150 Syl. Call you this chiding? AS YOU LIKE IT. Ros. Do you pity him? no, he deserves no pity.Wilt thou love such a woman?-What, to make thee an instrument, and play false strains upon thee! not to be endured!--Well, go your way to her, (for I see love hath made thee a tame snake,) and say this to her:that if she love me, I charge her to love thee: if she will not, I will never have her, unless thou entreat for her. If you be a true lover, hence, and not a word; for [Exit SYLVIUS. here comes more company. Enter OLIVER. Oli. Good-morrow, fair ones: pray you, if There's none within. Are not you Oli. If that an eye may profit by a tongue, Ros. I am: what must we understand by this? Cel. I pray you, tell it. Oli. When last the young Orlando parted from you, Within an hour; and, pacing through the forest, Lo, what befell! he threw his eye aside, And, mark, what object did present itself! Under an oak, whose boughs were moss'd with age, A wretched ragged man, o'ergrown with hair, Lay sleeping on his back: about his neck A green and gilded snake had wreath'd itself, Seeing Orlando, it unlink'd itself, A lioness, with udders all drawn dry, Lay couching, head on ground, with cat-like watch To prey on nothing that doth seem as dead: This seen, Orlando did approach the man, And found it was his brother, his elder brother. Cel. O, I have heard him speak of that same brother; And he did render him the most unnatural That lived 'mongst men. Oli. And well he might so do, For well I know he was unnatural. Ros. But to Orlando:-did he leave him there, Food to the suck'd and hungry lioness? Oli. Twice did he turn his back, and purposed so; But kindness, nobler ever than revenge, And nature, stronger than his just occasion, Made him give battle to the lioness, Who quickly fell before him; in which hurtling Cel. Are you his brother? Ros. Was it you he rescued? Cel. Was 't you that did so oft contrive to kill him? Oli. 'Twas Ï; but 'tis not I: I do not shame To tell you what I was, since my conversion So sweetly tastes, being the thing I am. Oli. By and by. When from the first to last, betwixt us two, In brief, he led me to the gentle duke, Who gave me fresh array and entertainment, There stripp'd himself, and here upon his arm Which all this while had bled; and now he fainted, And cried, in fainting, upon Rosalind. Brief, I recover'd him; bound up his wound; To tell this story, that you might excuse Oli. Many will swoon when they do look on blood. Ros. I would I were at home. Cel. We'll lead you thither. I pray you, will you take him by the arm? You lack a man's heart. Ros. I do so, I confess it. Ah, Sir, a body would think this was well counterfeited: I pray you, tell your brother how well I counterfeited.-Heigh ho! Oli. This was not counterfeit; there is too great testimony in your complexion, that it was a passion of earnest. Ros. Counterfeit, I assure you. Oli. Well then, take a good heart, and counterfeit to be a man. Ros. So I do: but, i' faith, I should have been a woman by right. Cel. Come, you look paler and paler; pray you, draw homewards.-Good Sir, go with us. Oli. That will 1, for I must bear answer back Ros. I shall devise something. But, I pray you, commend my counterfeiting to him:-Will you go? [Exeunt. a saying,-"The fool doth think he is wise, but the wise man knows himself to be a fool." The heathen philo sopher, when he had a desire to eat a grape, would open his lips when he put it into his mouth; meaning thereby, that grapes were made to eat, and lips to open. You do love this maid? Will. I do, Sir. Touch. Give me your hand. Art thou learned? Touch. Then learn this of me: to have, is to have; Touch. He, Sir, that must marry this woman. Therefore, you clown, abandon,-which is in the vulgar, leave, the society,-which in the boorish is, company, -of this female,-which in the common is, woman,which together is, abandon the society of this female; or, clown, thou perishest; or, to thy better understanding, diest; to wit, I kill thee, make thee away, translate thy life into death, thy liberty into bondage: I will deal in poison with thee, or in bastinado, or in steel; I will bandy with thee in faction; I will o'errun thee with policy; I will kill thee a hundred and fifty ways; therefore tremble, and depart. SCENE II.