RETALIATION: † A POE M. OF old, when Scarron his companions invited, Each gueft brought his difh, and the feast was united : If our (1)landlord fupplies us with beef and with fish, Let each gueft bring himself, and he brings the best dish : Our (2) Dean shall be venison, just fresh from the plains; Our (3) Burke fhall be tongue with a garnish of brains; Our † Dr. Goldsmith' and some of his friends occafionally dined at the St. James's coffee-house-One day it was proposed to write epitaphs on him. His country, dialect and perfon, furnished subjects of witticifm. He was called on for RETALIATION, and at their next meeting produced this Poem. (1) The mafter of the St. James's coffee-house where the doctor, and the friends he has characterized in this poem, occafionally dined. (2) Doctor Barnard, dean of Derry in Ireland. (3) Mr. Edmund Burke, member for Wendover. Our (4) Will shall be wild-fowl, of excellent flavour, And (5) Dick with his pepper fhall heighten their favour: Our (6) Cumberland's fweet bread, its place fhall obtain, And (7) Douglas is pudding substantial and plain : To make out the dinner, full certain I am, That (9) Ridge is anchovy, and (1) Reynolds is lamb; That (2) Hickey's a capon, and, by the fame rule, Magnanimous GOLDSMITH, a goofberry fool. At a dinner fo various, at fuch a repast, Who'd not be a glutton, and stick to the last ? Here, (4) Mr. William Burke, late fecretary to general Conway, and member for Bedwin (5) Mr. Richard Burke, colle&or of Grenada. (6) Mr. Richard Cumberland, author of the Weft-Indian, Fashionable Lover, the Brothers and other dramatic pieces. (7) Dr. Douglas, canon of Windfor, an ingenious Scotch gentleman, who has no lefs diftinguished himself as a Citizen of the World, than a found critic, in detecting feveral literary mistakes (or rather FORGERIES) of his Countrymen; particularly Lauder on Milton, and Bower's Hiftory of the Popes. (8) David Garrick, Efq; joint patentee and acting manager of the Theatre Royal, Drury-lane. (9) Counsellor John Ridge, a gentleman belonging to the Irish bar: (1) Sir Joshua Reynolds, President of the Royal Academy. (2) An eminent Attorney. Here, waiter, more wine, let me fit while I'm able, 'Till all my companions fink under the table; Then, with chaos and blunders encircling my head, Let me ponder, and tell what I think of the dead. Here lies the good (3) Dean, reunited to earth, Who mixt reafon with pleasure, and wisdom with mirth : If he had any faults, he has left us in doubt, Here lies our good (4) Edmund, whofe genius was fuch, We scarcely can praise it, or blame it too much; Who, born for the univerfe, narrow'd his mind, And to party gave up what was meant for mankind. Tho' fraught with all learning, yet straining his throat, To perfuade (5) Tommy Townshend to lend him a vote; Who, too deep for his hearers, ftill went on refining, And thought of convincing, while they thought of dining; Tho' equal to all things, for all things unfit, (3) Vide page 69 (4) Vide page 69. (5) Mr. T, Townshend, member for Whitechurch. For For a patriot too cool; for a drudge, disobedient; And too fond of the right, to pursue the expedient. In fhort, 'twas his fate, unemploy'd, or in place, fir, To eat mutton cold, and cut blocks with a razor. Here lies honest (6) William, whose heart was a mint, While the owner ne'er knew half the good that was in't ; The pupil of impulse, it forc'd him along, Here lies honeft Richard whose fate I must figh at; (6) Vide page 70. (7) Mr. Richard Burke, vide page 70. This gentleman having slightly fractured one of his arms and legs, at different times, the doctor has rallied him on thofe accidents, as a kind of retributive juftice for breaking his jefts upon other people. But, miffing his mirth and agreeable vein, Here (8) Cumberland lies, having acted his parts, The Terence of England, the mender of hearts; To draw men as they ought to be, not as they are. His fools have their follies fo loft in a crowd Here (9) Douglas retires from his toils to relax, The fcourge of impoftors, the terror of quacks: Come, all ye quack bards, and ye quacking divines, Come, and dance on the spot where your tyrant reclines: When (8) Vide page 70. K |