as one is a portion of the other-we ought seriously to sit down and consider what idea it is we have of duration, so as to give a satisfactory account how we came by it.—What is that to any body? quoth my uncle Toby. For if you will turn your eyes inwards upon your mind, continued my father, and observe attentively, you will perceive, brother, that whilst you and I are talking together, and thinking, and smoking our pipes, or whilst we receive successively ideas in our minds, we know that we do exist, and so we estimate the existence, or the continuation of the existence of ourselves, or any thing else, commensurate to the succession of any ideas in our minds, the duration of ourselves, or any such other thing co-existing with our thinking—and so according to that preconceived You puzzle me to death, cried my uncle

Toby.

'Tis owing to this, replied my father, that in our computations of time, we are so used to minutes, hours, weeks and months-and of clocks (I wish there was not a clock in the kingdom) to measure out their several portions to us, and to those who belong to us-that 'twill be well, if in time to come, the succession of our ideas be of any use or service to us at all.

A

Now, whether we observe it or no, continued my father, in every sound man's head there is a regular succession of ideas of one sort or other, which follow each other in train just like— train of artillery? said my uncle Toby.—A train of a fiddle-stick! quoth my father-which follow and succeed one another in our minds at certain

distances, just like the images in the inside of a lanthorn turned round by the heat of a candle.— I declare, quoth my uncle Toby, mine are more like a smoke-jack.-Then, brother Toby, I have nothing more to say to you upon the subject, said my father.

AND

LIV

Mr. Shandy on child-bearing

ND how does your mistress? cried my father, taking the same step over again from the landing, and calling to Susannah, whom he saw passing by the foot of the stairs with a huge pincushion in her hand-how does your mistress? -As well, said Susannah, tripping by, but without looking up, as can be expected.—What a fool am I ! said my father, drawing his leg back again-let things be as they will, brother Toby, 'tis ever the precise answer-And how is the child, pray? No answer. And where is Dr. Slop? added my father, raising his voice aloud, and looking over the ballusters-Susannah was out of hearing.

Of all the riddles of a married life, said my father, crossing the landing in order to set his back against the wall, whilst he propounded it to my uncle Toby-of all the puzzling riddles, said he, in a marriage state,—of which you may trust me, brother Toby, there are more asses' loads than all Job's stock of asses could have carried-there is not one that has more intricacies in it than thisthat from the very moment the mistress of the house is brought to bed, every female in it, from

my lady's gentlewoman down to the cinder-wench, becomes an inch taller for it; and give themselves more airs upon that single inch, than all the other inches put together.

I think rather, replied my uncle Toby, that 'tis we who sink an inch lower.-If I meet but a woman with child-I do it.-"Tis a heavy tax upon that half of our fellow-creatures, brother Shandy, said my uncle Toby-'Tis a piteous burden, upon 'em, continued he, shaking his head -Yes, yes, 'tis a painful thing-said my father, shaking his head too—but certainly since shaking of heads came into fashion, never did two heads shake together, in concert, from two such different springs.

God bless

Deuce take

'em all-said my uncle Toby and

my father, each to himself.

LV

Mr. Easy proves himself far-sighted

T was the fourth day after Mrs. Easy's confinement that Mr. Easy, who was sitting by her bedside in an easy chair, commenced as follows: "I have been thinking, my dear Mrs. Easy, about the name I shall give this child."

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Name, Mr. Easy! why, what name should you give it but your own?"

"Not so, my dear,” replied Mr. Easy; "they call all names proper names, but I think that mine It is the very worst name in the calendar.” "Why, what's the matter with it, Mr. Easy?'

is not.

"The matter affects me as well as the boy. Nicodemus is a long name to write at full length, and Nick is vulgar. Besides, as there will be two Nicks, they will naturally call my boy young Nick, and of course I shall be styled old Nick, which will be diabolical."

“Well, Mr. Easy, at all events then let me choose the name.'

"That you shall, my dear, and it was with this view that I have mentioned the subject so early." "I think, Mr. Easy, I will call the boy after my poor father-his name shall be Robert."

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Very well, my dear, if you wish it, it shall be Robert. You shall have your own way. But I think, my dear, upon a little consideration, you will acknowledge that there is a decided objection.” "An objection, Mr. Easy?”

"Yes, my dear; Robert may be very well, but you must reflect upon the consequences; he is certain to be called Bob."

"Well, my dear, and suppose they do call him. Bob?"

"I cannot bear even the supposition, my dear. You forget the county in which we are residing, the downs covered with sheep."

"Why, Mr. Easy, what can sheep have to do with a Christian name?

"There it is; women never look to consequences. My dear, they have a great deal to do with the name of Bob. I will appeal to any farmer in the county, if ninety-nine shepherds' dogs out of one hundred are not called Bob. Now observe, your child is out of doors somewhere in the fields

or plantations; you want and you call him. Instead of your child, what do you find? Why, a dozen curs at least, who come running up to you, all answering to the name of Bob, and wagging their stumps of tails. You see, Mrs. Easy, it is a dilemma not to be got over. You level your only son to the brute creation by giving him a Christian name which, from its peculiar brevity, has been monopolised by all the dogs in the county. Any other name you please, my dear, but in this one instance you must allow me to lay my positive veto.”

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LVI

Mr. Easy explains his system

Y

My dear son," replied Mr. Easy, sitting down,

and crossing his legs complacently, with his two hands under his right thigh, according to his usual custom, when much pleased with himself,— why, my dear son, that is not exactly the case, and yet you have shown some degree of perception even in your guess; for if my invention succeeds, and I have no doubt of it, I shall have discovered the great art of rectifying the mistakes of nature, and giving an equality of organisation to the whole species, of introducing all the finer organs of humanity, and of destroying the baser. It is a splendid invention, Jack, very splendid. They may talk of Gall and Spurzheim, and all those; but what have they done? nothing but divided the brain into sections, classed the organs, and discovered where they reside; but what good result has been