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and the rather, as men, having made it themselves, will be naturally interested by the vanity of workmen, in its defence. Our precious affairs among the fields and trees are pretty well settled; and as our return to London will take place nearly at the same time, we can meet at a coffee-house, and, by favour of the delightful privacy of a box, cut off by a silk curtain from twenty listeners close at our backs, we may discuss in comfort, you know.
Tes. O, yes! I understand you-a dry rot take the house, and all that belongs to it! there, however, we must meet, I suppose, or we should not think ourselves in London ; and so I will attend your summons;—if, indeed, I should retain my senses, by the time I shall have employed them in collecting matter enough to equip me for the conference. In the mean time, I must go back to the harness.
Sen. The harness !-how?
Tes. How! why to have another pull at the rascally riddle.Your servant. Holla! Sensitive!-Another country comfort, which how
I came to forget, I cannot very
well I enjoyed it no longer ago than last night.
39. (T.) Going to see a party of strolling players, on the strength of an encouraging report that they are execrable; but finding them so intolerably tolerable, that even the most heart-breaking scenes of their tragedy scarcely afford you one hearty laugh.
That's all I'm off.
DIALOGUE THE FOURTH,
MISERIES OF LONDON.
Testy, Senior and Junior.–Sensitive. (At a
Testy. Welcome to London, friend Sensitive! and still more welcome to this quiet room
hear me? Sen. If I cannot, this constant and cheerful noise of carts and coaches, which is said by some to favour conversation, will help me out, I suppose.
Tes. Nay, if a man must be stunned before he can hear, the deaf should lose no time in coming up to London !—but how long have you been in this elysium of brick and mortar? and what have you seen?
Sen. Seen! I am so full of what I have heard, that I hardly know; for, of all my organs, my ear, I think, torments me most :and yet I beg pardon of my nose, which, in London, seems still more earnestly bent on my destruction.
Tes. I give you joy, however, of having found out that; there is some comfort in knowing which of your five servants is least busy in plotting against its master.—As to me, the conspiracy is so nicely balanced among them, that I shall never be able to detect the ring-leader. All I know is, that, whenever they may finish me, there will be some of my blood at each of their doors.But you seemed, just now, as if you were going to be very eloquent upon noises, in
particular :--any thing much worse than usual in that line?
Sen. O, yesmif possible : in an evil hour, I lately changed my lodgings, to escape from a brazier at the next door, who counted his profits so very distinctly upon the drums of my ears, that, not thinking myself indemnified by the value of the intelligence for the loss of my hearing, I took wing at a moment's warning ;—the only consequence, however, has been that of exchanging one old enemy for a thousand new ones.
What is a single brazier to a legion of brazen throats ?—But I anticipate—it is time to go to business, and I will lead the way, if you please, with a “ Misery” which will too fully answer your last question.— Sen. produces his memoranda, and reads.)
GROAN 1. (S.) While you are harmlessly reading, or writing, in a room which fronts the street, being compelled, during the whole morning, to undergo that savage jargon of yells, brays, and screams, familiarly, but feebly, termed, “ the Cries of London ”-dustmen, beggars, muffin-mongers, knife-grinders, and newscarriers included :
“ Bombalio, clangor, stridor, tarantantara,
murmur!” — you having, all the while, no interest whatever in the uproar, except in the simple character of a sufferer: or, should you chance to have a wish for what is in the baskets, or barrows, of these sharkmouthed bawlers, being necessitated to let them pass unstopped, from your utter incapability of ever