Pist. And I to Page shall eke unfold,
How Falstaff, varlet vile,

His dove will prove, his gold will hold,
And his soft couch defle.

Nym. My humour shall not cool: I will incense Ford to deal with poison; I will possess him with yellowness, for the revolt of mien is dangerous: that is my true humour.

Pist. Thou art the Mars of malcontents: I second thee; troop on. [Exeunt.

SCENE IV.-A Room in Dr. Caius's House.
Enter Mrs. Quickly, Simple, and Rugby.
Quick. What: John Rugby -I pray thee, go to
the casement, and see if you can see my master,
master Doctor Caius, coming: if he do, i' faith, and
find any body in the house, here will be an old
abusing of God's patience and the king's English.
Rug. I'll go watch.
Exit Rugby.
Quick. Go; and we'll have a posset for 't soon at
night, in faith, at the latter end of a sea-coal fire.
An honest, willing, kind fellow, as ever servant shall
come in house withal; and, I warrant you, no tell-
tale, nor no breed-bate: his worst fault is that he
is given to prayer; he is something peevish that
way; but nobody but has his fault-but let that
pass. Peter Simple you say your name is?
Sim. Ay, for fault of a better.

Quick. And master Slender 's your master?
Sim. Ay, forsooth.

Quick. Does he not wear a great round beard, like
a glover's paring knife?

Sim. No, forsooth: he hath but a little wee face,
with a little yellow beard; a cane-coloured beard.
Quick. A softly-sprighted man, is he not?
Sim. Ay, forsooth: but he is as tall a man of his
hands as any is between this and his head; he hath
fought with a warrener.

Quick. How say you?-O, I should remember him:
Does he not hold up his head, as it were? and strut
in his gait?

Sim. Yes, indeed, does he.

Quick. Well, heaven send Anne Page no worse fortune! Tell master parson Evans I will do what I can for your master: Anne is a good girl, and

wish

Re-enter Rugby.

I

Rug. Out, alas! here comes my master. Quick. We shall all be shent: Run in here, good young man; go into this closet. [Shuts Simple in the closet.] He will not stay long.-What, John Rugby! John, what John, I say! Go, John, go inquire for thy master; I doubt he be not well, that he comes not home:-and down, down, adown-a, &c. [Sings. Enter Doctor Caius. Caius. Vat is you sing? I do not like dese toys; Pray you, go and vetch me in my closet un boitier verd; a box, a green-a box; Do intend vat I speak? a green-a box.

[Aside.

Quick. Ay, forsooth, I'll fetch it you. I am glad he
went not in himself: if he had found the young
man, he would have been horn-mad.
Caius. Fe, fe, fe, fe! ma foi, il fait fort chaud.
Je m'en vais à la Cour,-la grande affaire.
Quick. Is it this, sir?

Caius, Ouy; mette le au mon pocket; Depeche
quickly:-Vere is dat knave Rugby?
Quick. What, John Rugby! John!
Rug. Here, sir.

Caius. You are John Rugby, and you are Jack
Rugby: Come, take-a your rapier, and come after
my heel to de court.

Rug. "T is ready, sir, here in the porch. Caius. By my trot, I tarry too long;-Od's me! Qu'ay j'oublié? dere is some simples in my closet dat I vill not for the varld I shall leave behind. Quick. Ah me! he 'll find the young man there, and be mad!

33

Quick. The young man is an honest man.
Caius. Vat shall de honest man do in my closet?
dere is no honest man dat shall come in my closet.
the truth of it: He came of an errand to me from
Quick. I beseech you, be not so flegmatick; hear
parson Hugh.
Caius. Vell.

Sim. Ay, forsooth, to desire her to-
Quick. Peace, I pray you.

Caius. Peace-a your tongue !-Speak-a your tale.
Sim. To desire this honest gentlewoman, your
maid, to speak a good word to Mrs. Anne Page for
my master, in the way of marriage.
Quick. This is all, indeed, la; but I'll ne'er put
my finger in the fire, and need not.
Caius. Sir Hugh send-a you?-Rugby, baillez me
some paper: Tarry you a little-a while. [Writes.
Quick. I am glad he is so quiet: if he had been
thoroughly moved you should have heard him so
loud and so melancholy. But notwithstanding,
man, I'll do your master what good I can: and the
very yea and the no is, the French doctor, my mas-
ter,-I may call him my master, look you, for I
keep his house; and I wash, wring, brew, bake,
scour, dress meat and drink, make the beds, and do
all myself:-

Sim. T is a great charge to come under one body's hand.

