there's fympathy: you are merry, fo am I; ha! ha! then there's more fympathy; you love fuck, and fo do I; would you defire better fympathy? let it fuffice thee, miftrefs Page, at the least if the love of a foldier can fuffice, that I love thee. I will not fay, pity me, 'tis not a foldier-like phrafe; but I fay, love me: By me, thine own true Knight, By day or night, Or any kind of light, John Falstaff. What a Herod of Jewry is this? O wicked, wicked world! one that is well nigh worn to pieces with age, to show himself a young gallant! what unweigh'd behaviour hath this Flemish drunkard pickt, i'th' devil's name, out of my converfation, that he dares in this manner essay me? why, he hath not been thrice in my company: what fhould I fay to him?—I was then frugal of my mirth-heav'n forgive me-Why, I'll exhibit a Bill in the Parliament for the putting down 6 I was then frugal of my mirth, &c.] By breaking this fpeech into exclamations, the text may ftand; but I once thought it must be read, If I was not then frugal of my mirth. 7 a bill in the Parliament for the putting down of Men:-] What, Mrs. Page, put down the whole Species Unius ob noxam, for a fingle Offender's Trefpafs? Don't be fo unreasonable in your Anger. But 'tis a falfe Charge againit You. I am perfuaded, a fhort Monofyllable is dropt out, which, once reftor'd, would qualify the Matter. We must ne of ceffarily read, for the putting down of fat Men. -Mrs. Ford fays in the very enfuing Scene, I shall think the worfe of fat Men, as long as I have an Eye, &c. And in the old Quarto's, Mrs. Page, fo foon as fhe has read the Letter, fays, Well, I fhall trujt fat Men the worfe, while I live, for his fake: And he is call'd, the fat Knight, the greafy Knight, by the Women, throughout the Play. THEOBALD. I'll exhibit a Bill in Parliament for putting down of MEN :] Mr. Theobald fays, we muft neceffarily read, for putting down of fat men. of men: how fhall I be reveng'd on him? for reveng'd I will be, as fure as his guts are made of puddings. SCENE II. Enter Mrs. Ford. Mrs. Ford. Mrs. Page, trust me, I was going to your houfe. Mrs. Page. And truft me, I was coming to you; you look very ill. Mrs. Ford. Nay, I'll ne'er believe that; I have to fhew to the contrary. Mrs. Page. 'Faith, but you do, in my mind. Mrs. Ford. Well, I do then; yet I fay, I could men. But how is the matter mended or the thought made lefs ridiculous? Shakespeare wrote, for the putting down of MUM, i. e. the fattening liquor fo called. So Fletcher in his Wild goofe chafe: What a cold I have over my ftomach, would I had fome MUM This is truly humorous, and agrees with the character the had juft before given him of Flemish drunkard. But the greateft confirmation of this conjecture is the allufion the words, in queftion, bear to a matter then publickly tranfacting. The Merry Wives of Windfor appears to have been wrote in 1601, or very fhortly after. And we are informed by Sir Simon D'Ewes' Journal, that no home affair made more noife in and out of parliament at that time, than the fuppreffion and regulation of taverns, inns, ale-houses, ftrong liquors, and the drinkers of them. In the Parliament Leld 1597, a bill was brought into both houfes, For fuppreffing the multitude of Maltflers, &c. Another, To refrain the exceffive making of Malt, and diforderly brewing of fireng beer. Another, For regulation of Inns, Taverns, &c. In the next Parliament, held 1601, was a bill, For the fuppreffing of the multitude of Alebeufes and Tipling heufes. Another, Against exceffive and common drunkennefs; and feveral others of the fame nature. Some of which, after much canvaffing, were thrown out, and others paffed into Acts. WARBURT. I do not fee that any alteration is neceffary, if it were, either of the foregoing conjectures might ferve the turn. But furely Mrs. Page may naturally enough, in the first heat of her anger, rail at the fex for the fault of one. fhew fhew you to the contrary: O mistress Page, give me fome counfel. Mrs. Page. What's the matter, woman? Mrs. Ford. O woman! if it were not for one trifling refpect, I could come to fuch honour. Mrs. Page. Hang the trifle, woman, take the honour; what is it? difpenfe with trifles; what is it? Mrs. Ford. If I would but go to hell for an eternal moment, or fo, I could be knighted. Mrs. Page. What?