THE VOICE OF THE PROTECTIONISTS.

W

CONVERTS IN BUCKRAM.

E announce another FALSTAFF'S arithmetical abilities, as exercised on the miracle! An ass has men in buckram," appear to have been greatly exceeded spoken for Protec- by the addition and multiplication of one WILBERFORCE, tion! After CHOW- son to a respectable man of that name, but now Secretary to LER comes HEE- a Papist Association for swamping the House of Commons HAW. The wonder with Members for Rome. This individual's cleverness at was manifested at ciphering has been evinced in his estimate of the number Bury, in Lancashire, of persons who have turned Roman Catholics at Rugby; during the elec- but the REV. MESSRS. MOULTRIE and PAGE have shown tioneering visit of that in the figures of WILBERFORCE, the most remarkable MR. F. PEEL. The is the figure hyperbole. It is very curious that not only Honourable Gentle- do the theological dogmas of WILBERFORCE's persuasion man purposed to ad- require the exertion of great faith to be believed; but dress the electors the same demand is also very commonly made by the perat the Town Hall: sonal statements of its advocates. The process of inquiry it was crammed; would seem to be hardly more damaging to the pretensions and, it seems, very of the Popish priesthood at large, than it is to the claim of many were the disap- certain disciples of theirs to credit. The character as well pointed Protection- as the number of WILBERFORCE's converts appears, on ists outside. Never-investigation, to be somewhat different from what it had "The instinct of the multitude is ever right," been represented by him. With respect to one of them, says LAMARTINE, and so it proved with the multitude of Protectionists without; at least, MR. PAGE, after intimating that he was not a for, not being able to be heard themselves, they chose as mouthpiece for their combined arguments and aspirations, a-full-grown donkey.

theless, they would be heard.

The reporter writes of the excluded-"They put the climax to the annoyance, by bringing a donkey under the windows, who discoursed most eloquent, but certainly not harmonious, music. MR. PEEL appeared to enjoy the joke." And MR. PEEL was very right.

After awhile the proceedings began, MR. PEEL delivering his opinions upon the Corn Laws. "He believed them to have worked admirably for the country." "Hee-baw!" cried the Donkey.

They had given food to millions."

66

Hee-haw!"

gentleman of very strong Anglican convictions, observes

"Indeed, he had successively belonged to the various places of worship

in the town, and only a short time before his becoming a Romanist, he complained to me of not being sufficiently supported in his business as a jobbing tailor by my congregation."

According to WILBERFORCE, sacrifices of considerable severity were made by many of the Rugby seceders. It is much to be apprehended that these oblations were pretty nearly on a par with the alarming sacrifice of this tailor, and with the sacrifices, equally alarming, which some linendrapers are in the habit of making. The jobbing

"They had produced a condition of prosperity, unparalleled in the history of tailor seemed to have had his business in view, when he England."

"Hee-haw!-hee-haw!"

"And the people of England would never again consent to eat a dear loaf when they could get a cheap one, that landlords might screw high rents from the cupboards of the country."

Hee-haw! hee-haw! hee-haw!"

The replies of the donkey were given with considerable emphasis, but it was the general feeling that his arguments were in no manner different from those of MESSRS. CHOWLER and party.

However, at all times it is delightful to chronicle the gratitude of nations and parties, so rare is its development. The eloquent ass of Bury has been purchased by a distinguished ducal Protectionist; and, turned into a paddock, will, for the remainder of his days-without working for it-crop the sweetest of English grass, and eat the very best of English beans.

An ill-natured free-trader has-in the savageness of his soul-likened this easy condition of the eloquent and certainly not over-rewarded donkey to that of the Corn-Law Landlord,-All clover, and no care!

GOLDEN (SQUARE) AND SILVER (STREET) MINING

COMPANY.

