66 REASON THE FIFTH. "I pity him because it is necessary that I should place him on the shelf during Lord S-'s visit, for fear S- should be discouraged by appearances, and not make the declaration which I have been so long expecting." Place me on the shelf!! "REASON THE SIXTH. "I pity him, because if S-really comes forward, I shall be obliged to submit poor dear M- to the mortification of a dismissal ” !!! 66 REASON THE SEVENTH. "I pity him, because he is so extremely kind and obliging in quitting the room whenever his presence becomes troublesome.” !!!! "REASON THE EIGHTH. "I pity him, because his great confidence in my affection makes him appear so ridiculous, and because S- laughs at him." !!!!! "REASON THE NINTH. "I pity him, because, if I do ultimately marry him, S— will tell every body that it is only because I could not obtain the barouche and four-Heigh-heigh ho!" !!!!!! "REASON THE TENTH. "I pity him, because he has so kindly consented to meet me on my return from the charity-school, without once suspecting that I go to give S-a last opportunity. He is really a very good young —Ah, well-a-day!"— man And ah, well-a-day !!!!!! &c. &c.-Let no man henceforth endeavour to enjoy the luxury of his mistress's secret thoughts. I closed the book, and walked to the window. The river flowed temptingly beneath. Would it be best to drown myself or shoot myself? Or would it be best to take horse after the barouche, and shoot Lord S-? I was puzzled with the alternatives. It was absolutely necessary that somebody should be put to death, but my confusion was too great to decide upon the victim. At this critical juncture of my fate, when I was wavering between the gallows and "a grave where four roads meet," Lady Barbara came dancing in, to request my assistance upon her drawing. She was petrified at my suicidal appearance, and, indeed, seemed in doubt whether the act of immolation had not been already effected. Her fears rushed in crimson to her cheeks, as she inquired the cause of my disorder; and her beauty and the interesting concern she expressed, cast an entire new light upon me. would be revenged on Lady Betty in a manner far more cutting than either drowning or shooting. Barbara was the prettiest by far -Barbara was the best by infinity. Sweet, simple gentle Barbara! How generously had she sacrificed her feelings, and given me up to her sister! How happy was I to have it in my power to reward her for it! She now should be the partner of my declining years, the soother of my cares, the mother of my children; and as for Lady Betty, I renounced her. I found that my heart had all along been Barbara's, and I congratulated myself upon being brought to my senses. The business was soon opened, and we were all eloquence and blushes. I expressed my warm admiration of her self-denial and affection for her sister; hinted at my knowledge of her sentiments for myself; explained every particular of my passion, prospects, anu genealogy, fixed upon our place of residence, and allotted her pinmoney. It was now Barbara's turn. "She was confused-she was distressed-she feared-she hoped-she knew not what to say." She paused for composure, and I waited in an ecstasy--" Why,” I exclaimed," why will you hesitate, my own, my gentle Barbara? Let me not lose one delicious word of this heavenly confession." Barbara regained her courage. "Indeed, then-indeed, and indeedI have been engaged to my cousin for more than three years!" This was a stroke upon which I had never once calculated, and my astonishment was awful. Barbara then was not in love with me after all, and the concern which I had felt for her blighted affections was altogether erroneous! I had made the proposal to be revenged on Lady Betty, and my disappointment had completely turned the tables upon me. Instead of bringing her to shame, I was ashamed of myself, and my mortification made me feel as though she had heaped a new injury upon me. What 1 said upon the occasion, I cannot precisely remember, and if I could, I doubt whether my reader would be able to make head or tail of it. I concluded, however, with my compliments to the lady-mother, and an urgent necessity to decamp. Barbara knew not whether she ought to laugh or to cry. I gave her no time to recover herself, for Betty would be home presently, and it was material to be off before they had an opportunity of comparing notes. In three minutes I was mounted on my horse, and again ruminating on the various advantages of hanging, drowning, and shooting. I thought I had got clear off; but at the end of the lawn I was fated to encounter the bewitching smile of Lady Betty, on her return from the village. Her words were brimming with tenderness, and her delight to be rid of that odious Lord S- —was beyond measure. It had quite restored her health, she was able to recommence her rides, and would order the donkey to be got ready immediately. 