Predictions for 1906

[The extraordinary success of our Predictions for 1905 has encouraged us thus early to publish our prophesies for 1906. With further acknowledgments to Old More.] JANUARY.-An Anti-Library Society will be formed

during this month, and as this will consist of people who are tired of having books thrust upon them, its membership will be larger than that of any other club in the world. A dagger, engraved with the words "Death to the Tyrant," will be found on the desk of the Manager of the Times, and will cause some jealousy among other providers of books.

FEBRUARY.-The General Elections will be held, and every care will be taken not to infringe the copyright held by the Daily Mail in this direction. As a result of these, the Prime Minister will no longer be an expert golfer, and the Imperial outlook

will be a gloomy one. MARCH.-Grave apprehensions will be caused throughout the country by the increasing shortage of Army officers, but the decision of the Secretary for War to start Missing Treasure Competitions for officers only will put a different complexion upon the matter. Some resentment will be caused by the issue of an Army Order calling upon officials of the War Office to submit themselves to mental examination; yet the results will be gratifying.

APRIL.-Ladies' spring

hats will be of such

who will have every reason for suspecting that the object of the conspirators is to sell the eleventh edition of a well-known "Encyclopædia" The Volunteers will be called out, and for some time there will be a panic among those who have resolved not to have this work at any price. AUGUST.-Several attempts to knit more closely the bonds of the Entente Cordiale will be made, and both at Margate and at Trouville Municipal Councillors, representing England and France, will bathe together, holding on to the same rope. SEPTEMBER.-Some heavy bags of grouse will be made on hired moors, and other evidences of a great awakening of the national conscience will be forthcoming.

an altitude that balloonists will be employed to linger about the upper air of London to see that they are on straight.

MAY.-Several passengers will be observed, towards

the end of this month, shyly stepping on board the L.C.C. steamers. The engagement of two Royal personages will be announced, and it will turn out to be quite a romantic affair. JUNE.-The rapprochement between Church and Stage

will be signalised by the production of several plays by clergymen, in which the authors will take the leading parts. First night audiences of parishioners will be enthusiastic, especially if no collections are made.

JULY. An extraordinary conspiracy, with extensive ramifications, will be discovered by the police,

OCTOBER. The revival of Rugby Football will be completed, and any referees who attempt to draw attention to fouls on the part of winning teams will be promptly suppressed. In order that proper attention may be paid to this great game, many large factories will close down altogether for four months. NOVEMBER. The value of Bishops as advertising mediums will be so completely understood by this date, that no publishing house will be satisfied without having its Bishop on the staff. This will

necessitate the ap pointment of a good

many Suffragans.

DECEMBER.

The Un

employed Question will again crop authors, and music

up, and leading actors, hall artistes, will give their views on how to solve the problem. An offer made by delegates from the unemployed themselves to enter any branch of the Civil Service that may be selected will be refused on the ground that any competition in State offices is to be deprecated.

(ur Chris mas Number

Next week's issue will be a Double Number. Its price, however, will be Single (i.e. Sixpence), and its contents Singular, i.e. bright, cheery, helpful, soothing, and not altogether unseasonable. Stories by Mark Twain, Leonard Merrick, Harold Macfarlane, A. and M. Fischer, etc. Drawings by famous artists, and the usual features which have made THE BYSTANDER SO universally popular.

The Cabinet Crisis

It will not be a matter of many weeks before No. 10, Downing Street, and its neighbour, No. 11, will be getting ready for new occupants, for it is practically certain that Mr. Balfour's innings is closed. The Prime Minister's house in that rather depressing thoroughfare is not the most desirable residence in London, and we fancy that, once the wrench is over, he may congratulate himself on having at last turned that gloomy heap of bricks over to--but we anticipate. The speculation as to what right honourable gentlemen or noble lords will Occupy it in the course of, say, the next few years is full of interesting uncertainty. But we may at least feel fairly sure that not one of them will ever give an Opposition such a magnificent run for its money as Mr. Balfour has done. Mr. Chamberlain, they say, has split the Unionist Party; but, judging from the way things went at the Newcastle

Photo by

Conference, his action might better be described as chipping off a few flakes of that scarce mineral, Balfourite, from the rock of TariffReforming Unionism. We can never thank him enough, at any rate, for having made politics lively after too many stagnant years. Whatever happens in the next Parliament, there will certainly be plenty of fun; though the Liberal Government (which it is quite settled that we shall have) will probably not see anything very humorous in it. What with Lord Rosebery's refusal to follow the Home Rule "banner," and its Bannerman, the Nonconformists, and Labour, their prospect of a peaceful and agreeable time among themselves is not too clear; and with Mr. Chamberlain leading the attack, the prospect of a hot time in the Party warfare is certain. Truly, No. 10, Downing Street is unlikely to prove a bower of bliss for its

next tenant.

HUNTLEY WRIGHT Montague Sibsey

The step from musical comedy to comedy without music (or farce) is a momentous one, for the reason that the carping fraternity are on the qui vive for the musical comedy manner (whatever that may be). It is commonly supposed that the songs in a musical comedy are mainly responsible for the success of a part. This opinion does not give the comedian his due. After the notable successes achieved by recruits from the lyric to the rather more legitimate stage I adopt the adverb from the story of the country vicar who, being offered preferment not quite up to the Very Rev. standard, suggested as a compromise the Rather Rev. after this toll of success, it would appear as if the comedian and comedienne had made the songs rather than been made by them. This view is strengthened by the credit with which the stars of musical comedy acquit themselves without the aid of songs. Mr. Huntley Wright, the latest recruit from the lyric stage, if he has not covered himself with quite the glory of his predecessors, has at least achieved very considerable success. He skates over potential music cues without any signs of being at fault.

It

The Mountain Climber belongs to a type which of late we have rather missed. might be labelled frank farce. It is preposterously ludicrous and ludicrously preposterous. If you do not laugh at the horseplay in which the characters indulge on every available occasion, if you can remain apathetic, for instance, when two table-cloths are piled on to a table to make a photographic background of Alpine scenery, then you have lost the supreme faculty of giving way and owning yourself beaten by the frankly idiotic. The tempo of the play is nearly right; it might

THEATRE

Mr. Ernest Cosham As an editor in a rather hilarious condition

Scala Theatre "MRS. GRUNDY" The startling discovery that a play is not necessarily a dramatised homily upon love and marriage. has not put the good oldfashioned domestic play quite out of court. Many plays not labelled such are domestic. The adjective is no more alluring when applied to plays than to persons. Jones can find no possible grounds for offence at being termed a domesticated man, but there are many quite respectable members of the great Jones' family who would inwardly prefer being put down as rather a high flyer. So it argues distinct courage on the part of Madeleine Lucette Ryley to classify her play in such wise that the most we can expect of it is that it will flow peacefully by like an English river, occasionally forming deep pools of tenderness, but never boiling into cataracts of excitement. Mrs. Grundy reminds us of those verbose sententious leading articles upon the text, mens sana in corpore sano, which occasionally appear in the great penny daily papers when nothing much is stirring. Their purport is to recall to us, gently, the real bearing of the "playing fields of Eton upon our history. This species of article can no more be criticised than can Mrs. Grundy.

LOTTIE
VENNE

"BABY"