pleasure for his money. Here, again, is a very clever mode of raising the wind, worthy of Vidocq:

In our circle there was a great merchant, a millionnaire, who had a cotton factory, and carried on a roaring trade. We might try what we liked, but we could make nothing out of him. He kept his ears sharpened, if ever a man did. At times he asked us to tea, or cracked a bottle; but that was the whole profit. We thought for months how we should get this rogue of a merchant in the trap; but it was of no use, although everything was tried, even to cunning. Our man saw this, never moved a feature, and kept as calm as if he noticed nothing.

Now, can you believe it? One day I went with Iwan Petrowitch to an examination: a corpse had been found not far from the factory. So we drove past it, talking on the way of the difficulty in trapping the scamp. All at once Iwan became very thoughtful, and, as I placed great confidence in him, I thought, "He's got something in his head;" and, in fact, he had invented a grand scheme. The next morning we were sitting together, and trying to recover from our last night's drunk.

What do you say? Will you give me halves if the merchant pays up to you two thousand ?"

What do you mean, Iwan? You can't be in your senses! Two thousand ?"

"Well, you shall see.

Sit down and write :

"To the Merchant of the First Guild, Stepanow Tropkurow, at Iswienowogersk, charge: According to the evidence of such and such peasants, the above-described body was sunk in your pond last night, after being murderously dealt with. Hence you will allow us to inspect the pond for the purpose of verification.'

But, good gracious, Iwan Petrowitch, the body lies there in a cabin near the high road!"

Only do what I tell you."

Then he hummed his favourite air, and as he was sensitive, and this song always affected him, he began crying a little. Afterwards I learned that he had bidden the hundred-man conceal the body temporarily in a ravine. The obstinate man read our document, and almost fell in a fainting-fit. In the mean while we followed it up, and entered his court-yard. He came to meet us, quite pale.

"Would you take a glass of tea ?"

"What tea, brother ?" Iwan said. "We have nought to say about tea, but do you let the pond off."

"Have mercy, little father! Why do you wish to ruin me ?"

"Ruin you? Look ye! we have only come to make an investigation. We have orders."

One word brought on another: the merchant saw it was no jesting matter. "Will you have it so? Good. Then let the water off at once!" "Well! he paid up three thousand, and the matter was settled. After that, we drove round the pond, thrust hooks into the water, and naturally found no corpse. At dinner, though, when we were all drunk, what did Iwan Petrowitch? He told the merchant the whole story! and the miser, I assure you, grew so angry that he was unable to move. Yes, yes, sin and ingratitude is to be found in man.

This Iwan Petrowitch was a curiosity in his way, and surgeon of the circle: so, of course, he left no stone unturned to gain an honest penny. One of the most successful was to order a general vaccination of the children, which was a horror to the superstitious peasant women; so they paid up a rouble apiece to be let off. Of course many schemes were employed to catch him in the fact, but he managed to escape by his cleverOn one ocasion a recruit was planted on him, who offered a bribe to escape, while witnesses were placed to overhear the transaction; but

ness.

Iwan, assuming a stern tone, ordered him off at once to the army, had his head shaved, and would not listen to the protestations of his parents. The only sin this excellent man had on his conscience was, that he hurled a stranger into ruin. The matter was so characteristic that we must quote it:

As you are aware, gentlemen, our district is well covered with wood, and a great many people from other parts, chiefly Finns and Mongols, reside in it, a well-to-do and honest race. The only thing is, they are so uncleanly, whence so many foreign diseases are rife among them, that they are handed down from generation to generation. They kill a hare, for instance; they merely take the skin off, and thrust it in the pot just as it is; the kettle, too, is never cleaned; in short, the stench is unendurable; but they do not trouble themselves a bit about it, but eat with the best possible appetite. Such a race is hardly deserving of any polite attention, for it is stupid, ignorant, and dirty-a sort of hogs. Now, one of these foreigners went to shoot a squirrel, and was so clumsy at it that he wounded himself in the shoulder. An investigation was, of course, necessary, and the court decided in the case that it must be left to the will of God, and the peasant be handed over to the physician to be cured. Iwan Petrowitch received orders to proceed slowly-terribly slowly. All at once he remembered that the peasant was rich; so, after waiting three weeks, as some other business took him to those parts, he visited him on this occasion. In the mean while his shoulder had grown quite cured. He walked in and read him the authority. "Take off your coat," he said.

"Why, papa, my shoulder is quite well," the peasant replied-"five weeks ago." "But, do you see this here? Pagan, do you see this ukase? Don't you see the order to cure you?"

There was nothing to be done: the peasant stripped, and the other probed his shoulder heartily. The fool yelled for mercy, but the doctor only laughed and pointed to the paper. It was not till the peasant handed him three gold pieces that he left off.

"Now," he said, "God with thee!"