-thou lieft!-Sir Alice Ford!thefe Knights will hack, and fo thou shouldft not alter the article of thy gentry. Mrs. Ford. We burn day-light-here, read —read perceive how I might be knighted-I fhall think the worse of fat men, as long as I have an eye to make difference of men's liking; and yet he would not fwear; prais'd women's modefty; and give fuch orderly and well-behaved reproof to all uncomeliness, that I would have fworn his difpofition would have 8 What, thou lieft! Sir Alice Ford! thefe Knights will HACK, and fo thou shouldft not alter the article of thy gentry.] The unintelligible nonfenfe of this fpeech is hardly to be matched. The change of a fingle letter has occafioned it, which is thus eafily removed. Read and point,Thefe Knights will LACK, and fo thou shouldft not alter the article of thy gentry. The other had faid, I could be knighted, meaning, I could have a Knight for my lover; her companion took it in the other fenfe, of conferring the title, and fays, What, thou left! Sir Alice Ford! thefe Knights will lack a title, [i. e. risk the punishment of degradation] rather than not make a whore of thee. For we are to obferve that and f gone to the truth of his words; but they do no more adhere, and keep place together, than the hundredth Pfalm to the tune of Green Sleeves. What tempeft, I trow, threw this whale, with fo many ton of oil in his belly, a'shore at Windfor? how fhall I be reveng'd on him? I think, the best way were to entertain him with hope, 'till the wicked fire of luft have melted him in his own greafe- Did you ever hear the like? Mrs. Page. Letter for letter, but that the name of Page and Ford differs. To thy great comfort in this mytery of ill opinions, here's the twin brother of thy letter; but let thine inherit first, for, I proteft, mine never fhall. I warrant he hath a thoufand of these letters, writ with blank-fpace for different names ; Day, more; and thefe are of the fecond edition; he will print them out of doubt, for he cares not what he puts into the prefs, when he would put us two. I had rather be a giantess, and lye under mount Pelion. Well, I will find you twenty lafcivious turtles, ere one chafte man. * Mrs. Ford, Why, this is the very fame, the very hand, the very words; what doth he think of us? Mrs. Page. Nay, I know not; it makes me almost ready to wrangle with mine own honefty. I'll entertain myself like one that I am not acquainted withal; for, fure, unlefs he knew fome Stain in me, that I know not myself, he would never have boarded me in this fury. Mrs. Ford. Boarding, call it you? I'll be fure to keep him above deck. Mrs. Page. So will I; if he come under my hatches, I'll never to fea again. Let's be reveng'd on him; let's appoint him a meeting, give him a fhow of comfort in his fuit, and lead him on with a fine baited delay, till he hath pawn'd his horfes to mine Hoft of the Garter. • Prefs is ufed ambiguously, for a prefs to print, and a prefs to fqueeze. Mrs. Mrs. Ford. Nay, I will confent to act any villainy against him, that may not fully the charinefs of our honesty. Oh, that my husband faw this letter! it would give him eternal food to his jealoufy. Mrs. Page. Why, look, where he comes, and my good man too; he's as far from jealousy, as I am from giving him caufe; and that, I hope, is an unmeafurable distance. Mrs. Ford. You are the happier woman. Mrs. Page. Let's confult together against this greasy Knight. Come hither. [They retire. Enter Ford with Piftol, Page with Nym. Ford. Well, I hope, it be not fo. Pift. Hope is a curtail-dog in fome affairs. Sir John affects thy wife. Ford. Why, Sir, my wife is not young. Pift. He wooes both high and low, both rich and poor. Both young and old, one with another, Ford; Pift. With liver burning hot: prevent, or go thou, like Sir Acteon, he, with Ring-wood at thy heelsO, odious is the name. Ford. What name, Sir? Pift. The horn, I fay: farewel. Take heed, have open eye; for thieves do foot by night. Take heed ere fummer comes, or cuckoo-birds affright. Away, Sir corporal Nym. curtail-dog] That is, a dog that miffes his game. The tail is counted neceffary to the agility of a greyhound, and one method of qualifying a dog according to the foreft laws, is to Be |