy Fortune, than to form any certain Standard that would make himself happy.

Will's Coffee-houfe, September 2.

Mr. Dactile has been this Evening very profufe of his Eloquence upon the Talent of turning Things into Ridicule; and feemed to fay very justly, That there was generally in it fomething too difingenuous for the Society of liberal Men, except it were governed by the Circumstances of Perfons, Time and Place. This Talent, continued he, is to be used as a Man does his Sword, not to be drawn but in his own Defence, or to bring Pretenders and Impoftors in Society to a true Light. But we have seen this Faculty fo mistaken, that the Burlesque of Virgil himself has paffed, among Men of little Taft, for Wit; and the noblest Thoughts that can enter into the Heart of Man, levelled with Ribaldry and Basenefs: Though by the Rules of Juftice, no Man ought to be ridiculed for any Imperfection, who does not set up for eminent Sufficiency in that Way wherein he is defective. Thus Cowards, who would hide themselves by an affected Terror in their Mien and Dress; and Pedants, who would show the Depth of their Knowledge by a fupercilious Gravity, are equally the Objects of Laughter. Not that they are in themselves ridiculous for their Want of Courage, or Weaknefs of Understanding, but that they feem infenfible of their own Place in Life, and unhappily rank themselves with thofe, whofe Abilities, compared to their Defects, make them contemptible.

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At the fame Time, it must be remarked, That Rifibility being the Effect of Reason, a Man ought to be expelled from fober Company who laughs without it. Ha! ha! fays Will. Truby, who fat by, Will any Man pretend to give me Laws when I fhould laugh, or tell me what I fhould laugh at? Look ye, anfwer'd Humphrey Slyboots, you are mightily mistaken; you may, if you please, make what Noise you will, and no Body can hinder an English Gentleman from putting his Face into what Pofture he thinks fit but, take my Word for it, that Motion which you now make with your Mouth open, and the Agitation of your Stomach, which you relieve by holding your Sides, is not Laughter: Laughter is a more weighty Thing than you imagine; and I'll tell you a Secret, You never did laugh in your Life; and truly I am afraid you never will, except you take great Care to be cured of thofe Convulfive Fits. Truby left us, and when he had got Two Yards from us, Well (faid he) you are ftrange Fellows, and was immediately taken with another Fit.

The Trubies are a well-natur'd Family, whose particular Make is fuch, that they have the fame Pleafure out of good Will, which other People have in that Scorn which is the Caufe of Laughter: Therefore their bursting into the Figures of Men when laughing, proceeds only from a general Benevolence they are born with as the Slyboots fmile only on the greatest Occafion of Mirth; which Difference is caused rather from a different Structure of their Organs, than that one is lefs moved than the other. I know Sower[Vol. 2.]

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ly

ly frets inwardly when Will.Truby laughs at him; but when I meet him and he burfts out, I know 'tis out of his abundant Joy to fee me, which he expreffes by that Vociferation which is in others Laughter. But I shall defer confidering this Subject at large, till I come to my Treatife of Ofcitation, Laughter, and Ridicule.

From my own Apartment, September 2.

The following Letter being a Panegyrick upon me for a Quality which every Man may attain, an Acknowledgment of his Faults; I thought it for the Good of my Fellow Writers to publish it.

SIR,

Τ

IT must be allowed, that Ffquire Bickerstaff is of all Authors the most ingenuous. There are few, very few, that will own themselves in a Miftake, though all the World fee them to be in downright Nonfence. You'll be pleased, Sir, to pardon this Expreffion, for the fame Reafon for which you once defired us to excufe you when you feemed any Thing dull. Moft Writers, like the Generality of Paul Lorrain's Saints, feem to place a peculiar Vanity in dying hard. But you, Sir, to fhew a good Example to your Brethren, have not only confeffed, but of your own Accord mended the Indictment. Nay, you have been fo good-natured as to difcover Beauties in it, which, I'll affure you, he that drew it never dreamed of: And to make your Civility the more accomplished, you have honoured him with the Title of your Kinfman, which, though derived by the Left-Hand, he is not a little proud of. My Brother (for fuch Obadiah is) being at prefent very bufy about nothing, has ordered