Though ne'er so black, say they have angels' faces. Duke. But, she I mean is promis'd by her friends Unto a youthful gentleman of worth; That no man hath access by day to her. Val. Why then I would resort to her by night. Duke. Ay, but the doors be lock'd, and keys kept Without apparent hazard of his life. Val. Why then, a ladder, quaintly made of cords, So bold Leander would adventure it. [that. Duke. Now, as thou art a gentleman of blood, Val. It will be light, my lord, that you may bear it Duke. A cloak as long as thine will serve the turn! Then let me see thy cloak: I'll get me one of such another length. Val. Why, any cloak will serve the turn, my lord. 1 Il be so bold to break the seal for once. [Reads. And slaves they are to me, that send them flying: thy pure bosom rest them; While I, their king, that thither them importune, bless'd them, Because myself do want my servants' fortune: What's here? [be. Val. No Valentine, if Silvia have forsworn me!What is your news? Laun. Sir, there's a proclamation that you are vanish'd. Pro. That thou art banish'd. O, that's the news; up (Which, unrevers'd, stands in effectual force,) When she for thy repeal was suppliant, And with thy daring folly burn the world? That to close prison he commanded her, Go, base intruder! over-weening slave! Bestow thy fawning smiles on equal mates; Wilt thou reach stars, because they shine on thee? With many bitter threats of 'biding there. [speak'st And think my patience, more than thy desert, Is privilege for thy departure hence: Thank me for this, more than for all the favours, Will give thee time to leave our royal court, But, as thou lov'st thy life, make speed from hence. ner, Val. And why not death, rather than living torment? Val. No more; unless the next word that thou Val. I pray thee, Launce, and if thou seest my boy, [Exeunt Valentine and Proteus. Laun. I am but a fool, look you; and yet I have the wit to think my master is a kind of a knave: but that's all one, if he be but one knave. He lives not now that knows me to be in love: yet I am in love; that I 'll keep shut: now of another thing she may; but a team of horse shall not pluck that from me; and that cannot I help? Well, proceed. nor who 't is I love, and yet 't is a woman: but what Speed. Item, She hath more hair than wit, and woman, I will not tell myself; and yet 't is a milkmaid; yet 't is not a maid, for she hath had gossips: yet 't is a maid, for she is her master's maid, and serves for wages. She hath more qualities than a water-spaniel, which is much in a bare-christian. Here is the cate-log [Pulling out a paper] of her conditions. Imprimis, She can fetch and carry. Why, a horse can do no more: nay, a horse cannot fetch, but only carry; therefore is she better than a jade. Item, She can milk; look you, a sweet virtue in a maid with clean hands. more faults than hairs, and more wealth than faults. Laun. Stop there; I'll have her she was mine, and not mine, twice or thrice in that last article: Rehearse that once more. Enter Speed. Speed. How now, signior Launce? what news with Laun. With my master's ship? why it is at sea. What news then in your paper? Laun. The blackest news that ever thou heard'st. Speed. Why, man, how black? Laun. Why, as black as ink. Speed. Let me read them. Laun. Fye on thee, jolt-head; thou canst not read. Laun. I will try thee tell me this: Who begot Spoed. Marry, the son of my grandfather. Laun. O illiterate loiterer! it was the son of thy grandmother: this proves, that thou canst not read. Speed. Come, fool, come try me in thy paper. Laun. Ay, that she can. Speed. Item, She brews good ale. Laun. And thereof comes the proverb,-Blessing of your heart, you brew good ale. Speed. Item, She hath more hair than wit, Laun. More hair than wit, it may be; I 'll prove it; The cover of the salt hides the salt, and therefore it is more than the salt; the hair that covers the wit, is more than the wit; for the greater hides the less. What's next? Speed. And more faults than hairs, Laun. That's monstrous: O, that that were out! Laun. Why, that word makes the faults gracious: Speed. What then? Laun. Why, then will I tell thee,-that thy master stays for thee at the north gate. Speed. For me? Speed. Item, She can sew. Laun. That's as much as to say, can she so? Speed. Item, She can knit. SCENE II.-Milan. A Room in the Duke's Palace. [you, Laun. What need a man care for a stock with a Duke. This weak impress of love is as a figure wench, when she can knit him a stock. Trenched in ice; which with an hour's heat Speed. Item, She can wash and scour. Dissolves to water, and doth lose his form. washed and scoured. Speed. She can spin. And worthless Valentine shall be forgot.