Quick. Are you avis'd o' that? you shall find it a great charge: and to be up early and down late ;but notwithstanding, (to tell you in your ear; I would have no words of it ;) my master himself is in love with mistress Anne Page: but notwithstanding that, I know Anne's mind,-that 's neither here nor there.

Caius. You jack'nape; give-a dis letter to sir Hugh; by gar, it is a challenge: I vill cut his troat in de park; and I vill teach a scurvy jack-a-nape priest to meddle or make :-you may be gone; it is not good you tarry here:-by gar, I vill cut all his two stones; by gar, he shall not have a stone to trow at his dog. [Exit Simple.

Quick. Alas, he speaks but for his friend. Caius. It is no matter-a for dat:-do not you tell-a me dat I shall have Anne Page for myself?-by gar, I vill kill de Jack Priest; and I have appointed mine host of de Farterre to measure our weapon: -by gar, I vill myself have Anne Page.

well: we must give folks leave to prate: What, the Quick. Sir, the maid loves you, and all shall be good-jer!

Caius. Rugby, come to de court vid me:--By gar, if I have not Anne Page, I shall turn your head out of my door :-Follow my heels, Rugby. [Exeunt Caius and Rugby. Quick. You shall have An fools-head of your own. No, I know Anne's mind for that: never a woman in Windsor knows more of Anne's mind than I do : nor can do more than I do with her, I thank heaven. Fent. [Within.] Who 's within there? ho! Quick. Who 's there, I trow? house, I pray you.

Come near the

Enter Fenton. Fent. How now, good woman; how dost thou? Quick. The better that it pleases your good wor ship to ask. Fent. What news? how does pretty mistress [Anne? Quick. In truth, sir, and she is pretty, and honest, and gentle; and one that is your friend, I can tell you that by the way; I praise heaven for it. Fent. Shall I do any good, think'st thou? Shall I not lose my suit?

Quick. Troth, sir, all is in his hands above: but notwithstanding, master Fenton, I'll be sworn on a book, she loves you:-Have not your worship a wart above your eye?

Fent. Yes, marry, have I; what of that? Quick. Well, thereby hangs a tale ;-good faith, it is such another Nan;-but, I detest an honest maid Caius. O diable, diable! vat is in my closet?-as ever broke bread;-We had an hour's talk of Villainy! larron! [Pulling Simple out.] Rugby, that wart:-I shall never laugh but in that maid's my rapier.

Quick. Good master, be content.

Caius, Verefore shall I be content-a?

*

C

company! But, indeed, she is given too much to allicholly and musing: But for you-Well, go to. Fent. Well, I shall see her to-day; Hold, there's

D

money for thee; let me have thy voice in my be- | Page and Ford differs -To thy great comfort in half: if thou seest her before me, commend me. Quick. Will I? i' faith, that we will; and I will tell your worship more of the wart, the next time we have confidence; and of other wooers. Fent. Well, farewell; I am in great haste now.

warrant you, in silk and gold; and in such alligant terms; and in such wine and sugar of the best, and Host. Here, boys, here, here! shall we wag? the fairest, that would have won any woman's heart; Fage. Have with you:-I had rather hear them and, I warrant you, they could never get an eyescold than fight. [Exeunt Host, Shallow, and Page. wink of her.-I had myself twenty angels given me Ferd. Though Page be a secure fool, and stands this morning; but I defy all angels, (in any such sort, so firmly on his wife's frailty, yet I cannot put off as they say,) but in the way of honesty and, I my opinion so easily: She was in his company at warrant you, they could never get her so much as Page's house; and, what they made there I know sip on a cup with the proudest of them all: and yet Well, I will look further into 't: and I have a there has been earls, nay, which is more, pensioners; isguise to sound Falstaff: If I find her honest, I but, I warrant you, all is one with her. ise not my labour; if she be otherwise, 't is labour Fal. But what says she to me? be brief, my good well bestowed. [Exit.she Mercury.

Quick. Marry, she hath received your letter; for the which she thanks you a thousand times: and she gives you to notify, that her husband will be absence from his house between ten and eleven.

Fal. Ten and eleven?

Quick. Ay, forsooth; and then you may come and see the picture, she says, that you wot of; master Ford, her husband, will be from home. Alas! the sweet woman leads an ill life with him; he's a very jealousy man she leads a very frampold life with him, good heart.