THE promoters of this truly promising scheme beg to inform the public that they are already in possession of a PLOT, the foundation of which is DEEP LAID, and which they hope will prove to be of a most productive character. There can be no doubt that Golden Square derives its name from the quantity of precious metal that has found its way to the locality, which, from its having been always the residence of lawyers, has no doubt become the receptacle of all the auriferous streams that have flowed in from a countless number of channels. It is proposed to purchase the ground in the enclosure, where there are already several plants, and the set is most extensive, on account of the set that has always been made by the inhabitants on the gold of the community. Though the yield has not been equal to former years, it is believed that the workings may still be made profitable; and, indeed, it is confidently stated that, in addition to the Golden treasures of the Square, Pewter may be quickly developed, for a considerable quantity of Quartz and no less than six Pints were picked up in one morning by the Squarekeeper.

The promoters have also the happiness to state that, however rich the veins, they will be thoroughly drained; for bleeding is a process to which the genius loci is peculiarly adapted-lawyers and surgeons having been the principal inhabitants.

Should the Gold of Golden Square be ever exhausted, it is proposed to develop the Silver of Silver Street; and 20,000 additional shares at 58. per share will be issued simultaneously with the 50,000 at £1 each, for which the earliest applicants will have the preference.

The ground has been already surveyed, and the plans laid down, by

changed his profession. Perhaps he may not find that step he has not obtained one coat the more to mend by turning prove so good a job as he expected; and discovering that his own, may by-and-by be heard moralising somewhat in the following strain: "Blow this here Popery! I ain't no better off for having forsook my religion; and now, as the Roman candlesticks won't do nuffen for me, I shall jine a coffin-club."

OBADIAH SLEEKY, the Captain of the Great Wheel-Barrow Mine, and Managing Director of the Wheel-about and Turn-about Tin and Tinfoil Miners of the Land's End districts. Specimens may be seen (by those who have already paid for their shares) at the Office of the Company, where a prize-fighter will be in attendance, to answer all questions and show his metal.

Directors have been already appointed, with power to take in as many as may be required. Dividends will be paid by drafts-on the pump-of which due notice will be given.

ADDRESS TO SIR FITZROY KELLY.
SUGGESTED BY HIS SPEECH AT WOODBRIDGE MARKET.
AIR-" O, ruddier than the Cherry."-HANDEL.

No go, SIR FITZROY KELLY;

It won't do, I can tell 'e,

To stop Free Trade,

And retrograde,

And pinch the poor man's belly.

Notice of Motion!

Saturday, April 24, and Weekly, until further Notice: MR. PUNCH to Move-the Spirit of the English People generally to the Rescue of their threatened Crystal Palace.

FEARFUL INCREASE OF ROMANISM.-Another detachment of 3,000 French soldiers have gone over to Rome!

"It might not be agreeable to him to have his name published; but from his tastes, he-being a person of some distinction in literary pursuits-is likely to be a reader of 'Notes and Queries,' and if this should catch his eye, he may be induced to send you some particulars."

We would advise the reverential admirer of JOHN MILTON, who holds his rib-bone, to hold his peace. One would think a man-capable of greater veneration than a baboon-would shudder at the thought of pawing the bones of MILTON but no-there is a kind of morbid admiration administered to by such relics, even as the dram-drinker is excited by his gin.

THE TYRANNY OF THE CORSET.-No woman has a right to cry out against the tyranny of the Corset, for it is a tyranny which she every morning puts upon herself.

The EARL OF MARMALADE said he had as yet received no official intelligence of what he must consider a most gratifying circumstance (ironical cheers from the opposition)-he would repeat the phrase, gratifying circumstance; as it proved in the most satisfactory, he might add, harmonious manner that the relations for awhile discordantly suspended between this country and Austria, had been restored by the first fiddle of the British Ambassador. That fiddle had achieved a European reputation for the purity of its tone, and the energy of its bowing.

LORD BRUFFAM.-Does the Noble Earl mean to say, that he has heard nothing of the extraordinary performances of the British Ambassador in the Cathedral of Prague ?

The EARL OF MARMALADE made no such assertion. What he said was he had received no official intelligence of the matter. He had, certainly, in his place at the Opera, taken part in a mixed conversation relative to the merits of MADEMOISELLE WAGNER and the EARL OF WESTMORELAND: and he should, perhaps, not be out of order if he observed, it had then and there been suggested that, should MR. LUMLEY be jilted by the prima donna, he might at the worst make a stop-gap of the noble Earl representing HER MAJESTY at the Court of Vienna.