-The same. Enter ORLANDO and OLIVER. Orl. Is't possible, that on so little acquaintance you should like her? that, but seeing, you should love her? and, loving, woo? and, wooing, she should grant? and will you perséver to enjoy her? Oli. Neither call the giddiness of it in question, the poverty of her, the small acquaintance," my sudden wooing, nor her sudden consenting; but say with me, I love Aliena; say with her, that she loves me; consent with both, that we may enjoy each other: it shall be to your good; for my father's house, and all the revenue that was old Sir Rowland's, will I estate upon you, and here live and die a shepherd. Enter ROSALIND. Orl. It is my arm. Ros. I thought thy heart had been wounded with the claws of a lion. Orl. Wounded it is, but with the eyes of a lady. Ros. Did your brother tell you how I counterfeited to swoon, when he shewed me your handkerchief? Orl. Ay, and greater wonders than that. Ros. O, I know where you are:-nay, 'tis true: there was never anything so sudden, but the fight of two rams, and Cæsar's thrasonical brag of-"I came, saw, and overcame:" for your brother and my sister no sooner met, but they looked; no sooner looked, but they loved; no sooner loved, but they sighed; no sooner sighed, but they asked one another the reason; no sooner knew the reason, but they sought the remedy: and in these degrees have they made a pair of stairs to marriage, which they will climb incontinent, or else be incontinent before marriage: they are in the very wrath of love, and they will together; clubs cannot part them. Orl. They shall be married to-morrow; and I will bid the duke to the nuptial. But, O, how bitter a thing it is to look into happiness through another man's eyes! By so much the more shall I to-morrow be at the height of heart-heaviness, by how much I shall think my brother happy, in having what he wishes for. Ros. Why, then, to-morrow I cannot serve your turn for Rosalind? Orl. I can live no longer by thinking. Ros. I will weary you no longer, then, with idle talking. Know of me, then, (for now I speak to some purpose,) that I know you are a gentleman of good conceit: I speak not this, that you should bear a good opinion of my knowledge, insomuch I say I know you are; neither do I labour for a greater esteem than may in some little measure draw a belief from you, to do yourself good, and not to grace me. Believe, then, if you please, that I can do strange things: I have, since I was three years old, conversed with a magician, most profound in this art, and yet not damnable. If you do love Rosalind so near the heart as your gesture cries it out, when your brother marries Aliena, shall you marry her: I know into what straits of fortune she is driven; and it is not impossible to me, if it appear not inconvenient to you, to set her before your eyes tomorrow, human as she is, and without any danger. Orl. Speakest thou in sober meanings? Ros. By my life, I do; which I tender dearly, though I say I am a magician. Therefore, put you in your best array, bid your friends: for if you will be married tomorrow, you shall; and to Rosalind, if you will. Enter SYLVIUS and PHEBE. Look, here comes a lover of mine, and a lover of hers. Ros. I care not, if I have: it is my study Phe. Good shepherd, tell this youth what 'tis to love, Phe. And I for Ganymede. Syl. It is to be all made of faith and service;- Phe. And I for Ganymede. Syl. It is to be all made of fantasy, All made of passion, and all made of wishes, Phe. And so am I for Ganymede. Syl. If this be so, why blame you me to love you? [TO PHEBE. Orl. If this be so, why blame you me to love you? Ros. Whom do you speak to,-"why blame you me to love you?" Orl. To her that is not here, nor doth not hear. Ros. Pray you, no more of this; 'tis like the howling of Irish wolves against the moon.-I will help you, [To SYLVIUS,] if I can :-I would love you, [To PHEBE, if I could.-To-morrow meet me all together.-I will marry you, [To PHEBE,] if ever I marry woman, and I'll be married to-morrow:-I will satisfy you, [To ORLANDO,] if ever I satisfied man, and you shall be married to-morrow:-I will content you, [To SYLVIUS,] if what pleases you contents you, and you shall be married to-morrow. As you [TO ORLANDO] love Rosalind, meet; -as you [To SYLVIUS] love Phebe, meet; and as I love no woman, I'll meet.-So, fare you well; I have left you commands. Syl. I'll not fail, if I live. Phe. Nor I. IV. "And therefore take the present time, With a hey, and a ho, and a hey nonino; Touch. Truly, young gentlemen, though there was no great matter in the ditty, yet the note was very untuneable. 1 Page. You are deceived, Sir; we kept time, we lost not our time. Touch. By my troth, yes; I count it but time lost to hear such a foolish song. God be with you; and God mend your voices! Come, Audrey. [Exeunt. SCENE IV.