Fal. Ten and eleven: Woman, commend me to her; I will not fail her.

Quick. Why you say well: But I have another messenger to your worship: Mistress Page hath her hearty commendations to you too ;-and let me tell you in your ear, she's as fartuous a civil modest wife, and one (I tell you) that will not miss you morning nor evening prayer, as any is in Windsor, whoe'er be the other and she bade me tell your worship that her husband is seldom from home; but, she hopes, there will come a time. I never knew a woman so dote upon a man; surely, I think you have charms, la; yes, in truth.

Fal. Not I, I assure thee; setting the attraction of
my good parts aside I have no other charms.
Quick. Blessing on your heart for 't.

Fal. But, I pray thee, tell me this: has Ford's
wife and Page's wife acquainted each other how they

love me?

Quick. That were a jest, indeed!-they have not so little grace, I hope that were a trick, indeed! But mistress Page would desire you to send her your little page, of all loves: her husband has a marvellous infection to the little page; and, truly, master Page is an honest man. Never a wife in Windsor leads a better life than she does: do what she will, say what she will, take all, pay all, go to bed when she list, rise when she list, all is as she will; and, truly, she deserves it: for if there be a kind woman in Windsor, she is one. You must send her your page; no remedy.

Fal. Why, I will.

Quick. Nay, but do so then: and, look you, he may come and go between you both; and, in any case, have a nay-word, that you may know one another's mind, and the boy never need to understand any thing; for 't is not good that children should know any wickedness; old folks, you know, have discretion, as they say, and know the world.

Fal. Fare thee well: commend me to them both: there's my purse; I am yet thy debtor.-Boy, go along with this woman.- This news distracts me. [Exeunt Quickly and Robin.

Fal. Good master Brook, I desire more acquaint-
ance of you.
Ford. Good sir John, I sue for yours: not to charge
you; for I must let you understand I think myself in
better plight for a lender than you are: the which
hath something emboldened me to this unseasoned
intrusion: for they say, if money go before all ways
do lie open.
Fal. Moncy is a good soldier, sir, and will on.
Ford. Troth, and I have a bag of money here
troubles me: if you will help to bear it, sir John,
take all, or half, for easing me of the carriage.
Fal. Sir, I know not how I may deserve to be your
porter.
[hearing.

Ford. I will tell you, sir, if you will give me the
Fal. Speak, good master Brook; I shall be glad to
be your servant.
Ford. Sir, I hear you are a scholar,-I will be brief
with you, and you have been a man long known to
me, though I had never so good means, as desire,
to make myself acquainted with you. I shall dis-
cover a thing to you, wherein I must very much lay
open mine own imperfection: but, good sir John, as
you have one eye upon my follies, as you hear them
unfolded, turn another into the register of your own;
that I may pass with a reproof the easier, sith you
yourself know how easy it is to be such an offender.
Fal. Very well, sir; proceed.

Ford. There is a gentlewoman in this town, her
husband's name is Ford.
Fal. Well, sir.

Ford. I have long loved her, and I protest to you, bestowed much on her; followed her with a doting observance; engrossed opportunities to meet her; fee'd every slight occasion that could but niggardly give me sight of her; not only bought many presents to give her, but have given largely to many, to know what she would have given: briefly, I have pursued her as love hath pursued me, which hath been on the wing of all occasions. But whatsoever I have merited, either in my mind, or in my means, meed, I am sure, I have received none; unless experience be a jewel; that I have purchased at an infinite rate; and that hath taught me to say this: Love like a shadow flies, when substance love pursues;

Pursuing that that flies, and flying what pursues. Fal. Have you received no promise of satisfaction at her hands?

Ford. Never.

Fal. Have you importuned her to such a purpose?
Ford. Never.

Fal. Of what quality was your love then?
Ford. Like a fair house built on another man's
ground; so that I have lost my edifice, by mistaking
the place where I erected it."
(me?

Pist. This punk is one of Cupid's carriers:-
Clap on more sails; pursue, up with your fights;
Give fire; she is my prize, or ocean whelm them all! Fal. To what purpose have you unfolded this to
[Exit Pistol. Ford. When I have told you that I have told you
Fal. Say'st thou so, old Jack? go thy ways; I'll all. Some say, that, though she appear honest to
make more of thy old body than I have done. Will me, yet, in other places,she enlargeth her mirth so
they yet look after thee? Wilt thou, after the ex- far that there is shrewd construction made of her.
pense of so much money, be now a gainer? Good Now, sir John, here is the heart of my purpose:
body, I thank thee: Let them say, 't is grossly done; You are a gentleman of excellent breeding, admir-
so it be fairly done no matter.

