gions of commerce and agriculture, will stand the wreck of the Spanish inquisition, the pirates of the hyperborean seas, and the marauders of the Aurora Bolivar! But, gentlemen of the jury, if you convict my client, his children will be doomed to pine away in a state of hopeless matrimony; and his beautiful wife will stand lone and delighted, like a dried up mullainstalk in a sheep.pasture.

LESSON V.

PHAETHON, OR THE AMATEUR COACHMAN.

JOHN G. SAXI

1. DAN Phaethon, so the histories run,—
Was a jolly young chap, and a son of the Sun;
Or rather of Phoebus,-but as to his mother,
Genealogists make a deuce of a pother,
Some going for one, and some for another!
For myself, I must say as a careful explorer,
This roaring young blade was the son of Aurora.
2. Now old Father Phoebus, ere railways begun
To elevate funds and depreciate fun,

Drove a very fast coach by the name of "The Sun; '
Running, they say,

Trips every day,

(On Sundays and all, in a heathenish way;)

All lighted up with a famous array

Of lanterns that shone with a brilliant display,
And dashing along like a gentleman's "shay,"
With never a fare, and nothing to pay!
Now Phaethon begged of his doting old father,
To grant him a favor, and this the rather,

Since some one had hinted, the youth to annoy,
That he wasn't by any means Phoebus's boy!
Intending, the rascally son of a gun,

To darken the brow of the son of the Sun!

3. "By the terrible Styx!" said the angry sire, While his eye flashed volumes of fury and fire, "To prove your reviler an infamous liar,

I swear I will grant you whate'er you desire!" "Then by my head,"

The youngster said,

"I'll mount the coach when the horses are fed!-For there's nothing I'd choose, as I'm alive,

Like a seat on the box, and a dashing drive!"

Just stop a moment and think upon't!

You're quite too young," continued the sage, "To tend a coach at your early age!

Besides, you see,

"Twill really be

Your first appearance on any stage!

Desist, my child,

The cattle are wild,

And when their mettle is thoroughly 'riled,'
Depend upon't, the coach will be 'spiled '—
They're not the fellows to draw it mild!
Desist, I say,

You'll rue the day,

So mind and don't be foolish, Pha!"

But the youth was proud,

And swore aloud,

'Twas just the thing to astonish the crowd,—

He'd have the horses and wouldn't be cowed!

5. In vain the boy was cautioned at large,

He called for the chargers, unheeding the charge,
And vowed that any young fellow of force,
Could manage a dozen coursers, of course!
Now Phoebus felt exceedingly sorry
He had given his word in such a hurry,
But having sworn by the. Styx, no doubt
He was in for it now, and could'nt back out.

6. So calling Phaëthon up in a trice,

He

gave the youth a bit of advice :

"Parce stimulis, utere loris?”
(A "stage direction," of which the core is,
Don't use the whip,-they're ticklish things-
But, whatever you do, hold on to the strings!)
Remember the rule of the Jehu tribe is,
"Medio tutissimus ibis,”

As the judge remarked to a rowdy Scotchman,
(Who was going to quod between two watchmen!)
So mind your eye and spare your goad,

Be shy of the stones, and keep in the road!

7. Now Phaethon, perched in the coachman's place, Drove off the steeds at a furious pace,

Fast as coursers running a race,
Or bounding along in a steeple chase!
Of whip and shout there was no lack,
"Crack-whack-

Whack-crack,"

Resounding along the horses' back!-
Frightened beneath the stinging lash,
Cutting their Aks in many a gash.

8. On-on they sped as swift as a flash,
Through thick and thin away they dash,

(Such rapid driving is always rash!)
When all at once, with a dreadful crash,
The whole establishment went to smash!
And Phaethon, he,

9. Don't rashly take to dangerous courses,Nor set it down in your table of forces, That any one man equals any four horses! Don't swear by the Styx!

It's one of Old Nick's

Diabolical tricks

To get people into a regular "fix,"
And hold 'em there as fast as bricks!

LESSON VI.

HODGE AND THE VICAR.

ANONYMOUS.

1. HODGE, a poor, honest, lazy lout,
Not over-stocked with learning,
Chanced, on a summer's eve, to meet,
The vicar home returning.

2. "Ah! master Hodge," the vicar cried,

"What, still as wise as ever?

The people in the village say
That you are wondrous clever."

N

3. "Why, inaster parson, as to that
I beg you'll right conceive me,
I do na' brag, but yet I know
A thing or two, believe me."

4. "We'll try your skill," the parson cried,
"For learning what digestion:

And this you'll prove, or right or wrong,
By solving me a question:

5. "Noah of old three babies had,

Or grown-up children rather;

Shem, Ham, and Japhet, they were called:
Now, who was Japhet's father?"

6. "Rat it!" cried Hodge, and scratched his head "That does my wits belabor:

But howsomde'er I'll homeward run,
And ax old Giles, my neighbor."

7. To Giles he went, and put the case
With circumspect intention:

*Thou fool!" cried Giles, "I'll make it clea To thy dull comprehension.

8. "Three children has Tom Long, the smith,
Or cattle-doctor, rather;

Tom, Dick, and Harry, they are called:
Now, who is Harry's father?"

9. "Adzooks! I have it," Hodge replied,
"Right well I know your lingo;
Who's Harry's father? stop-here goes-
Why Tom Long Smith, by jingo."

10. Away he ran to find the priest
With all his might and main,