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Cres. I will, as soon as e'er the war's concluded.
Diom. Give me some token, for the surety of it; The ring I saw you wear. Cres. (Giving it.] If you must have it.
Troil. The ring? nay, then, 'tis plain! O beauty, where's thy faith!
Ulys. You have sworn patience.
Thers. That's well, that's well, the pledge is given; hold her to her word, good devil, and her soul's thine, I warrant thee.
Diom. Whose was't?
Cres. By all Diana's waiting train of stars, And by herself, I will not tell you
whose. Diom. Why then thou lov'st him still: farewell
Thou never shalt mock Diomede again.
Cres. You shall not go: one cannot speak a word, But straight it starts you.
Diom. I do not like this fooling.
Thers. Nor I, by Pluto: but that, which likes not you, pleases me best.
Diom. I shall expect your promise.
Cres. I'll perform it. Not a word more, good night, I hope for ever: Thus to deceive deceivers is no fraud. (Aside.
[Exeunt DIOMEDE and CRESSIDA severally. Ulys. All's done, my lord. Troil. Is it: Ulys. Pray let us go. Troil. Was Cressida here? Ulys. I cannot conjure, Trojan.
Troil. She was not, sure! she was not; Let it not be believed, for womanhood : Think we had mothers, do not give advantage To biting satire, apt without a theme For defamation, to square all the sex By Cressid's rule; rather think this not Cressida.
Thers. Will he swagger himself out on's own eyes?
Troil. This she! no, this was Diomede's Cressida. If beauty have a soul, this is not she :I cannot speak for rage ;--that ring was mine :By heaven I gave it, in that point of time, When both our joys were fullest !- If he keeps it, Let dogs eat Troilus.
Thers. He'll tickle it for his concupy: this will be sport to see! Patroclus will give me any thing for the intelligence of this whore; a parrot will not do more for an almond, than he will for a commodious drab:- I would I could meet with this rogue Diomede too: I would croak like a rave to him; I would bode: it shall go hard but I'll find him out.
Troil. This I shall say to Hector.
Ulys. So I hope. Pray heaven Thersites have informed me true !
[Aside. Troil. Good night, my lord; accept distracted thanks!
[Èxit ULYSSES. Enter PANDARUS. Pand. Hear ye, my lord, hear ye; I have been seeing yon poor girl. There have been old doings there, i faith. Troil. (Aside. Hold yet, my spirits: let him pour
The poison's kind: the more I drink of it,
Æn. to Pand. Peace, thou babbler!
Pand. She has been mightily made on by the Greeks: she takes most wonderfully among 'em. Achilles kissed her, and Patroclus kissed her: nay, and old Nestor put aside his grey beard, and brushed her with his whiskers. Then comes me Agamemnon with his general's staff, diving with a low bow even to the ground, and rising again, just at her lips: and after him came Ulysses, and Ajax, and Menelaus: and they so pelted her, ifaith, pitter patter, pitter patter, as thick as hail-stones. And after that, a whole rout of 'em : never was a woman in Phrygia better kissed.
Troil. [Aside.] Hector said true: I find, I find it now!
Pand. And, last of all, comes me Diomede, so demurely: that's a notable sly rogue, I warrant him! mercy upon us, how he laid her on upon the lips ! for, as I told you, she's most mightily made on among the Greeks. What, cheer up, I she has every one's good word. I think, in my conscience, she was born with a caul upon her head.
Troil. [Aside.] Hell, death, confusion, how he tortures me!
Pand. And that rogue-priest, my brother, is so courted and treated for her sake: the yourg sparks do so pull him about, and haul him by the cassock: nothing but invitations to his tent, and his tent, and his tent. Nay, and one of 'em was so bold, as to ask him, if she were a virgin; and with that, the rogue, my brother, takes me up a little god in his hand, and kisses it
, and swears devoutly that she was; then was I ready to burst my sides with laughing, to think what had passed betwixt you two.
• Troil. O I can bear no more! she's falsehood all :
Pand. What, would you make a monopoly of a woman's lips? a little consolation, or so, might be allowed, one would think, in a lover's absence.
Troil. Hence from my sight! Let ignominy brand thy hated name; Let modest matrons at thy mention start; And blushing virgins, when they read our annals, Skip o'er the guilty page that holds thy legend, And blots the noble work.
Pand. () world, world: thou art an ungrateful patch of earth! Thus the poor agent is despised ! he labours painfully in his calling, and trudges between parties: but when their turns are served, come out's too good for him. I am mighty melancholy. I'll e’en go home, and shut up my doors, and die o'the sullens, like an old bird in a cage!
[Exit PANDARUS. Enter DIOMEDE and THERSITES. Thers. [Aside.] There, there he is; now let it work: now play ihy part, jealousy, and twinge’em: put 'em between thy mill-stones, and grind the rogues together.
Diom. My lord, I am by Ajax sent to inform you, This hour must end the truce.
Æn. to Troil. Contain yourself :
Diom. Your stay will be unsafe.
Thers. [Aside.] Well said, Trojan: there's the first hit.
Diom. Beseech you, sir, make haste; my own affairs call me another way.
Thers. [Aside.] What affairs? what affairs? demand that, dolt-head! the rogue will lose a quarrel, for want of wit to ask that question. Troil
. May I enquire where your affairs conduct
Diom. You are too inquisitive: nor am I bound To satisfy an enemy's request.
Troil. You have a ring upon your finger, Diomede, And given you by a lady.
Diem. If it were, 'Twas given to one that can defend her gift.
Thers. [Aside.] So, so; the boars begin to gruntle at one another : set up your bristles now, a' both sides: whet and foam, rogues. Troil. You must restore it, Greek, by heaven you
Troil. Hell and furies !