So soon as Iwan Petrowitch wanted money again, he went to the stranger's to cure him, and in this way he tortured him for more than a year, till he had quite cleaned him out. The peasant grew thin, ate nothing, drank nothing; the doctor sat on his soul. When the latter, however, remarked that the source was dried up, he no longer went out. The peasant recovered, and began to be jolly again. One day, however, a perfectly strange official drove through the village, and happened to ask how this fellow was (for he was known to many officers on account of his hospitality). This was told the peasant, and what do you think he did? He fancied that the doctor wanted to cure him again, ran home, said nothing to anybody, and hanged himself in the night.

Well may the author complain of these good old times being past! The police were no common cutpurses or thieves no! they were the real friends of the people. At present, they are forbidden to take bribes : it is just like finding a heap of money on the high road, and not picking it up. Ah, it all comes from the spread of enlightenment.

The town-captain at Krutogorsk was a terrible man-a goose with claws. His name was Feuer, and he was descended from a German stock. He had no perception for a joke, and when he ordered a thing it had to be done. He was the man to make a rope of sand, and strangle the culprit with it. This is the practical way in which he managed affairs when appointed to the town, and it certainly did him credit:

So soon as he was appointed, Feuer summoned all the manufacturers, and we had about fifty of them in the town.

"You used to pay the old man," he said to them, "ten roubles apiece, but

that is too little. I would spit on ten roubles. I must have seventy-five from every proprietor."

They wouldn't hear a word of it. "We have seen hundreds of such quilldrivers," they said.

He was just on the point of bursting out.

"Well," he said, "so you won't pay seventy-five apiece ?"

"Five," they shouted, "not a kopek more."

"Very good," he said.

A week later he went to inspect the shop of one of them, a tanner by trade. "The hides you have here, friend, are stolen property."

Stolen or not, the present owner would not tell whom he had them from. "Well," he said, "you wouldn't pay seventy-five, so now hand over five hundred."

The man almost fell on his knees, but a smaller sum would not do: the other would not hear of it. He sent him home with a hundred-man, and he fetched money under the idea that Feuer would be merciful, and take two hundred. But he only counted the money, and put it in his pocket. "Now go and fetch the other three hundred."

Once more the trader began to bow humbly, but in vain. swerve. And he did not let him go till he had paid every doit.

Feuer did not

The other fellows saw that matters were going queerly. They threw stones into his windows, poisoned his watch-dogs, smeared his doors with tar, but all of no use. Then they began to feel sorry, and came with excuses, and each with seventy-five roubles in his hand. But it was no go.

"No," he said, "you did not give the money when I asked for it, and, as matters stand, I demand nothing."

And he really did not take it. He openly declared that he should settle affairs more comfortably with each in detail.

The most interesting idea of the Russian official system will be found in a short history of the life and adventures of one Porphyrius Petrowitch. He was a man who had gained golden opinions from the whole population of Krutogorsk, and they lauded their good fortune in possessing so inestimable an official amid them. And yet he did not attain this enviable position without trouble. But his greatest merit was that he had never spotted his character by one queer action, as will be seen from the few incidents we are enabled to string together.

His papa was a village sexton, his mamma-well, sextoness, of course. Porphyrius was decidedly fortunate in possessing the latter parent, for through her he obtained the favour of a great man. He grew apace, and displayed remarkable qualities at school. His protector he kissed, and called pappy, but he could not endure the sight of his drunken old father. Indeed, he used to play him all sorts of tricks, to the great amusement of his mother. They lived, not exactly poorly, but untidily and dirtily. Parashka (the mother) had number of silk gowns, but hardly a decent chemise. She would go to the market and buy a rouble's worth of pastry when there was not a loaf in the house. In consequence of this, Porphyrius was often hungry enough, and generally went about, winter and summer, barefooted and in a torn sheepskin.

any

One day he found in the street a griwennick (ten kopeks); he picked it up and hid it. Another time his protector gave him one, which he also concealed. He took a pleasure in money, for at home nothing else was talked about. When his drunken father had slept off his vodki, he incessantly complained because he had no money; if the mother paid a visit to the benefactor, she also ever complained of want of money..

"A fine thing must money be!" Porphyrius thought; "and I only possess two griwennicks! Ah! if I had a whole chest full, I would build a hut and sell lollypops. When the schoolboys went past, I would say, 'Do not despise our goods, honoured gentlemen. Of course, as a stick of barley-sugar costs ten kopeks, you will pay me thirty kopeks for it.'

Soon after he began to indulge in little thefts. When his father, for instance, received his wages, he went straight to the public to pay his respects to the landlord. Thence he came home more drunk than vodki itself, fell on the bench and snored; whereupon Porphyrius crept up, emptied all his pockets, and hid the proceeds in the loft, wrapped in a piece of rag. Soon after, Parashka inspected her husband's pockets in her turn: "Where have you left your money?" But he could only twinkle his eyelids. Of course, a drunken man, what can you get out of him? He has either drunk it or lost it.