-Another part of the Forest. Enter DUKE Senior, AMIENS, JAQUES, ORLANDO, OLIVER, and CELIA. Duke S. Dost thou believe, Orlando, that the boy Can do all this that he hath promised? Orl. I sometimes do believe, and sometimes do not; As those that fear they hope, and know they fear. Enter ROSALIND, SYLVIUS, and PHEBE. Ros. Patience once more, whiles our compact is urged: [To the DUKE.] You say, if I bring in your Rosalind, You will bestow her on Orlando here? [her. Duke S. That would I, had I kingdoms to give with Ros. [To ORLANDO.] And you say, you will have her when I bring her? Orl. That would I, were I of all kingdoms king. Phe. That will I, should I die the hour after. [if she will? Ros. [To SYLVIUS.] You say, that you'll have Phebe, Syl. Though to have her and death were both one thing. Ros. I have promised to make all this matter even. Keep you your word, O duke, to give your daughter;You yours, Orlando, to receive his daughter:Keep your word, Phebe, that you'll marry me; Or else, refusing me, to wed this shepherd:Keep your word, Sylvius, that you'll marry her, If she refuse me :-and from hence I go, To make these doubts all even. [Exeunt ROSALIND and CELIA. Duke S. I do remember in this shepherd-boy Some lively touches of my daughter's favour. Orl. My lord, the first time that I ever saw him, Enter TOUCHSTONE and AUDREY. Jaq. There is, sure, another flood toward, and these couples are coming to the ark! Here comes a pair of very strange beasts, which in all tongues are called fools. Touch. Salutation and greeting to you all! Jaq. Good my lord, bid him welcome: this is the motley-minded gentleman that I have so often met in the forest; he hath been a courtier, he swears. Touch. If any man doubt that, let him put me to my purgation. I have trod a measure; I have flattered a lady; I have been politic with my friend, smooth with mine enemy; I have undone three tailors; I have had four quarrels, and like to have fought one. Jaq. And how was that ta'en up? Touch 'Faith, we met, and found the quarrel was upon the seventh cause. Jaq. How seventh cause?-Good my lord, like this fellow. Duke S. I like him very well. Touch. God 'ild you, Sir; I desire you of the like. I press in here, Sir, amongst the rest of the country copulatives, to swear, and to forswear; according as marriage binds, and blood breaks:-a poor virgin, Sir, an ill-favoured thing, Sir, but mine own; a poor humour of mine, Sir, to take that that no man else will: rich honesty dwells like a miser, Sir, in a poor house; as your pearl in your foul oyster. Duke S. By my faith, he is very swift and sententious. Touch. According to the fool's bolt, Sir, and such dulcet diseases, Jaq. But for the seventh cause; how did you find the quarrel on the seventh cause? Touch. Upon a lie seven times removed;-bear your body more seeming, Audrey :-as thus, Sir. I did dis like the cut of a certain courtier's beard; he sent me word, if I said his beard was not cut well, he was in the mind it was: this is called the Retort courteous. If I sent him word again, it was not well cut, he would send me word, he cut it to please himself: this is called the Quip modest. If again, it was not well cut, he disabled my judgment: this is called the Reply churlish. If again, it was not well cut, he would answer, I spake not true: this is called the Reproof valiant. If again, it was not well cut, he would say I lie: this is called the Countercheck quarrelsome: and so to the Lie circumstantial, and the Lie direct. Jaq. And how oft did you say his beard was not well cut? Touch. I durst go no further than the Lie circumstantial, nor he durst not give me the Lie direct; and so we measured swords, and parted. Jaq. Can you nominate in order now the degrees of the lie? Touch. O Sir, we quarrel in print, by the book; as you have books for good manners: I will name you the degrees. The first, the Retort courteous; the second, the Quip modest; the third, the Reply churlish; the fourth, the Reproof valiant; the fifth, the Countercheck quarrelsome; the sixth, the Lie with circumstance; the seventh, the Lie direct. All these you may avoid, but the Lie direct; and you may avoid that too, with an "if." I knew when seven justices could not take up a quarrel; but when the parties were met themselves, one of them thought but of an "if," as "If you said so, then I said so ;" and they shook hands, and swore brothers. Your "if" is the only peacemaker; much virtue in "if." Jaq. Is not this a rare fellow, my lord? He's as good at anything, and yet a fool. Duke S. He uses his folly like a stalking-horse, and under the presentation of that he shoots his wit. Enter Hymen, leading ROSALIND in woman's Orl. If there be truth in sight, you are my Rosalind