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I had nearly lost poor Mrs Testy in such a nasty cloud last week: we were, somehow, parted by the crowd, and there was she, poor soul, crying out, (in her language I inean,)
Jamque vale ! feror ingenti circundata nocte, Invalidasque tibi tendens, heu! non tua, palmas.
Dixit, et ex oculis subito, ceu fumus in auras Commixtus tenues, fugit diversa, neque illun Prensantem nequicquam umbras, et multa volentem Dicere præterea, vidit!”
Tes. And so, here, I perceive, we are both shutting up our black books.
Sen. Yes.-Well, then, Mr Testy, are any of these adventures, think you, likely to
*". And now, farewell !-By deepest night clos'd round,
remove the impressions under which we came up to London Tes. Remove them!-I will soon shew
you my opinion upon that point, by hurrying out of it tomorrow morning; for vile as the country is, in most respects, yet, to give it its due, you can generally breathe the air ;you can hear yourself speak,—though there is nobody to speak to ;-there is no bad smell in some of the flowers ; - you can see an inch before your nose ;—and you can bear to look at
hands for at least half an hour after you have washed them. How hospitably the five senses are entertained in London, we have pretty well seen ;--and yet, it is principally to have the said senses tickled, that the boobies come swarming up to it as they do.
Sen. It is so-which leads me to hope that you will not actually depart quite so hastily as you have planned; for the lovers of London would have us think that the
eye and ear, at least, are better off in the metropolis than in any other spot on the globe: now, as you and I, you know, are hunting life through, in order to ascertain whether any thing which it offers, can be endured, we owe just so much respect to general opinion, as to take what are called the Public Places
in our way.
Tes. I won't stay an hour longer than I have mentioned, Sensitive ;-no, not if they would make over to me both the theatres, and the opera-house into the bargain, including all their profits for fifty years to come. -Besides, Sir, I have peeped in at most of them already, and have never forgiven the fellows at the door for not returning me my money as I hastened out again.
Sen. Nay, then, my good friend, what will become of our main concern? How shall we be able to make it out to our own satisfaction th it we are completely wretched, if there be some sources of supposed delight which we have never fairly tried ?
Tes. It does not signify, Sensitive; I tell you“ I have been;"_been quite enough to enable me to make up my mind : one set of puppets is very like another, I suppose; - and so, once more, I am off by day-break to-morrow morning : “ This deed I'll do, before this purpose cool; — But no more Sights."
Sen. Well, Sir, since you are so inflexible, I must fill up the deficiency of your evidence as well as I am able, by making the round of revels by myself. By the time I have gone through my duty, it is to be hoped you will have cooled a little, and that you will then consent to return hither for a single day, at least, that I may not wholly lose the few ideas you have given yourself an opportunity of forming upon the subject of London Diversions.
Tes. In the suburbs, Sir—in the suburbs, perhaps I may; or rather, at one of the villages a little farther off: but no more imprisonment within the Liberties of London and Westminster for me!-and so, thanking you for having strung yourself up to relaxation for the good of the cause,—success to your pleasures !—I will come this way when you call for me—that's enough; and as to the place of rendezvous--nothing upon a lower level than Hampstead or Highgate, I beg:
Sen. Where you please, so that we do but meet, to club our lamentations.
DIALOGUE THE FIFTH.
MISERIES OF PUBLIC PLACES OF ENTER
Testy, Senior and Junior.-Sensitive. (Testy's
house at Highgate, to which he had removed after his late sudden departure from London.)
you joy, friend Sensitive, of having come out alive from all the holes of happiness in which you have been stiving for the last two or three months !-One comfort, however, attending our pursuits, is that they must pay, either in plague or profit.
, Sen. Ah, Sir! you would not have allowed much weight to plague in the scale of advantage, had you gone through it in the manner I