Enter Bardolph.

Bard. Sir John, there's one master Brook below would fain speak with you, and be acquainted with you; and hath sent your worship a morning's draught

of sack.

Fal. Brook is his name?
Bard. Ay, sir.

Fal. Call him in; [Exit Bardolph.] Such Brooks are welcome to me that o'erflow such liquor. Ah! ha mistress Ford and mistress Page, have I encompassed you? go to; via!

Re-enter Bardolph, with Ford disguised. Ford. Bless you, sir.

Fal. And you, sir: Would you speak with me?
Ford. I make bold to press with so little prepar-
ation upon you.

Fal. You 're welcome. What s your will? Give
us leave, drawer.
[Exit Bardolph.
Ford. Sir, I am a gentleman that have spent much;
my name is Brook.

able discourse, of great admittance, authentic in
your place and person, generally allowed for your
many war-like, court-like, and learned preparations.
Ford. Believe it, for you know it:-There is
Fal. O, sir!
money: spend it, spend it; spend more; spend all
I have; only give me so much of your time in ex-
change of it, as to lay an amiable siege to the
honesty of this Ford's wife: use your art of wooing,
win her to consent to you; if any man may you may
as soon as any.

Fal. Would it apply well to the vehemency of
your affection, that I should win what you would
enjoy? Methinks, you prescribe to yourself very
preposterously.

Ford. O, understand my drift! she dwells so securely on the excellency of her honour, that the folly of my soul dares not present itself; she is too bright to be looked against. Now, could I come to her with any detection in my hand, my desires had instance and argument to commend themselves: I could drive her then from the ward of her purity,

her reputation her marriage vow, and a thousand] other her defences, which now are too too strongly embattled against me: What say you to 't, sir John? Fal. Master Brook, I will first make bold with your money; next, give me your hand; and last, as I am a gentleman, you shall, if you will, enjoy Ford's wife.

Fora. O good sir!
Fal. I say you shall.

[none. Ford. Want no money, sir John, you shall want Fal. Want no mistress Ford, master Brook, you shall want none. I shall be with her, (I may tell you,) by her own appointment; even as you came in to me, her assistant, or go-between, parted from me: I say, I shall be with her between ten and eleven; for at that time the jealous rascally knave, her husband, will be forth. Come you to me at night; you shall know how I speed.

Shal. Save you, master doctor Caius. Page. Now, good master doctor. Slen. Give you good-morrow, sir. Caius. Vat be all you, one, two, tree, four, come for? Host. To see thee fight, to see thee foin, to see thee traverse, to see thee here, to see thee there; to see thee pass thy punto, thy stock, thy reverse, thy distance, thy montánt. Is he dead, my Ethiopian? is he dead, my Francisco? ha, bully! What says my Esculapius? my Galen? my heart of elder? ha! is he dead, bully Štale? is he dead? Caius. By gar, he is de coward Jack priest of de vorld; he is not show his face. Host. Thou art a Castilian, king Urinal! Hector of Greece, my boy! Caius. I pray you, bear vitness that me have stay six or seven, two, tree hours for him, and he is no come. Shal. He is the wiser man, master doctor: he is a curer of souls and you a curer of bodies; if you should fight, you go against the hair of your professions; is it not true, master Page? Page. Master Shallow, you have yourself been a great fighter, though now a man of peace. Shal. Bodykins, master Page, though I now be old, and of the peace, if I see a sword out my finger itches to make one: though we are justices, and doctors, and churchmen, master Page, we have Fal. Hang him, mechanical salt-butter rogue! I some salt of our youth in us; we are the sons of will stare him out of his wits; I will awe him with women, master Page. my cudgel: it shall hang like a meteor o'er the Page. T is true, master Shallow. cuckold's horns: master Brook, thou shalt know I Shal. It will be found so, master Page. Master will predominate over the peasant, and thou shalt doctor Caius, I am come to fetch you home. I am lie with his wife.-Come to me soon at night:- sworn of the peace; you have showed yourself a Ford's a knave, and I will aggravate his stile; thou, wise physician, and sir Hugh hath shown himself a master Brook, shalt know him for knave and cuck-wise and patient churchman: you must go with me, old:-come to me soon at night. [Exit. master doctor.

Ford. I am blest in your acquaintance. Do you know Ford, sir?