In his thirteenth year Porphyrius was sent into an office, not so much to write as to run to the nearest pot-house for vodki for the clerks. In this he was principally engaged, and it must be allowed that his life was not very jolly at that period; one pulled his hair, another poked him in the ribs; for any mistake blows rained on him directly; in such a place a fellow would sooner be dead. And for all this tyranny he received a rouble and a half in paper as wages.

Through his readiness and skill he gained the confidence of the captain to such an extent that he took him with him to criminal inquiries. On such occasions he displayed extraordinary qualities: the captain, for instance, could sleep the sleep of the righteous while Porphyrius settled the people off, received the thanks, and arranged everything properly. When he reached the age of twenty, the captain himself began to call him Porphyrius Petrowitch. The clerks, too, had long ago left off thrashing him, and, indeed, hardly dared to look him in the face. At the same time he established such regulations in the court, that even the governor, on inspecting the books, could not find a single defect, but drove off again.

One morning the captain of the circle was sitting at home drinking his tea, and feeling as jolly as possible. He was engaged with pleasant dreams-how the governor pressed his hand for his distinguished services, and promised to secure him promotion. But the dreams are dispelled by the entrance of Porphyrius Petrowitch :

"Welcome, welcome!" Demian Ivanowitch exclaims. "I was almost asleep, my dear friend, over delicious dreams. Have you any request to make ? -if so, speak."

"Yes, I have," Porphyrius Petrowitch replies, in some embarrassment. "What is it ?"

pay

is

"Well, it is that it no longer suits me to remain with The you. small, and I shall soon reach the first class. Such a position is not fitted to my talents."

"I am sorry to part with thee-really sorry. Little can be done, as thou knowest, without thy assistance. Well, if thou hast ambitious views, I am not angry with thee."

I am also sorry, very sorry, Demian Ivanowitch-for your sake, I feel sorry but that is not the point."

• In the addition of the father's name, "Peter's son," respect is indicated.

"What dost thou desire ?"

"Will you have the kindness to hand me two thousand roubles; not as a loan, but merely as a reward for my exertions ?"

I am curious to know why I owe thee this money."
Various documents are in our hands-

Demian Ivanowitch opened his mouth widely.

..

Documents! What documents ?" he yells. "What nonsense art thou talking to me, impudent fellow? Thou hast invented some swindle."

"There are several documents in existence, all of your handwriting. You granted me your confidence, and of course I could not destroy your notes, for that would have been indelicate, for you were my superior. Now, be kind enough to remember how a merchant killed a workman by misadventure; you wrote me a note, bidding me to settle matters. Do you fancy, Demian Ivanowitch, that a man would give up such documents under two thousand? It is of no use, I tell you at once. only do it out of respect for you, because you are my superior, and treated me kindly. Well, I have a heart, too."

The captain all but had a paralytic stroke. He sank back on the sofa, and did not rise again. Water was poured on his face, however, and he gradually recovered.

"God has punished me for my sins," he sighed; "that was the reason I nurtured such a viper."

"Really and truly, Demian Ivanowitch, a viper; but be good enough to remember that your sins are not trivial. On that occasion you let a murderer free, and brought an innocent man to the lash; and you have compromised me, a very lamb, in these matters. You see, then, that, looking rightly at it, two thousand are not dear, especially as all the documents are in evidence, as well as witnesses. I must tell you, though, that I require the two thousand absolutely. Judge for yourself: I am going to the governmental town; I wish to obtain a situation worthy of my talents; without recommendations nothing can be done, and these will have to be bought."

What was the result? Demian Ivanowitch gave him the money, and his curse in the bargain.

Armed with two thousand solid recommendations, Porphyrius dressed himself decently and went to the chief town. Here the governor deigned to remember his extraordinary attention in his old situation, and gave him an appointment, in which he distinguished himself by his miraculous honesty, and was a curse to all the office. Still, he fancied that he did not advance with sufficient rapidity, so he hit on a new plan. The governor had the fault of being terribly jealous of his cara sposa, and, of course, Porphyrius worked himself into her confidence. She soon revealed to him that she indulged in a sentimental attachment for the tutor of her children, and by degrees he induced her to entrust him with the letters that passed, in perfect innocence, between them. Armed with these, Porphyrius revealed all to the governor, who gave his wife a most tremendous thrashing, and placed unbounded confidence thenceforth in Porphyrius. Thus secured, the confidential clerk began to grow more indulgent, and the result was that, within ten years, Porphyrius was regarded as a man worth two hundred thousand roubles. But he never made the mistake of lowering himself; if a man wanted to bribe him, it always began with fresh caviare; and what followed was a mystery between himself and his host. But no one had to complain of breach of confidence; if Porphyrius took anything, he always kept his word, and was naturally on velvet. It might be an expensive luxury, still, the result was arrived at much more rapidly. No wonder that Porphyrius lived