RATS. To get rid of rats, you have only to leave out for their supper a red herring, which you must first split open, and then heat it before the fire, while you put over and into it about

as much corrosive sublimate of mercury as would lie on a half-crown. The rats, when they have eaten of this, wil lshortly after adjourn to the water, and instead of returning, they drink themselves to death. This is a far more certain recipe to destroy rats than mercurial ointment. It may be worth while to observe also, that the corrosive sublimate of mercury is a never-failing remedy to destroy bugs, if mixed with spirits of wine, and well worked with a paint brush into the joints and crevices of furniture.

"CONVENIENT SPEED" AND FORTH WITH."--In Nov. 1822 an application was made to the Lord Chancellor to hear exceptions to the Master's Report with "convenient speed." The Lord Chancellor : "CONVENIENT SPEED means after all those cases that claim consideration are disposed of. I have known an instance where money was ordered to be paid into Court forthwith, and that meant, in fact, at the end of 19 years!"

CONNOISSEURS IN WINE.---It is rather diverting to hear some professed connoisseurs assert that they can nicely distinguish the vintages of particular years by their own taste; but they are not aware, perhaps, that even genuine wines are avowedly prepared for different climates; and that the strong body of Port is not merely inbroke generally produced two sorts of debted to the grape. Old Lord Pemwine, under the name of Port, at his table-one as imported from Oporto, the other manufactured by his own receipt at Wilton; and the latter was generally preferred !---(Cradock's Memoirs.)

To Correspondents.

We shall be glad to hear again from an Old as often as he pleases.—The party G. alludes to has rendered himself farther exposuresufficiently absurd already, and needs no

"Sacred to ridicule his whole life long, "And the sad burthen of some merry song."

G. Sneyd's "Scraps for the Curious have been so much relished by the majority of our readers, that he has been induced to undertake a regular continu ation of them, which we shall insert as often as may seem desirable.

LONDON--Printed and Published-by T. Willia Camden Town.

HAVING been staying two or three weeks since in the neighbourhood of Carlisle, I bethought myself that it would be a just punishment on me to be condemned to everlasting singleness—a fate the most abhorrent that can befal any man-if I did not visit the verdant spot, devoted to Hymen, and make known to the world all the information I could collect on so interesting a subject, for the benefit of all young ladies of ten thousand pounds and upwards, whose hearts never ceases to throb with the desire of being released from the controul of harsh and unreasonable parents, by leaping into the arms of some chivalrous swain, and galloping off in a chaise and four to this refuge for disobedient children. Afraid I might cut rather an awkward caper as a cavalier seul, rumour having spread far and wide that the parson had distinguished himself as an excellent bottle holder, I was determined to guard against danger, and decide the contest with him, by prevailing upon a gentleman to accompany me-luckless as my natal star has been, never having been able to impart to any lady, old or young, a portion of the romantic desire with which I burned to cross the borders in a chaise and four. Having succeeded in providing myself with a companion it became a

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question how we were to progress. Walk," said my friend, who was a famous pedestrian; "it is only 13 miles." Yes, and the same back," I replied; "besides how could you expect a Reverend Gentleman, whose company the highest and the noblest in the land court, for even a few moments to descend from his dignity, and receive us pedestrians?" friend, satisfied with the force of the objection, gave up his pedestrian scheme, and proposed riding, to which I readily assented, as a more agreeable and expeditious mode of travelling. We forthwith proceeded to a livery-stable to order horses. The hostler eyeing us closely, as if suspicion were already awakened, asked "whither, and how far we meant to bend our course?" 66 Only as far as Gretna-green," replied my friend. The hostler, with a shrug of his shoulders, and a half-suppressed smile that evinced his satisfaction at having discovered, as he supposed, the object of our journey, hurried to the stable, imagining that expedition was as necessary to us as to those who generally applied to him. "There," said he, are two as fleet horses as any in Cumberland; and the one that stands in harness there, knows the road to Gretna as well as she knows the way to yonder pond-once

