Has any man a propensity for managing a French company? for, after the present dissertation upon hanging, I know nothing else so nearly allied to a state of suspension. Dangling in the air is no doubt bad enough, but dangling after the heels of a French actress is very little better. Their professional expectations being chiefly based upon gallantry, their lives are passed in a routine of demands and concessions. The names of Cartou, Gaussin, Arnould, Fel, Defresne, and a long list of others, might be added to one equally long of modern date, and brought to bear in testimony of my assertion. If not already launched into her full career, the little butterfly is guarded by a mother or a duenna, superintending the developement of her charms; if it hath been winged, it is ushered in by some guardian angel of the masculine gender, and with these respective dragons of the Hesperides has the director of a French theatre to contend. The contest with the beauties themselves is quite formidable enough; for the exaction of so much courtesy, which their exaction of so many professional privileges renders it difficult to pay, neutralizes every effort to preserve harmony. If a French actress be allotted a character she does not like, or if the one she does like be given to another, the manager is waited upon by some noble admirer, to point out the injustice inflicted upon the object of his admiration, who generally ends his complaint, in case of its being redressed, with a promise to support the theatre-which promise 212 FRENCH ACTRESSES. he makes a point of breaking. If the fair actress be given a dress which, in the eyes of her worshipper, does not set off the charms he worships to the fullest advantage, the manager stands a chance of having a bullet lodged in his thigh, or a small sword run through his thorax. If the lady, from not possessing the talent she imagines, or even if she does possess it, from not being as amenable as might be wished, be "shelved," the manager is either favoured with a visit from some proprietor of, or writer in, a journal, or with the perusal of some article in the same, pointing out the loss the public sustains by the non-employment of so fascinating a performer, of whose talents, but for such paragraph, the public would never have heard at all. It is impossible almost for a Frenchman, certainly for an Englishman, to be a match for a French actress, who is a perfect mistress of coquetterie, and has had the principles of finesse instilled into her mind from the earliest dawn of comprehension. The most perfect managerial adept I ever met is my friend Monsieur Véron, who, at the time he was directeur of the Académie Royale de Musique at Paris, visited this country for the purpose of engaging Les Demoiselles Elssler. He gave them a splendid dinner at the Clarendon, and when the dessert was put upon the table, the centre piece was a large salver of bijouterie for each of them to select one trinket from, of a given value, in addition to the theatrical engagement he offered them. It was not only an elegant but a very politic mode of arranging business; for while they would have otherwise been disputing half the time upon a question of a few hundred francs, a bauble, of not half the value, decided it at once. I shall not easily forget Véron's astonishment at the bill for this dinner; not at its general amount, which, considering the splendour of the "spread" for sixteen of us, was very reasonable, (being under 407.) but at an item of 81. 8s. for soup! He could not understand that the usual extraordinary charge of half a guinea a head, when turtle is put on the table, was any thing short of imposition, averring, with an ambiguous smile, that 87. 8s. would nearly purchase all the soup in Paris. But Véron knew his people; for many things may be done with a foreign actress, if you commence operations with a dinner, and end them with a diamond.* In these general remarks, however, not the slightest impolite allusion to Mademoiselle Elssler or her sister is intended, for I have invariably found her tractable and obliging; but in the main, these performers are unmanageable. They will frequently be more than an hour behind their time at rehearsal, a great rudeness in itself, but they will be still more rude if they find the rehearsal has proceeded without * VERON seemed also to have studied The Two Gentlemen of VERONA : "Dumb jewels often, in their silent kind, "More than quick words, do move a woman's mind!" Act iii. scene 1. 214 FRENCH ACTRESSES. In them, or has been dismissed in consequence of their absence. The progress of business is frequently retarded while that morning companion of the dressing-room, a basin of bouillon, is undergoing demolition; and is as frequently interrupted by the intrusion of admiring visiters. dans les coulisses. short, I have long since arrived at the conclusion that they are altogether ungovernable; for what with the demands for payments and perquisites, billets and boxes, dresses and dressing-rooms, beaux and their bullyings, impudence and intrigue, and all the consequences of non-compliance, a manager's life is harassed without achievement, while they have their way at last; verifying the ancient couplet, "For what they will, they will-you may depend on't, "And what they won't, they won't-and there's an end on't." 215 CHAPTER IX. Patent delights!-the regular and the irregular drama-Their advantages discussed-Madame Pasta, the Lord Chamberlain, and his late Majesty-Some doubt where Drury Lane is-Sir Herbert Taylor and the Baron Ompteda-Lord Foley and his Gentlemenat-Arms-London and Windsor duties-Fulfilment of the latter put in practice-Expensive soliciting-Lying in state, and state lying-Shakspeare's definition of honour-Duke of Beaufort and Mademoiselle Taglioni-Effect of royal deaths on royal theatres -Madame Schroeder Devrient-Bad French and bad conductHigh and low exchequers. THE Patents! If the parties who are at this moment arguing so strongly the injustice of their existence, and the absolute necessity of their abrogation, were but in the exercise of the privilege supposed to belong to them, they would have a hearty laugh at themselves for the unnecessary pains they are taking. They are literally worthless to their possessors, and harmless to those they are supposed to injure. THE PATENTS (pretty dears!) are supposed to give their holders a monopoly over the drama, whereby they may act any entertainment of the stage they think. proper, and limit other theatres to particular per |