212 FRENCH ACTRESSES. he makes a point of breaking. If the fair actress be given a dress which, in the eyes of her worshipper, does not set off the charms he worships to the fullest advantage, the manager stands a chance of having a bullet lodged in his thigh, or a small sword run through his thorax. If the lady, from not possessing the talent she imagines, or even if she does possess it, from not being as amenable as might be wished, be "shelved," the manager is either favoured with a visit from some proprietor of, or writer in, a journal, or with the perusal of some article in the same, pointing out the loss the public sustains by the non-employment of so fascinating a performer, of whose talents, but for such paragraph, the public would never have heard at all. It is impossible almost for a Frenchman, certainly for an Englishman, to be a match for a French actress, who is a perfect mistress of coquetterie, and has had the principles of finesse instilled into her mind from the earliest dawn of comprehension. The most perfect managerial adept I ever met is my friend Monsieur Véron, who, at the time he was directeur of the Académie Royale de Musique at Paris, visited this country for the purpose of engaging Les Demoiselles Elssler. He gave them a splendid dinner at the Clarendon, and when the dessert was put upon the table, the centre piece was a large salver of bijouterie for each of them to select one trinket from, of a given value, in addition to the theatrical engagement he offered them. It was not only an elegant but a very FRENCH ACTRESSES. 213 politic mode of arranging business; for while they would have otherwise been disputing half the time upon a question of a few hundred francs, a bauble, of not half the value, decided it at once. I shall not easily forget Véron's astonishment at the bill for this dinner; not at its general amount, which, considering the splendour of the "spread" for sixteen of us, was very reasonable, (being under 401.) but at an item of 81. 8s. for soup! He could not understand that the usual extraordinary charge of half a guinea a head, when turtle is put on the table, was any thing short of imposition, averring, with an ambiguous smile, that 81. 8s. would nearly purchase all the soup in Paris. But Véron knew his people; for many things may be done with a foreign actress, if you commence operations with a dinner, and end them with a diamond.* In these general remarks, however, not the slightest impolite allusion to Mademoiselle Elssler or her sister is intended, for I have invariably found her tractable and obliging; but in the main, these performers are unmanageable. They will frequently be more than an hour behind their time at rehearsal, a great rudeness in itself, but they will be still more rude if they find the rehearsal has proceeded without * VERON seemed also to have studied The Two Gentlemen of VERONA : "Dumb jewels often, in their silent kind, "More than quick words, do move a woman's mind!" Act iii. scene 1. 214 FRENCH ACTRESSES. In them, or has been dismissed in consequence of their absence. The progress of business is frequently retarded while that morning companion of the dressing-room, a basin of bouillon, is undergoing demolition; and is as frequently interrupted by the intrusion of admiring visiters dans les coulisses. short, I have long since arrived at the conclusion that they are altogether ungovernable; for what with the demands for payments and perquisites, billets and boxes, dresses and dressing-rooms, beaux and their bullyings, impudence and intrigue, and all the consequences of non-compliance, a manager's life is harassed without achievement, while they have their way at last; verifying the ancient couplet, "For what they will, they will-you may depend on't, "And what they won't, they won't-and there's an end ou't." CHAPTER IX. Patent delights!—the regular and the irregular drama-Their advantages discussed-Madame Pasta, the Lord Chamberlain, and his late Majesty-Some doubt where Drury Lane is-Sir Herbert Taylor and the Baron Ompteda-Lord Foley and his Gentlemenat-Arms-London and Windsor duties-Fulfilment of the latter put in practice-Expensive soliciting-Lying in state, and state lying-Shakspeare's definition of honour-Duke of Beaufort and Mademoiselle Taglioni-Effect of royal deaths on royal theatres -Madame Schroeder Devrient-Bad French and bad conductHigh and low exchequers. THE Patents! If the parties who are at this moment arguing so strongly the injustice of their existence, and the absolute necessity of their abrogation, were but in the exercise of the privilege supposed to belong to them, they would have a hearty laugh at themselves for the unnecessary pains they are taking. They are literally worthless to their possessors, and harmless to those they are supposed to injure. THE PATENTS (pretty dears!) are supposed to give their holders a monopoly over the drama, whereby they may act any entertainment of the stage they think proper, and limit other theatres to particular per 216 PATENT DELIGHTS. formances. Reverse the case, and you will be much nearer the mark. The sticklers for the erasure of these patents from the statute-book contend that, notwithstanding the inroad on their privileges, and the consequent invasion of the law with impunity, by so many London theatres, as long as that law MIGHT be enforced there is no safety for the drama. This I take to be the extent of their discussion. There is not a vast deal of difference, in these days, whether a man, and above all men a manager, exercise the prerogative of another in defiance of the law, or exercise his own, backed by the law-he stands very little chance of being disturbed in his avocation. But supposing that the antagonists of these unfortunate documents had their own way, and the trade in the drama was declared to be free as that of any more necessary commodity, the opinions they entertain of that freedom leading to the regeneration of the stage are, to my way of thinking, erroneous in the extreme. I cannot think that any writer or disputant on the subject actually believes that if this "monopoly " as it is called, were removed, and its advantages extended over the town, a capitalist could be found to disburse one shilling towards the erection of a theatre FOR THE PERFORMANCE OF THE REGULAR DRAMA; nor can I think that any one theatre in existence would avail itself of the extension by resorting to that class of entertainment. In the very best days of the patent theatres, since they were rebuilt, except under temporary excite |