LORD BRUFFAM.-Will the noble Earl inform the House if it is his intention to address the Ambassador on what he (LORD B.) must consider a most vital question? The country would not rest satisfied with vague generalities. The country would know the particular music executed by the noble cat-gut Ambassador-(a laugh)-the time he kept -whether he played upon four strings, or two; with a full account of the stoccata passages, if any, and how and where delivered.

THE REPUBLIC'S LAST KICK.

WHEN the great Powers in easier temper are,
LOUIS NAPOLEON will dub himself Emperor.
Frenchmen, submitting so basely to slavery,
Where is your spirit, and where is your bravery?

Oh! the condition of France is delectable,
Well-nigh bereaved of each son that's respectable;
Banish'd or beggar'd are Worth and Ability,
Fiercely pursued by a tyrant's hostility.

Over her Senate the autocrat dominates,

Laws humbly pass'd by the lackeys he nominates;
Speaking 's reduced to the strictest simplicity;
Eloquence gagg'd;-no debate, no publicity!

Lock'd is the Press, lest it truth should disseminate;

Jesuits are aided the mind to effeminate;

Princes are plunder'd; prætorian ferocity

Feed, with the spoil, to back all this atrocity.

Is this your Liberty's splendid reality?

This your Fraternity P-this your Equality?

This what your lives and your limbs you've been chancing for
Fighting for, bleeding for, singing for, dancing for?

Thy revolution thus proving inanity,'

France, shall thy name be a by-word for vanity?
Wilt thou consent to be look'd on as monkeydom,
Tigerdom, donkeydom, sunk into flunkeydom?

SCHWARTZENBERG died a Catholic; the mass executed for the repose of his soul was according to the rite of the Catholic Church; and he (the noble Earl) could not, in his mind's eye, behold a British Ambassador in the venerable Cathedral of Prague, amidst cardinals, and swinging censers, and clouds of incense, and all the gorgeous paraphernalia of the Catholic Church; he could not, without the deepest satisfaction, contemplate the noble Earl fiddling, and above the other instruments, and above the chanting, making heard the silveriness of that fiddle-as the best type and representative of that gentle, harmonious, and improved foreign policy, that-since the accession of the noble Earl to power-had been manifested between the two countries.

LORD BRUFFAM.-As the noble Earl was so delighted with the pacific fiddling of one Ambassador, perhaps should he again be called to the councils of his country-he would pick the plenipotentiaries for all foreign Courts from the orchestra of the Opera. He (LORD B.) thought the big drum, the pandeans, and even the bagpipe, might at various Courts represent

The MARQUIS OF TWEEDALEDEE said, there was really no motion before the House.

LORD BRUFFAM (with much warmth).-Then I will make a motion. And I move accordingly for "a copy of the music executed upon the fiddle at the mass and funeral of PRINCE SCHWARTZENBERG by the British Ambassador; and, further, for the production of the fiddle itself; and, further, for the attendance of a professional fiddler to play before the House the composition of the noble Earl representing Her Britannic Majesty at the Court of Vienna; and at Prague fiddling in his official capacity for the repose of the soul of the late PRINCE SCHWARTZENBERG of odorous memory." Ordered.-Their Lordships then adjourned.

"THEODORE HOOK" ON THE CORN LAWS. THE Herald, in a profound article on the scarcity of bread and present general famine produced by the repeal of the Corn Laws, quotes HOOD's "Song of the Shirt," saying,

"Oh God!' wrote THEODORE HOOK, in his unrivalled picture of the misery of ill-requited industry, "That human flesh should be so cheap And bread should be so dear!'

How fearfully cheap' must free trade have made human flesh, when the cheapening of bread has not placed a single ounce of food additional within reach of our working Exactly what "Hook" prophesied, when he dedicated his

classes!"

"Ode on the Belly,

TO FITZROY KELLY."