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on the road there is not a horse in England or Scotland either, that would overtake her." "Perhaps," said I, "she is in readiness for somebody who is in on the road, and it would not be fair to take her." Yes," replied the hostler, "a gentleman wrote to have her ready this morning at six; but we have always one ready for people in a hurry, and as I suppose you are in as great haste as other folks, I don't see why you should not have her"-imagining, of course, that we were the avant couriers of some happy couple despatched to have the parson at his post. "So here is the gig, and I'll put her to it at once." In less than a minute we were seated,, and on the road to Gretna, which is nearly due north from Carlisle. You cross the Eden, which skirts Carlisle on the north side, by one of the finest bridges in the kingdom, and after ascending an eminence immediately on the other side, you take the centre of three roads, the other two leading to Dumfries and Newcastle. Along this road lies, Gretna-green, about thirteen miles from Carlisle. It is the main road to Glasgow, and one of the finest in the kingdom. It is broad, level, and the surface composed of the best Macadamized material. Oh! did but lovers know how much. they are indebted to you, Mr. M'Adam, for hastening them to the paradise of love, they would weave you a garland of roses, and crown you with immortality! This road seems made to give increased speed to the flight of lovers. The doves of Venus, harnessed to her golden chariot, and surrounded even with all her little Cupids, might wing their way over it, without disturbing the

ft voluptuousness of her repose. It is perfectly modern. There are no trences or dykes on either side, but a little ink, handsomely topped with a thick-set hedge. On the left for some miles there is a view of the

way,

Son tensive land. T not visible

and on both sides lies an exdat of rich and well cultivated The Scottish mountains are for some miles farther

north; but scenery, however bold or beautiful, would have little charms for those whose souls are wrapt up in breathless anticipation of the moment, when they may put pursuit at defiance, and be secure from the danger of premature detection.

In a short time we found ourselves on a very handsome bridge, which crosses the little river Sard, the boundary, between the Scottish and English land, which in days of yore has been the scene of many a well fought battle, and seen its waters stained with the blood of many a gallant borderer. Now on Scottish ground, we were informed at the turnpikegate, immediately at the foot of the bridge, that Gretna was but two miles distant.

Increasing our speed, we came to a point from which two roads branched, but so nearly parallel that it was a question of difficulty which to take. There was a sign post, but renowned as Gretna-green was, no finger with a name under was found pointing to this spot; the Commissioners of roads of course thinking they would be highly culpable if they afforded facility to the escape of undutiful children. The finger post pointed to the right as the raod to Glasgow, and the left to Annan. Associating Annan and Gretna as one and the same, we took this road, and after proceeding about a mile, reached the object of our journey. Gretna-green is a little spot consisting of an inn, or rather public-house, and two or three small houses; opposite the inn is a small space covered with grass, from which perhaps the place takes a portion of its name. We stopped in silence for a moment, expecting to hear the clank of the hammer and anvil-in vain we listened. We then looked for a forge, or for some person whose leathern apron and black visage might denote his ministerial calling. In vain we looked, till a good-natured man with a broad Scottish accent came up, and suspecting our business, asked if we wanted the parson ? Replying in the affirmative, he directed us to Springfield

small village, consisting of about 30 or 40 neat slated houses, less than a quarter of a mile south-east of Gret na-green, by a nasty rugged road This place seems to have been selected for its seclusion to avoid discovery. It is off the main road, and is hidden from view by a thick plantation. In this village there are two miserable inns, one as you enter, and the other at the farthest extremity. To the latter, which seemed the better, we drove. The villagers, on the first noise of the wheel, put their heads out of their doors and gazed on us as if we were the forerunners of a party that would soon follow; on alighting, we asked the landlord if the par sou was to be seen--"Yes," replied mine host, "walk up, and I'll send for him in a few minutes," showing us into his best room, that had witnessed the anxious moments of many a wedded pair. The furniture consisted of a few deal chairs, a couple of tables, and an old carpet. Having ordered some of the best Scotch whisky to fill up the intervail, we waited with impatience for the appearance of this celebrated agent of the holy alliance company. In a few minutes he was ushered in with due ceremony by the landlord, and we rising with becoming reverence made profound and respectful bows, and each taking an arm of a large arm chair, handed it to his hymeneal highness. He is tall and rather bulky in stature, about forty, and has a good and intelligent countenance, as far as could be seen through a bristly beard that had been the growth of at least a fortnight. His dress indicated that his profession cannot have been very profitable, or that he has paid more attention to the inner than the outer man. He wore an old shabby blue coat, a dirty marseilles waistcoat, and a pair of pantaloons embrowned by time-or rather, as it struck me at first, by mortar, for he looked more like a bricklayer than any thing else. Nothing could be more unclerical than his appearance. On being seated, he soon formed an acquaintance with the bottle, and tasting its contents in

