LESSON XXXII. MADE TO SELL. ANONYMOUS. 1. A FELLOW, in a market-town, Most musical, cried razors, up and down, That every man would buy, with cash and sense. 2. A country bumpkin the great offer heard; 3. "No matter if the fellow be a knave, It certainly will be a monstrous prize." And quickly soaped himself to ears and eyes. 4. Being well lathered from a dish or tub, "I wish my eighteen-pence was in my purse." 5. In vain, to chase his beard, and bring the graces, He cut, and dug, and whined, and stamped, and swore; Brought blood, and danced, blasphemed, and made wry faces, And cursed each razor's body o'er and o'er. His muzzle, formed of opposition stuff, So kept it, laughing at the steel and suds. 6. Hodge, in a passion, stretched his angry jaws, Vowing the direst vengeance, with clenched claws, On the vile cheat that sold the goods. "Razors!" a vile, confounded dog! Not fit to scrape a hog!' 7. Hodge sought the fellow, found him, and begun, "P'rhaps, Master Razor-rogue, to you 'tis fun, That people flay themselves out of their lives; You rascal! for an hour have I been grubbing, Giving my crying whiskers here a scrubbing, With razors just like oyster-knives. 8. "Sirrah! I tell you, you're a knave, To cry up razors that can't shave." 66 'Friend," quoth the razor man, "I'm not a knave; As for the razors you have bought, Upon my soul, I never thought That they would shave." 9. "Not think they'd shave," quoth Hodge, with wondering eyes, And voice not much unlike an Indian yell, "What were they made for, then, you dog?" he cries; "Made," quoth the fellow, with a smile, "to sell! " LESSON XXXIII. THE MAD MAN AND HIS RAZOR. ANONYMOUS. 1. His eye was stern and wild, his cheek 2. He mused awhile, but not in doubt, 3. Once more he looked upon the scroll, 4. I saw him bare his throat, and seize 5. A sickness crept upon my heart, And dizzy swam my head; I could not stay, I could not cry, I felt benumbed and dead. 6. Black, icy horror struck me dumb, And froze my senses o'er; I closed my eyes in utter fear, And strove to think no more. 7. Again I looked-a fearful change He seemed to gasp-on cheek and lip 8. He raised on high the glittering bladeThen first I found a tongue: “Hold, madman! stay the frantic deed!" I cried, as forth I sprung. 9. He heard me, but he heeded not, LESSON XXXIV. FIRM RESOLUTION. ANONYMOUS. 1. No! I will never see him more, He smiled last night when Julia smiled, If thus by her he is beguiled, I'll never see him more! Nor play the waltzes o'er; I'll never please him more! As thousands have before, Look strange whene'er I hear his name And ne'er pronounce it more! 3. The plait of hair I must resign, He, too, must yield that tress of mine, The miniature I used trace, And feel romantic o'er, I'll tear from its morocco case, 4. This ring, his gift, I must return, His sonnet, that my album graced, 5. I'll waltz and flirt with Ensign G- In short, I'll show my heart is free, If we should meet, his eye shall shrink Pshaw! that's his knock! here, John, I think LESSON XXXV. TIT FOR TAT-COQUETRY PUNISHED. ANONYMOUS. 1. ELLEN was fair, and knew it, too, As other village beauties do, Whose mirror: never lie; |