EPILOGUE TO THE GOOD NATUR'D MAN' 69
His simp'ring friends, with pleasure in their eyes,
Sink as he sinks, and as he rises rise;
He nods, they nod; he cringes, they grimace;
But not a soul will budge to give him place.
Since then, unhelp'd, our bard must now conform
'To 'bide the pelting of this pitiless storm '-
Blame where you must, be candid where you can;
And be each critic the Good Natur'd Man.
WHAT! five long acts-and all to make us wiser!
Our authoress sure has wanted an adviser.
Had she consulted me, she should have made
Her moral play a speaking masquerade ;
Warm'd up each bustling scene, and in her rage
Have emptied all the green-room on the stage.
My life on't, this had kept her play from sinking;
Have pleas'd our eyes, and sav'd the pain of thinking.
Well! since she thus has shown her want of skill,
What if I give a masquerade ?—I will.
But how? ay, there's the rub! (pausing)-I've got my
The world's a masquerade! the maskers, you, you, you. (To Boxes, Pit, and Gallery.)
what a group the motley scene discloses !
False wits, false wives, false virgins, and false spouses!
Statesmen with bridles on; and, close beside 'em,
Patriots, in party-coloured suits, that ride 'em.
There Hebes, turn'd of fifty, try once more
To raise a flame in Cupids of threescore.
These in their turn, with appetites as keen,
Deserting fifty, fasten on fifteen,
Miss, not yet full fifteen, with fire uncommon,
Flings down her sampler, and takes up the woman :
The little urchin smiles, and spreads her lure,
And tries to kill, ere she's got power to cure.
Thus 'tis with all-their chief and constant care
Is to seem everything but what they are.
Yon broad, bold, angry spark, I fix my eye on,
Who seems to have robb'd his vizor from the lion;
Who frowns, and talks, and swears, with round parade,
Looking, as who should say, D--! who's afraid? 30
Strip but his vizor off, and sure I am
You'll find his lionship a very lamb.
Yon politician, famous in debate,
Perhaps, to vulgar eyes, bestrides the state;
Yet, when he deigns his real shape t' assume,
He turns old woman, and bestrides a broom.
Yon patriot, too, who presses on your sight,
And seems to every gazer all in white,
If with a bribe his candour you attack,
He bows, turns round, and whip-the man's a black! 40 Yon critic, too-but whither do I run?
If I proceed, our bard will be undone !
Well then a truce, since she requests it too:
Do you spare her, and I'll for once spare you.
IN these bold times, when Learning's sons explore
The distant climate and the savage shore;
When wise Astronomers to India steer,
And quit for Venus, many a brighter here;
While Botanists, all cold to smiles and dimpling,
Forsake the fair, and patiently-go simpling ;
When every bosom swells with wond'rous scenes,
Priests, cannibals, and hoity-toity queens:
Our bard into the general spirit enters,
And fits his little frigate for adventures:
With Scythian stores, and trinkets deeply laden,
He this way steers his course, in hopes of trading-
Yet ere he lands he 'as ordered me before,
To make an observation on the shore.
Where are we driven? our reck'ning sure is lost!
This seems a barren and a dangerous coast.
what a sultry climate am I under!
Yon ill foreboding cloud seems big with thunder.
(Upper Gallery.) There Mangroves spread, and larger than I've seen 'em
Here trees of stately size-and turtles in 'em
Here ill-condition'd oranges abound
And apples (takes up one and tastes it), bitter apples
The place is uninhabited, I fear!
I heard a hissing-there are serpents here!
O there the natives are-a dreadful race!
The men have tails, the women paint the face!
No doubt they're all barbarians.-Yes, 'tis so,
I'll try to make palaver with them though;
'Tis best, however, keeping at a distance. Good Savages, our Captain craves assistance;
Our ship's well stor'd;-in yonder creek we've laid her; His honour is no mercenary trader;
This is his first adventure; lend him aid,
Or you may chance to spoil a thriving trade.
His goods, he hopes, are prime, and brought from far, 35 Equally fit for gallantry and war.
What! no reply to promises so ample?
I'd best step back-and order up a sample.
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