Phe. If sight and shape be true, Why then, my love, adieu! The : Ros. [To DUKE S.] I'll have no father, if you be not [TO ORLANDO.] I'll have no husband, if you be not he:[TO PHEBE.] Nor ne'er wed woman, if you be not she. Hym. Peace, ho! I bar confusion: 'Tis I must make conclusion Of these most strange events: If truth holds true contents. [TO ORLANDO and ROSALIND.] You and you no cross shall part: [TO OLIVER and CELIA.] You and you are [To PHEBE.] You to his love must accord, [TO TOUCHSTONE and AUDREY.] You and you As the winter to foul weather. "Wedding is great Juno's crown; O blessed bond of board and bed! Duke S. O my dear niece, welcome thou art to me; Even daughter, welcome in no less degree. Phe. [To SYLVIUS.] I will not eat my word, now thou Thy faith my fancy to thee doth combine. [art mine; Enter JAQUES DE BOIS. Jaq. de B. Let me have audience for a word or two; Duke S. Welcome, young man; That have endured shrewd days and nights with us, Play, music; and you, brides and bridegrooms all, Jaq. Sir, by your patience; if I heard you rightly, The duke hath put on a religious life, And thrown into neglect the pompous court? Jaq. To him will I: out of these convertites Ros. It is not the fashion to see the lady the epilogue: but it is no more unhandsome, than to see the lord the prologue. If it be true, that "good wine needs no bush," 'tis true, that a good play needs no epilogue: yet to good wine they do use good bushes; and good plays prove the better by the help of good epilogues. What a case am I in then, that am neither a good epilogue, nor can insinuate with you in the behalf of a good play? I am not furnished like a beggar, therefore to beg will not become me: my way is, to conjure you; and I'll begin with the women. I charge you, O women, for the love you bear to men, to like as much of this play as please them: and so I charge you, O men, for the love you bear to women, (as I perceive by your simpering, none of you hate them,) that between you and the women, the play may please. If I were a woman, I would kiss as many of you as had beards that pleased me, complexions that liked me, and breaths that I defied not: and, I am sure, as many as have good beards, or good faces, or sweet breaths, will, for my kind offer, when I make my curt'sy, bid me farewell. [Exeunt. LUCENTIO, Son to VINCENTIO, in love with BIANCA. PETRUCHIO, a Gentleman of VERONA, a Suitor to KATHARINA. GREMIO, HORTENSIO, Suitors to BIANCA. TRANIO, BIONDELLO, S GRUMIO, Servants to LUCENTIO. Servants to PETRUCHIO. Pedant, an old Fellow set up to personate VINCEXTIO. KATHARINA, the Shrew, Daughters to BAFTISTA. BIANCA, her Sister, Widow. Tailor, Haberdasher, and Servants attending on SCENE,-Sometimes in PADUA; and sometimes in PETRUCHIO'S House in the Country. CHARACTERS IN THE INDUCTION To the original Play of "The Taming of a Shrew," entered on the Stationers' books in 1594, and printed in quarto in 1607. AURELIUS, his Son, FERANDO, Suitors to the Daughters of ALPHONSUS. POLIDOR, KATE, EMELIA, PHYLEMA, Daughters to ALPHONSUS. Tailor, Haberdasher, and Servants to FERANDO and ALPHONSUS. SCENE, ATHENS; and sometimes FERANDO's Country House. INDUCTION. SCENE I.-Before an Alehouse on a Heath. Sly. I'll pheese you, in faith. Host. I know my remedy, I must go fetch the thirdborough. [Exit. Sly. Third, or fourth, or fifth borough, I'll answer him by law: I'll not budge an inch, boy; let him come, and kindly. [Lies down on the ground, and falls asleep. Wind horns. Enter a Lord from hunting, with Huntsmen and Servants. Lord. Huntsman, I charge thee, tender well my Brach Merriman, -the poor cur is emboss'd; [hounds: And couple Clowder with the deep-mouth'd brach. Saw'st thou not, boy, how Silver made it good At the hedge corner, in the coldest fault? I would not lose the dog for twenty pound. 1 Hun. Why, Belman is as good as he, my lord; Lord. Thou art a fool; if Echo were as fleet, 1 Hun. Believe me, lord, I think he cannot choose. 2 Hun. It would seem strange unto him when he waked. Lord. Even as a flattering dream, or worthless fancy. And say,-Will't please your lordship cool your hands? If it be husbanded with modesty. 1 Hun. My lord, I warrant you we'll play our part, As he shall think, by our true diligence, He is no less than what we say he is. [Some bear out SLY. A trumpet sounds. Sirrah, go see what trumpet 'tis that sounds:[Exit Servant, Belike, some noble gentleman, that means, Travelling some journey, to repose him here.Re-enter a Servant. How now? who is it? Serv. An it please your honour, Players that offer service to your lordship. Lord. Bid them come near. 1 |