and let them know, that their present fortune, which is come upon them by the loss of their poor fathers on so glorious occasions, is much more honourable than the inheritance of the most ample ill-gotten wealth. The next letter which lies before me is from a man of sense, who strengthens his own authority with that of Tully, in persuading me to what he very justly believes one cannot be averse. 66 MR. BICKERSTAFF, "I am so confident of your inclination to promote any thing that is for the advancement of liberal arts, that I lay before you the following translation of a paragraph in Cicero's oration in defence of Archias the poet, as an incentive to the agreeable and instructive reading of the writings of the Augustan age. Most vices and follies proceed from a man's incapacity of entertaining himself; and we are generally fools in company, because we dare not be wise alone. I hope, on some future occasions, you will find this no barren hint. Tully, after having said very handsome things of his client, commends the arts of which he was master, as follows: If so much profit be not reaped in the study of letters, and if pleasure only be found; yet, in my opinion, this relaxation of the mind should be essteemed most humane and ingenuous. Other things are not for all ages, places, and seasons. These studies form youth, delight old age, adorn prosperity, and soften, and even remove adversity, entertain at home, are no hindrance abroad; do not leave us at night, and keep us company on the road, and in the country.' "Your humble servant, "London, Feb. 27, 1709.” "STREPHON." The following epistle seems to want the quickest despatch, because a lady is every moment offended till it is answered; which is best done by letting the offender see in her own letter how tender she is of calling him so. 66 SIR, "This comes from a relation of yours, though unknown to you, who, besides the tie of consanguinity, has some value for you on the account of your Lucubrations, those being designed to refine our conversation, as well as cultivate our minds. I humbly beg the favour of you, in one of your Tatlers, after what manner you please, to correct a particular friend of mine, for an indecorum he is guilty of in discourse, of calling his acquaintance, when he speaks to them, Madam; as for example, my cousin Jenny Distaff, Madam Distaff; which, I am sure you are sensible, is very unpolite, and it is what makes me often uneasy for him, though I cannot tell him of it myself, which makes me guilty of this presumption, that I depend upon your goodness to excuse ; and I do assure you, the gentleman will mind your reprehension, for he is, as I am, Sir, "Your most humble servant and cousin, "DOROTHY DRUMSTICK. "I write this in a thin under-petticoat, and never did or will wear a Fardingal.” I had no sooner read the just complaint of Mrs. Drumstick, but I received an urgent one from another of the fair sex, upon faults of more pernicious consequence. "MR. BICKERSTAFF, "Observing that you are entered into a correspondence with Pasquin, who is, I suppose, a Roman Catholic, I beg of you to forbear giving him any account of our religion or manners till you have rooted out certain misbehaviours even in our churches. Among others, that of bowing, saluting, taking snuff, and other gestures. Lady Autumn made me a very low courtesy the other day from the next pew, and, with the most courtly air imaginable called herself miserable sinner. Her niece, soon after, saying, Forgive us our trespasses, courtesied with a glouting look at my brother. He returned it, opening his snuff-box, and repeating yet a more solemn expression. I beg of you, good Mr. Censor, not to tell Pasquin any thing of this kind, and to believe this does not come from one of a morose temper, mean birth, rigid education, narrow fortune, or bigotry in opinion, or from one in whom time has worn out all taste of pleasure. I assure you, it is far otherwise; for I am possessed of all the contrary advantages, and hope wealth, good humour, and good breeding, may be best employed in the service of religion and virtue; and desire you would, as soon as possible, remark upon the above-mentioned indecorums, that we may not longer transgress against the latter, to preserve our reputation in the former. "Your humble servant, "LYDIA." The last letter I shall insert is what follows. This is written by a very inquisitive lady; and, I think, such interrogative gentlewomen are to be answered no other way than by interrogation. Her billet is this: "DEAR MR. BICKERSTAFF, "Are you quite as good as you seem to be? To which I can only answer: "CHLOE." DEAR CHLOE, Are you quite as ignorant as you seem to be? I.B. No. 141. SATURDAY, MARCH 4, 1709-10. SHEER-LANE, MARCH 3. WHILE the attention of the town is drawn aside from the reading uswriters of news, we all save ourselves against it is at more leisure. As for my own part, I shall still let the labouring oar be managed by my correspondents, and fill my paper with their sentiments, rather than my own, till I find readers more disengaged than they are at present. When I came home this evening, I found several letters and petitions, which I shall insert with no other order, than as I accidentally opened them, as follows: SIR, my "Having a daughter about nine years of age, I would endeavour she might have education: I mean such as may be useful, as working well, and a good deportment. In order to it I am persuaded to place her at some boarding-school, situate in a good air. My wife opposes it, and gives for her greatest reason, that she is too much a woman, and understands the formalities of visiting and a tea-table so very nicely, that none, though much older, can exceed her; and with all these perfections, the girl can scarce thread a needle: but, however, after several arguments, we have agreed to be decided by your judgement; and, knowing your abilities, shall manage our daughter exactly as you shall please to direct. I am serious in my request, and hope you will be so in your answer, which will lay a deep obligation upon, Sir, your humble servant, "T. T. "Sir, pray answer it in your Tatler, that it may be serviceable to the public. "March 1, 1709-10.” I am as serious on this subject as my correspondent can be; and am of opinion, that the great happiness or misfortune of mankind depends upon the manner of educating and treating that sex. I have lately said, I design to turn my thoughts more particularly to them and their service; I beg, therefore, a little time to give my opinion on so important a subject, and desire the young lady may fill tea one week longer, till I have considered whether she shall be removed or not. 66 MR. BICKERSTAFF, "Your notice in the advertisement in your Tatler of Saturday last, about Whetters in and about the Royal Exchange, is mightily taken notice of by gentlemen who use the coffee-houses near the Chancery-office in Chancery-lane. And there being a particular certain set of both young and old gentlemen that belong to, and near adjoining to the Chancery-office, both in Chancery-lane and Bell-yard, that are not only Whetters all the morning long, but very musically given about twelve at night the same days, and mightily taken with the union of the dulcimer, violin, and song; at which recreation they rejoice together with perfect harmony, however their clients disagree: you are humbly desired by several gentlemen to give some regulation concerning them; in which you will contribute to the repose of us, who are your very humble servants, "L.T. N. F. T.W." "Chancery-lane, Feb. 27, 1709." |