The DUKE OF DITCHPOND thought the country had every right to congratulate itself upon being represented at so musical a Court as that of Vienna, by a nobleman who had it pleased destiny to have called him to that station-might have rivalled a COSTA, a MORI, or a PAGANINI. Happy was it for this country and Austria, so recently set together by the ears by the captious, and he would add the democratic, meddling of a late Minister-happy, he would say, was it for England that she possessed an Ambassador, who, like ORPHEUS of old, would, by the ravishment of his strains, turn the very heart of a Russian bear into a ball of honey, and-(here the noble Duke, dropping his voice, became inaudible.) The EARL OF GABERDEEN-as the consistent advocate of religious liberty-must express his satisfaction that the noble Earl at Vienna had so "improved" a mournful occasion as to make it a matter of renewed amity between both countries. The lamented PRINCE A NEW NAME FOR THE SOLICITOR-GENERAL.-SIR FITZ AND STARTS.

ordinary way to be cashed at an Australian bank, you carry a scoop into BANKING IN AUSTRALIA.-Instead of presenting a cheque in the the bank, and are sure to find the instrument duly honoured.

DESIGN FOR A BAS-RELIEF TO BE DEDICATED TO THE OLD WOMEN OF ENGLAND.

PARLIAMENTARY PASS-TIME.

THE EARL OF DERBY'S DIGGINS.

AS the object of the House of
VARIOUS important reflections are suggested by the statement of
Commons seems to LORD DERBY, in his speech at Goldsmiths Hall, that he had discovered
be to fill up as much a British mine, yielding abundance of gold in the form of statesmen.
time as possible in
The first is a familiar proverb, which may be illustrated by the remark
Motions by which that what pretends to be gold, turns out sometimes to be brass. Some
nothing moves, and may think that the PREMIER has rather discovered a mare's nest-or
in proposing Mea- the nest of another quadruped-than a gold mine. Among the officers
sures which termi- of state there is a Gold Stick, but we have yet to learn whether or not
nate always in mea- Perhaps his Lordship has discovered the philosopher's stone, and has
the DERBY Cabinet is simply composed of sticks of an ordinary kind.
sures of nothing but
space-we beg leave thus been enabled to convert certain leaden ore into a field of precious
to suggest a few metal; and, if country gentlemen may be regarded as pigs of lead, he
Notices that may be may be considered to have driven his pigs to a pretty market; at
least the pigs themselves will think so, should that market turn out
put upon the paper,
with all the effect to be Free Trade. The noble Earl's alacrity at turning things to gold
which the parties reminds us of Midas, and the resemblance may perhaps be thought to
seem to have in be completed by the style of jokes that he has got lately into the habit
view; namely, the
of making after dinner. We augur favourably from this disposition
useless prolongation to jocularity. It promises that his Lordship will become a Free Trader,
perceiving Protection to be no joke. At least he will see that a dear
bread Ministry can have no claim to those golden opinions that he
would claim for his Government, and is comparable, not to gold, but to
the baser metal of pinchbeck, or rather pinchbelly.

of the Session.

MR. CHRISTY: To ask for a return of the number of inhabitants of Vancouver's Island, distin

guishing the immediate descendants of VANCOUVER from the rest of the Natives; and also to inquire if there will be any objection to the production of a list of those engaged in the Mineral Trade, distinguishing the Miners from those of mature age.

MR. ANSTEY: On the Motion of the President of the Board of Control, relative to the Government of India-to move, by way of amendment, the addition of the following words :

That it be an instruction to any Committee which may be appointed upon any subject whatever, to include any other subject whatever; and that all British subjects in India may be relieved, as far as possible, from all improper burdens to which they may appear to be subjected." COLONEL THOMPSON: To move, in a Committe of Supply,

1. That one and one make two.

2. That good faith ought to be kept with the National Creditor. 3. That honesty is the best policy.

4. That it is not the interest of the community to defraud the Fundholder, who would in fact have no funds to hold if he were so defrauded.

LORD DUDLEY STUART: To move for copies or extracts of all documents relating to Kiutayah up to the present time.

MR. URQUHART: To move for copies of all the correspondence that has taken place between the Ameers of Ararat and the Nabob, on the subject of the debts of the latter; with copies of all writs that may or may not have been served upon him during the last thirty years.