- Laun. A special virtue; for then she need not be A little time will melt her frozen thoughts, Laun. Then I may set the world on wheels, when she can spin for her living. Speed. Item, She hath many nameless virtues. Laun. That's as much as to say, bastard virtues; that, indeed, know not their fathers, and therefore have no names. Speed. Here follow her vices. Laun. Close at the heels of her virtues. Speed. Item, She is not to be kissed fasting, in respect of her breath. Laun. Well, that fault may be mended, with a breakfast: Read on. Speed. Item, She hath a sweet mouth. Laun. That makes amends for her sour breath. Speed. Item, She doth talk in her sleep. Pro. Gone, my good lord. Duke. My daughter takes his going grievously. (For thou hast shown some sign of good desert,) Pro. Longer than I prove loyal to your grace, Duke. Thou know'st, how willingly I would effect Duke. And also, I think, thou art not ignorant Laun. It's no matter for that, so she sleep not in Pro. She did, my lord, when Valentine was here. Duke. Ay, and perversely she persevers so. Laun. Out with that too; it was Eve's legacy, Pro. Ay, if his enemy deliver it: Laun. I care not for that neither, because I love Duke. Then you must undertake to slander him. It follows not that she will love sir Thurio. Thu. Therefore, as you unwind her love from him, Without false vantage, or base treachery. She shall not long continue love to him. But say, this weed her love from Valentine, Val. For that which now torments me to rehearse: I kill'd a man, whose death I much repent; But yet I slew him manfully in fight, Lest it should ravel, and be good to none, You must provide to bottom it on me; 1 Out. Why, ne'er repent it, if it were done so: But were you banish'd for so small a fault? Which must be done, by praising me as much As you in worth dispraise sir Valentine. Val. I was, and held me glad of such a doom. 1 Out. Have you the tongues? For she is lumpish, heavy, melancholy, Duke. And, Proteus, we dare trust you in this And, for your friend's sake, will be glad of you; For Orpheus' lute was strung with poet's sinews; Forsake unsounded deeps to dance on sands. Visit by night your lady's chamber-window, With some sweet consort to their instruments Tune a deploring dump; the night's dead silence Will well become such sweet-complaining grievance. This, or else nothing, will inherit her. Duke. This discipline shows thou hast been in love. Thu. And thy advice this night I'll put in prac tice. Val. My youthful travel therein made me happy; Or else I often had been miserable. 3 Out. By the bare scalp of Robin Hood's fat friar This fellow were a king for our wild faction. 1 Out. We'll have him; sirs, a word. Speed. Master, be one of them; It is an honourable kind of thievery. Val. Peace, villain! 2 Out. Tell us this: Have you anything to take to? Val. Nothing, but my fortune. 3 Out. Know then, that some of us are gentlemen, 2 Out. Indeed, because you are a banish'd man, And live, as we do, in this wilderness? SCENE II.-Milan. Court of the Palace. Pro. Already have I been false to Valentine, 1 Out. Fellows, stand fast; I see a passenger. 2 Out. If there be ten, shrink not, but down with And now I must be as unjust to Thurio. Under the colour of commending him, Enter Thurio and Musicians. [staid, Thu. Who? Silvia? Pro. Thu. Ay, Silvia, for your sake. I thank you for your own. Now, gentlemen, Let 's tune, and to it lustily awhile. did lend her, Holy, fair, and wise is she, To help him of his blindness; To her let us garlands bring. Host. How now? are you sadder than you were before? How do you, man; the music likes you not. Jul. You mistake; the musician likes me not. Host. Why, my pretty youth? Jul. He plays false, father. Host. How? out of tune on the strings? Jul. Not so; but yet so false that he grieves my very heart-strings. Host. You have a quick ear. Ful. Ay, I would I were deaf! it makes me have a slow heart. Host. I perceive, you delight not in music. Jul. Not a whit, when it jars so. Host. Hark, what fine change is in the music! Jul. Ay; that change is the spite. Host. You would have them always play but one thing. Jul. I would always have one play but one thing. But, host, doth this sir Proteus, that we talk on, Often resort unto this gentlewoman? Host. I tell you what Launce, his man, told me, he loved her out of all nick. Pro. I likewise hear that Valentine is dead. Pro. Sweet lady, let me rake it from the earth. Ful. He heard not that. [Aside. Pro. Madam, if your heart be so obdurate, And to your shadow will I make true love. Ful. If 't were a substance, you would, sure, de ceive it, And make it but a shadow, as I am. Sil. I am very loth to be your idol, sir; [A side. But, since your falsehood shall become you well To worship shadows, and adore false shapes, Send to me in the morning, and I 'll send it: And so, good rest. Pro. As wretches have o'er-night, That wait for execution in the morn. [Exeunt Proteus; and Silvia, from above. Jul. Host, will you go? Host. By my halidom, I was fast asleep. Host. Marry, at my house: Trust me, I think, 't is almost day. Jul. Not so; but it hath been the longest night That e'er I watched, and the most heaviest. Egl. Your servant, and your friend; One that attends your ladyship's command. According to your ladyship's impose, I am thus early come, to know what service Upon whose grave thou vow'dst pure chastity. Sil. Sir Proteus, as I take it. Pro. Sir Proteus, gentle lady, and your