Fal. Hang him poor cuckoldly knave! I know him not-yet I wrong him to call him poor; they say the jealous wittolly knave hath masses of money; for the which his wife seems to me well-favoured. I will use her as the key of the cuckoldly rogue's coffer; and there 's my harvest-home.

Ford. I would you knew Ford, sir; that you might avoid him if you saw him.

Ford. What a damned Epicurean rascal is this!
My heart is ready to crack with impatience.-Who
says, this is improvident jealousy? My wife hath
sent to him, the hour is fixed, the match is made.
Would any man have thought this?-See the hell of
having a false woman! My bed shall be abused, my
coffers ransacked, my reputation gnawn at; and I
shall not only receive this villainous wrong, but stand
under the adoption of abominable terms, and by him
that does me this wrong. Terms! names!-Amaimon
sounds well; Lucifer, well; Barbason, well; yet they
are devils' additions, the names of fiends! but cuck-
old! wittol-cuckold! the devil himself hath not such
a name. Page is an ass, a secure ass! he will trust
his wife, he will not be jealous; I will rather trust a
Fleming with my butter, parson Hugh the Welch-
man with my cheese, an Irishman with my aqua-vitæ
bottle, or a thief to walk my ambling gelding, than
my wife with herself: then she plots, then she
ruminates, then she devises; and what they think
in their hearts they may effect they will break their
hearts but they will effect. Heaven be praised for
my jealousy!-Eleven o'clock the hour.-I will pre-
vent this, detect my wife, be revenged on Falstaff,
and laugh at Page. I will about it; better three
hours too soon than a minute too late. Fie, fie, fie!
cuckold! cuckold! cuckold!
[Exit.

SCENE III.-Field near Windsor.
Enter Caius and Rugby.
Rug. Sir.

mised to meet.

Caius. Jack Rugby!
Caius. Vat is de clock, Jack?
Rug. T is past the hour, sir, that sir Hugh pro-
Caius. By gar, he has save his soul, dat he is no
come; he has pray his Pible vell, dat he is no come:
bygar, Jack Rugby, he is dead already if he be come.
Rug. He is wise, sir; he knew your worship would
kill him if he came.

Caius. By gar, de herring is no dead so as I vill
kill him. Take your rapier, Jack; I vill tell you how
1 vill kill him.

Rug. Alas, sir, I cannot fence.
Caius. Villainy, take your rapier.
Rug. Forbear; here's company.

Enter Host, Shallow, Slender, and Page.
Host. 'Bless thee, bully doctor.

Host. Pardon, guest justice:-ah, monsieur Mockwater.

Cains. Mock-vater! vat is dat? Host, Mock-water, in our English tongue, is valour, bully.

Caius. By gar, then I have as much mock-vater as de Englishman:-Scurvy jack-dog priest! by gar, me vill cut his ears.

Host. He will clapper-claw thee tightly, bully.
Caius. Clapper-de-claw! vat is dat?
Host. That is, he will make thee amends.
Cains. By gar, me do look he shall clapper-de-claw
me; for, by gar, me vill have it.
Host. And I will provoke him to 't, or let him wag.
Caius. Me tank you for dat.
Host. And moreover, bully,-But, first, master
guest, and master Page, and eke cavalero Slender,
go you through the town to Frogmore.

I

[Aside to them.

Page. Sir Hugh is there, is he?
Host. He is there: see what humour he is in; and
will bring the doctor about by the fields: will it do
Shal. We will do it.
[well?
Page, Shal, and Slen. Adieu, good master doctor.
[Exeunt Page, Shallow, and Slender.
Cains. By gar, me vill kill de priest; for he speak
for a jack-an-ape to Anne Page.
Host. Let him die: sheath thy impatience; throw
cold water on thy choler: go about the fields with
me through Frogmore; I will bring thee where
mistress Anne Page is, at a farm-house, a feasting:
and thou shalt woo her: Cry'd game? said I well?
love you; and I shall procure-a you de good guest,
Cains. By gar, me tank you for dat: by gar, I
de earl, de knight, de lords, de gentlemen, my
patients.

Host. For the which I will be thy adversary toward
Anne Page; said I well?

Caius. By gar, 't is good; vell said.
Host. Let us wag then.

Caius. Come at iny heels, Jack Rugby. [Exeunt.

ACT III.

SCENE I.-A Field near Frogmore.
Enter Sir Hugh Evans and Simple.

Eva. I pray you now, good master Slender's
serving-man, and friend Simple by your name,