MR. WILLIAMS: In Committee on General Board of Health Bill, to inquire whether Welchpool is dried up; and whether Hockley in the Hole, being situated in a hollow, it would not be, on the whole, better for Hockley that the hole should be filled up.

MR. DRUMMOND: To inquire of the Home Secretary, in reference to the National Land Scheme, whether he has thought proper to give directions for any inquest to be holden in consequence of SNIG'S melancholy end.

WHAT WILL THE DUKE OF BEAUFORT SAY? HER MAJESTY-contemptuous of the example of the DUKE OF BEAUFORT, who recently had certain of his tenants so well disciplined for the return of his son for Worcester-HER MAJESTY has issued her commands to the tradesmen of the Castle, that at the approaching election they shall do what they like with their own votes!

The royal butcher stands upon his own leg! The royal poulterer crows "GRENFELL!" or "REID!" and the royal butterman-vindicating the liberty of an unbiassed, unbought Englishman-throws his hustings' egg at either candidate!

Well, we must repeat the question-" What will the DUKE OF BEAUFORT say?"

New Simile:-"As Deaf as the House of Lords." WE continually read in the papers of the House of Lords, of causes and appeals "set down for hearing." As it is almost impossible to hear a word in that handsome, but exceedingly deaf, building, we should say, of all things in want of a hearing, that the House of Lords itself deserves the greatest "setting down."

HOMEOPATHIC REVELRY.

THE friends and supporters of the "London Homœopathic Hospital " held their anniversary festival the other day at the Albion. A dinner is a sensible thing, and therefore the votaries of Homoeopathy cannot be accused of unmitigated folly. The RIGHT HONOURABLE THE EARL OF ALBEMARLE presided as chairman; doubtless, this nobleman, so distinguished in the scientific world, so well qualified, by anatomical, physiological, nosological researches, to form a sound judgment on a medical question, considered well what he was about before lending his name and influence to a system which proclaims the whole science of medicine, as professed by the Colleges of Physicians and Surgeons, a mistake. The tickets, including wine, for this banquet, were a guinea each, which proves that the HAHNEMANNITES do not entirely carry out their principle of "similia similibus," as if they did, they would dine for the good of Homoeopathy on homoeopathic fare, eat infinitesimal globules of muscular and vegetable fibre, and drain goblets of proportionate contents, considerably more diminutive than the acorn cups of QUEEN MAB: to whose court homoeopathic doctors might well enough be physicians. Subscriptions and donations are received for this infinitesimal charity by certain bankers; but, neither are these contributions expected to be infinitesimal, or we should be disposed to beg the Homoeopathic Hospital's acceptance of the billionth part of a grain of the perspiration of a sovereign which had been subjected to Mosaic diaphoresis.

LOUIS NAPOLEON'S LAST CHANCE.

of the late conversion of the French 3 per cents:-
In his recent letter to the Times "An Englishman" remarks, speaking

"Concurrently with this financial 'operation,' an order was issued for 13 different costumes for 13 sets of functionaries. We are not informed if the Bank may make advances upon them, though the vast amount of the precious metals consumed in their decoration would perhaps warrant it in doing so."

In other words-there is a chance, this writer thinks, that the versatile Prince President (who is unquestionably the Governor of the Bank aforesaid) will shortly do a little State business in the Pawnbroking line! The conjecture is plausible, certainly; and we are in hourly expectation of a decree confirming it. For, surely our LITTLE NAP. will never lose the opportunity for so thoroughly assimilating himself to that often-apostrophised prototype of his"My Uncle!"

"Stand not upon the Order of your Going!"

Ir is said that a decree is about to appear in the Moniteur to settle the questions of precedence concerning the great bodies-which are in fact the great nobodies-of the State. Whatever may be the order of precedence settled by the Moniteur, it is probable that they will some day go all together, which will put an end to any difficulty as to which is to go first.

NASCITUR, NON FIT.

THE new Solicitor-General has shown so little knowledge of the statistics of Bread that, in spite of his high legal attainments, he would the Rolls.

A CYPRESS WREATH FOR THE CRYSTAL PALACE.-"It's the finest not, in the event of a vacancy, be well adapted to the Mastership of Palace going."