1 So then, it appeared that the drive to the charity school had not answered the purpose after all, and I was to be the locum tenens of Lady Betty's affections till the arrival of a new acquaintance. know not whether my constitution is different from that of other people. A pretty face is certainly a terrible criterion of a man's resolution; but for the honour of manhood, I contrived for once to be superior to its fascinations. To adhere strictly to truth, I must confess, however humiliating the confession may be, that this dignified behaviour was very materially sustained by the transactions with Lady Barbara, for the consequence of whose communications there was no answering. I declined the donkey ride, looked a most explanatory look of reproach, and declared my necessity of returning to town. Lady Betty was amazed-remonstrated-entreated— looked like an angel-and finally put her handkerchief to her eyes. There was no standing this—" I go," said I, "I go, because it is proper to quit whenever my presence becomes troublesome-I will not oblige you to put me on the shelf-I will not be too encroaching upon your temperate regard-Heigh-heigh-ho!" With that I plunged my spurs into my steed, and vanished at full gallop. It was long before I heard anything more of Oakenshade or its inhabitants. In the middle of the following December I received a piece of wedding-cake from the gentle Barbara, and in the same packet a letter from Lady Betty. She had written instead of mamma, who was troubled with a gouty affection in the hand. She spoke much (and I have no doubt sincerely) of the cruel separation from her sister. Touched feelingly upon the happiness of the time I had spent at Oakenshade, and trusted she might venture to claim a week of me at Christmas. She was truly sorry that she had no inducement to hold out beyond the satisfaction of communicating happiness, which she knew was always a paramount feeling with me. She was all alone, and wretched in the long evenings when mamma went to sleep; and reverted plaintively and prettily to the little study and the ghost stories. As for the lilac pocket-book, she had cast up her follies and misdemeanours, and found the total, even before the end of the year, so full of shame and repentance, that she had incontinently thrown it into the fire, trusting to my kindness to give her another with fresh advice. Dear Lady Betty! my resentment was long gone by-I had long felt a conviction that her little follies were blameless and not at all uncommon; and I vow, that had her happiness depended upon me, I would have done anything to insure it. I was obliged, however, to send an excuse for the present, for I had only been married a week. CANADIAN BOAT-SONG. (FROM THE GAELIC.) Listen to me, as when ye heard our father Listen to me, and then in chorus gather CHORUS. Fair these broad meads-these hoary woods are grand; From the lone shieling of the misty island And we in dreams behold the Hebrides: Fair these broad meads-these hoary woods are grand; We ne'er shall tread the fancy-haunted valley, Where 'tween the dark hills creeps the small clear stream, In arms around the patriarch banner rally, Nor see the moon on royal tombstones gleam: Fair these broad meads-these hoary woods are grand; When the bold kindred, in the time long-vanish'd, Fair these broad meads-these hoary woods are grand; Come foreign rage-let Discord burst in slaughter! Fair these broad meads-these hoary woods are grand; G THE YELLOW DOMINO. In the latter part of the reign of Louis XV. of France, the masquerade was an entertainment in high estimation, and was often given, at an immense cost, on court days, and such occasions of rejoicing. As persons of all ranks might gain admission to these spectacles, provided they could afford the purchase of the ticket, very strange rencontres frequently took place at them, and exhibitions almost as curious, in the way of disguise or assumption of character. But perhaps the most whimsical among the genuine surprises recorded at any of these spectacles, was that which occurred in Paris the 15th of October, on the day when the Dauphin (son of Louis XV.) attained the age of one-and-twenty. At this fete, which was of a peculiarly glittering character-so much so, that the details of it are given at great length by the historians of the day-the strange demeanour of a man in a yellow domino, early in the evening, excited attention. This mask, who showed nothing remarkable as to figure-though tall rather, and of robust proportion-seemed to be gifted with an appetite, not merely past human conception, but passing the fancies even of romance. The dragon of old, who churches ate he was but a nibbler-a mere fool-to this stranger of the yellow domino. He passed from chamber to chamber-from table to table of refreshments-not tasting but devouring-devastating-all before him. At one board, he despatched a fowl, two-thirds of a ham, and half a dozen bottles of champagne; and, the very next moment, he was found seated in another apartment, performing the same feat, with a stomach better than at first. This strange course went on until the company (who at first had been amused by it) became alarmed and tumultuous. "Is it the same mask-or are there several dressed alike?" demanded an officer of guards, as the yellow domino rose from a seat opposite to him and quitted the apartment. "I have seen but one-and, by Heaven, here he is again," exclaimed the party to whom the query was addressed. The yellow domino spoke not a word, but proceeded straight to the vacant seat which he had just left, and again commenced supping, as though he had fasted for the half of a campaign. At length the confusion which this proceeding created, became universal; and the cause reached the ear of the Dauphin. |