A PARLOUR MAGIC. (ds played generally in Lodging-Heusso.) Gar a large leg of mütten, weighing about oight or nine pounds, and have it bot for dinner. If you have it up for supper, and there is any of it left, besides the bone, it will be a most extraordinary plece of magic.

Buy half-a-dozen new handkerchiefs; after counting them, place them in a drawer. Lock the latter carefully, and take the key with you. Bo absent during the day, and on your return count the handkerchiefs. You will find one of the best handkerchiefs missing. The question is, by what magic can it have disappeared, for the key of the drawer has been in your pocket all the while?

The same with your coals, and sugar, and candles, and the halfpence you leave in your pockets. You have only to turn your back for a minute, and you will find, on looking again, that they have all disappeared.

In the same mysterious manner will gin be turned into water, and brandy turn from brown into pale. Pens, ink, and paper, also will disappear most miraculously--no one being able to tell how; whilst hair-oil or pomatum, and such other requisites for the toilette, were never known to keep longer than the first day.

MORE "DEFINITIONS."

DoG.--An inferior animal, who may be taught to beg on two legs, like a man. GAMBLER.-A rogue amongst fools, and a fool amongst rogues.

RRFORMER. A person known first, as a "Visionary;" then, as a "Quack;" then,

as a "Benefactor."

CHIVALRY.-The aurora borealis of the dark ages.

COMFORT FOR FARMERS AND OTHERS.Whatever may be the effect of Free Trade on the price of corn, it certainly will not prevent the people at large from kneading bread.

ECCLESIASTICAL INFORMATION.- Candles were first introduced into churches in the day-time during the dark ages.

QUESTION FOR NATURALISTS.-Why is the Pelican like MR. HOBBS?-Because he is celebrated for picking his chest.

TEETOTALISM IN HIGH LIFE. If a genteel family were to take the pledge, they would discharge the Butler, and not have any Porter.

MEM. BY A MANIAC.-A one-armed man is always an off-handed kind of fellow.

FISHING OFF A WATERING-PLACE.

POETRY AT THE ANTIPODES.-A young Bard intimating to his friend an intention of emigrating to Australia, is advised by the friend (who is a Wag) to stay at home, on the ground that he would get nothing at the Antipodes but a wreath of Botany Bay.

REMARKABLE FEATURE.-That essential ornament of the human countenance, the nose, is as often found Grecian or aquiline among Governesses as among other young ladics. This is singular, considering how very generally Governesses are snubbed.

THIOSOPHY OF MES

PERHAPS THE JOLLIEST THING IN THE WORLD (!)

A PECK BY A BEAK.

A poor pedlar indignantly demanding why a man cannot hawk goods without a license in this land of liberty, is informed, by a justice of the peace, that liberty is not license.

MORAL OF THE MISTLETOE.-If you print a kiss-don't publish it. EXCESS OF CAUTION.-An elderly single gentleman, travelling by railway, objected to go in the same carriage with his sister-in-law's wet nurse, for fear of catching cold.

Elgin Marbles formed no part of the Olympic Games.
CLASSICAL SPORTS AND PASTIMES.-Young ladies should be informed that the

mountebank. How do you make that out? HARLEY-QUIN. into Turkey! THEATRICAL.-Two eminent Actors, one of a past age, the other living, make one London having eaten his beef at Clapham, walks in less than five minutes' time TRAVELLING EXTRAORDINARY.-On Christmas-day an Alderman of the City of

THE MISTLETOE BOUGH.-BEING LEAP YEAR, THE LADIES TAKE THE INITIATIVE.

the cod-fish. to bite very hard in the morning. Cave canem! WHAT IS DOG'S-NOSE?-The nose of a dog, very caressing over-night; but declares that he derives no pleasure whatever from any sound except the sound of TABLE TALK.-An old gentleman with a keen palate, but without a musical ear,

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