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its purity, he assured us that our whisky was not the best. "There is," said he, a little barrel in the cellar of which the landlady keeps the key, and we will try a mutchkin of that," (a decanter containing about a pint.) A little servant girl presented herself at the sound of his voice, and he, with the authorative air of a pa tron, handing her the bottle, ordered her to tell the landlady to fill it out of the hidden barrel. She soon returned with the mutchkin full to the neck, and well did father Elliott, for this we discovered to be his name; judge of good whisky; it was he as sured us, the real mountain dew, the best stuff that ever was made-taking a glass of it and swallowing it wholesale, adding that water adulterated good whisky and spoiled its flavour. He never mixed water with whisky but when it was bad. He was disposed to give us a dissertation upon whisky, if we had not turned the conversation by asking him how long he had officiated in the service of Hymen. About fifteen years he re plied. On enquiring by what right he held it, or if it were a privilege attached to a particular family, “Well." said he with a smile, the mountain dew beginning to relax his austerity, "as you ask me, I will tell you.

There is another man who officiates here, but I call him an intruder." Interrupting him to ask the name of his competitor, he told us it was Lang. I gave my friend a wink, which he immediately understood, and leaving the room, he desired the servant to send for the other parson, whom we were most anxious to see in company with his rival, but unfortunately for the gratification of our curiosity he was not at home. Resuming his story, he continued, "The person who used to marry the gude folk that would come here, before me or Mr. Lang, was a Mr. Paisley, and there being, a great many years sin, a deal of law and dispute at London, before all the Judges, about a couple that he married, Paisley was sent for by the Judges to be examined in it. I think they call the case

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Montgomery against Montgomery. In his absence, if any folk came to be married, there would be nobody to do it, so he appointed old Lang_to act for him till he returned. But Lang making some money of it while Paisley was away, and being let into the secret, refused to give up his appointment, and continued to act till Paisley died, and since.” "Then we suppose your claim as the nearest relative of Paisley,' Yes, something in that way," replied our Rev. guest. "I married a daughter of Paisley's, and as he left no son, I thought I had best claim by right of inheritance to be the parson of Springfield; and giving up the business of seafaring, (for I had been a sailor a part of my life,) I turned to the business of splicing any folk that came to me, for life." Expressing our astonishment that he was not a son of Vulcan, for which he was set down by all the world, he smiled at our ignorance and took some pains to convince us that neither he nor his Rev. opponent were blacksmiths. "As for me,' continued he, "I am not even a Scotchman. I was born in Northumberland, and brought up as a weaver ; but I took it into my head to go to sea, and leaving that, I got married, and so here I am now, Parson Elliott," following the last word with another full glass. Anxious to get some information about the ceremony, he told us that he first asked the parties if they were willing to be wedded to each other, and on their answering yes, he proceeded with a very short form, time being precious, and in conclusion asked them to declare, the lady, that she was a wife, and the gentleman, the husband.This must be done before three witnesses, one of whom is always the post-boy on the wheel horse, because being nearest the party, he is considered the most likely to hear whether force or threat had been used to the lady, a free and uncontrolled declaration, being essential to the validity of the marriage. The landlady is generally the second witness, and the parson himself the third. He now

conducted us towards the end of the room, and opening a door which we had not before observed, and which was so constructed as to escape detection, when secresy was necessary, "Here," said he, "into this chamber I put them after the ceremony, and see them under the blanket-this being a necessary part of the ceremony whenever it is possible to do it. It is my business to make the marriage as complete as I can, lest they should be detected before they leave the house, or seized on their way back." Though the effects of the dew were now becoming very visible on our Rev. guest, we could not extract from him the rate of fees. "I get as much as I can," said he (of which we had no doubt); "different folks pay me differently; but I have a hard life of it, and ought to be well paid. Here I am, like an officer on parole I can't go beyond a certain boundary"-pointing through the window to the limits within which he was shut up, lest some party should come before his return, and their hopes of fortune and happiness be for ever blasted by his absence. He limited the legality of these marriages to the small district of Springfield. Where his interest was so deeply concerned, it was in vain to attempt to convince him that a marriage with the same forms was equally valid in any part of Scotland, and that this spot was selected only because it was nearest the English border. Immediately after the ceremony, the parties return, and are married again, as soon as they can, in England. We asked him to show his register; but he seemed very unwilling, till témpted with a bribe. I offered him five shillings for a peep. He pressed for ten, but at length consented to take the five shillings, on the addition of another mutchkin of mountain dew. He went to a small house at the opposite side of the way, and returned with it; but refused to open it till the money was desposited in his pocket-adding, that he never did any thing till he was first paid. I paid him, but not without some reluctance, and the register