Gentlemen in claret,

Sober as a vicar;
Gentlemen in tweed,

Dreadfully in liquor!

5 Stranger on the right, Looking very sunny, Obviously reading

Something rather funny Now the smiles are thickerWonder what they mean? Faith, he's got the KnickerBocker magazine!

6. Stranger on the left,

Closing up his peepers :
Now he snores amain,

Like the seven sleepers;

At his feet a volume

Gives the explanation,
How the man grew stupid
From "association!"

7. Ancient maiden lady
Anxiously remarks,
That there must be peril
'Mong so many sparks;
Roguish-looking fellow,
Turning to the stranger
Says it's his opinion,

She is out of danger!

8. Woman with her baby,
Sitting vis-à-vis ;

Baby keeps a-squalling,
Woman looks at me;

Asks about the distance,
Says it's tiresome talking
Noises of the cars

Are so very shocking!
9. Market woman, careful

Of the precious casket,
Knowing eggs are eggs,
Tightly holds her basket;
Feeling that a smash,

If it came, would surely
Send her eggs to pot,
Rather prematurely.

10. Singing through the forests,
Rattling over ridges,

Shooting under arches,

Rumbling over bridges;

Whizzing through the mountains,
Buzzing o'er the vale—
Bless me! this is pleasant,
Riding on a rail!

LESSON XXXIX.

READING WITH SPECTACLES.

ANONYMOUS.

1. A CERTAIN artist, I've forgot his name,

Had got, for making spectacles, a fame,

Or "helps to read," as, when they first were solo
Was writ upon his glaring sign in gold;

And, for all uses to be had from glass,
His were allowed by readers to surpass.

2. There came a man into his shop one day:
"Are you the spectacle contriver, pray?"
"Yes, sir," said he, "I can in that affair
Contrive to please you, if you want a pair.”
"Can you? pray do, then." So, at first, he chose
To place a youngish pair upon his nose :

And book produced, to see how they would fit;
Asked how he liked 'em? "Like 'em-not a bit."
"Then, sir, I fancy, if you please to try,

These in my hand will better suit your eye."

"No, but they don't." "Well, come, sir, if you please, Here is another sort, we'll e'en try these ;

Still somewhat more they magnify the letter;

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Now, sir!" 'Why, now I'm not a bit the better."
"No! here, take these that magnify still more;
How do they fit?" "Like all the rest before."
In short, they tried a whole assortment through,
But all in vain, for none of 'em would do.

3. The operator, much surprised to find

So odd a case, thought, sure the man is blind:

"What sort of eyes can you have got ?" said he,

Why, very good ones, friend, as you may see.”

"Yes, I perceive the clearness of the ball;

Pray, let me ask you, can you read at all?"
"No, you great blockhead! if I could, what need
Of paying you for any 'helps to read?""
And so he left the maker in a heat,
Resolved to post him for an arrant cheat.

LESSON XL.

FRENCHMAN IN TROUBLE.

ANONYMOUS.

1. A FRENCHMAN once, who was a merry wight,
Passing to town from Dover in the night,
Near the roadside an ale-house chanced to spy,
And being rather tired as well as dry,
Resolved to enter; but first he took a peep,
In hopes a supper he might get, and cheap.
He enters: "Hallo! Garcon, if you please,
Bring me a little bit of bread and cheese.
And, hallo' Garcon, a pot of porter, too," he said,
"Vich I shall take, and den myself to bed."

2. His supper done, some scraps of cheese were left,
Which our poor Frenchman, thinking it no theft,
Into his pocket put; then slowly crept

To wished-for bed; but not a wink he slept;
For, on the floor some sacks of flour were laid,
To which the rats a nightly visit paid.
Our hero now undressed, popped out the light,
Put on his сар, and bade the world good night;
But first his breeches, which contained the fare,
Urder his pillow he had placed with care.

3. Sans ceremonie, soon the rats all ran,

And on the flour-sacks greedily began ;

At which they gorged themselves, then smelling round
Under the pillow soon the cheese they found;
And while at this they regaling sat,

Their happy jaws disturbed the Frenchman's nap;
Who, half awake, cried out, "Hallo! hallo!

Vat is dat nibbel at my pillow so?

Ah! 'tis one big huge rat!

Vat de diable is it he nibbel, nibbel at?" 4. In vain our little hero sought repose;

Sometimes the vermin galloped o'er his nose;
And such the pranks they kept up all the night,
That he, on end antipodes upright,
Bawling aloud, called stoutly for a light.
"Hallo! Maison! Garcon, I say!

Bring me the bill for vat I have to pay!"

The bill was brought, and to his great surprise,

Ten shillings was the charge: he scarce believes his
With eager haste he runs it o'er,

And

every time he viewed it thought it more.

eyes.

5. "Vy zounds, and zounds!" he cries, "I shall no pay; Vat! charge ten shelangs for vat I have mange? A leetal sup of porter, dis vile bed,

Vare all de rats do run about my head!"

"Plague on those rats!" the landlord muttered out; "I wish, upon my word, that I could make 'em scout: I'll pay him well that can." "I'll pay him well that can."

"Vat's dat you say?”
"Attend to me, I pray

Vil you dis charge forego, vat I am at,
If from your house I drive away de rat?"
"With all my heart," the jolly host replies;
"Ecoutez donc, ami; " the Frenchman cries.
'First, den, Regardez, if you please,

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Bring to dis spot a leetal bread and cheese,

Eh bien! a pot of porter, too;

And den invite de rats to sup vid you;

And after-no matter dey be villing

For vat dey eat you charge dem just ten shelang;

And I am sure, ven dey behold de score,

Dey'll quit your house, and never come no more.