servant. Sil. What is your will? To Mantua, where, I hear, he makes abode; Pro. That I may compass yours. Upon whose faith and honour I repose. Sil. You have your wish; my will is even this, Urge not my father's anger, Eglamour, That presently you hie you home to bed. Thou subtle, perjur'd, false, disloyal man! Think'st thou, I am so shallow, so conceitless, To be seduced by thy flattery, That hast deceiv'd so many with thy vows? Return, return, and make thy love amends, For me,-by this pale queen of night I swear, I am so so far from granting thy request, SCENE IV. - The same. Enter Launce, with his dog. Pro. Why dost thou cry, alas! Jul. I cannot choose but pity her. Pro. Wherefore should'st thou pity her? Jul. Because, methinks, that she lov'd you as well As you do love your lady Silvia: She dreams on him that has forgot her love, When a man's servant shall play the cur with him, look you, it goes hard: one that I brought up of a puppy; one that I saved from drowning, when three or four of his blind brothers and sisters went to it! You dote on her that cares not for your love. I have taught him even as one would say precisely, 'T is pity, love should be so contrary; Thus I would teach a dog. I was sent to deliver And thinking on it makes me cry, alas! him, as a present to mistress Silvia, from my master; Pro. Well, give her that ring, and therewithal and I came no sooner into the dining-chamber, but This letter;-that 's her chamber.-Tell my lady, he steps me to her trencher, and steals her capon's I claim the promise for her heavenly picture. leg. O, 't is a foul thing when a cur cannot keep Your message done, hie home unto my chamber, himself in all companies! I would have, as one Where thou shalt find me sad and solitary. should say, one that takes upon him to be a dog in [Exit Proteus. deed, to be, as it were, a dog at all things. If I had Jul. How many women would do such a message? not had more wit than he, to take a fault upon me Alas, poor Proteus! thou hast entertain'd that he did, I think verily he had been hanged for A fox, to be the shepherd of thy lambs: 1; sure as I live he had suffer'd for 't: you shall Alas, poor fool! why do I pity him judge. He thrusts me himself into the company of That with his very heart despiseth me? free or four gentlemen-like dogs, under the duke's Because he loves her, he despiseth me; table: he had not been there (bless the mark) a Because I love him, I must pity him. pissing while, but all the chamber smelt him. Out This ring I gave him, when he parted from me, with the dog, says one; What cur is that? says To bind him to remember my good will: And now am I (unhappy messenger) To plead for that, which I would not obtain; another; Whip him out, says the third; Hang him , says the duke. I, having been acquainted with the smell before, knew it was Crab; and goes me to the fellow that whips the dogs: Friend, quoth I, you mean to whip the dog? Ay, marry, do I, quoth I am my master's true confirmed love; Le. You do him the more wrong, quoth 1; 't was I did the thing you wot of. He makes me no more Unless I prove false traitor to myself. ado, but whips me out of the chamber. How many masters would do this for their servant? Nay, I '11 As, Heaven it knows, I would not have him speed. be sworn, I have sat in the stocks for puddings he bath stolen, otherwise he had been executed: I have stood on the pillory for geese he hath killed, therwise he had suffer'd for 't: thou think'st not of Lais now !-Nay, I remember the trick you served me, when I took my leave of madam Silvia; did not Ibid thee still mark me, and do as I do? When ildst thou see me heave up my leg, and make water gainst a gentlewoman's farthingale? didst thou ever see me do such a trick? Enter Proteus and Julia. Pro. Sebastian is thy name? I like thee well, peasant? Where have you been these two days loitering? Laun. Marry, sir, I carried mistress Silvia the dog you bade me. Pro. And what says she to my little jewel? Laun. Marry, she says, your dog was a cur; and tells you, currish thanks is good enough for such a present. Pro. But she received my dog? But cannot be true servant to my master, Enter Silvia, attended. [Picture brought. Go, give your master this tell him from me, Sil. I pray thee, let me look on that again. I will not look upon your master's lines: Laun. No, indeed, did she not here have I And full of new-found oaths; which he will break, brought him back again. Pro. What, didst thou offer her this from me? Laun. Ay, sir; the other squirrel was stolen from me by the hangman's boys in the market-place: and > then I offered her mine own; who is a dog as big as ten of yours, and therefore the gift the greater. Pro. Go, get thee hence, and find iny dog again, Or ne'er return again into my sight. Away, I say: Stay'st thou to vex me here? A slave, that still an end turns me to shame. Sebastian, I have entertained thee, [Exit Launce. As easily as I do tear his paper. Jul. Madam, he sends your ladyship this ring. Jul. She thanks you. Sil. What say'st thou? Jul. I thank you, madain, that you tender her: |