But, my lord, it's no bounce: I protest in my turn It's a truth and your lordship may ask Mr. Burn.* To go on with my tale-as I gaz'd on the haunch, I thought of a friend that was trusty and staunch; So I cut it, and sent it to Reynolds undrest, To paint it, or eat it, just as he lik'd best : Of the neck and the breast I had next to dispose ; Twas a neck and a breast that might rival Monroe's: But in parting with these I was puzzled again, With the how, and the who, and the where, and the when There's H-d, and C-y, and H-rth, and H-ff, For making a blunder, or picking a bone. An acquaintance, a friend as he call'd himself, enter'd; An under-bred, fine-spoken fellow was he, And he smil'd as he look'd at the ven'son and me. "What have you got here ?-Why this is good eating! Your own I suppose--or is it in waiting?" * Lord Clare's nephew. 'Why whose should it be ?" cried I with a flounce; I get these things often"—but that was a bounce; "Some lords, my acquaintance, that settle the nation, Are pleas'd to be kind-but I hate ostentation." Thus snatching his hat, he brush'd off like the wind, Left alone to reflect, having emptied my shelf, And" nobody with me at sea but myself;"* [hasty, Though I could not help thinking my gentleman Yet Johnson, and Burke, and a good venison pasty, Were things that I never dislik'd in my life. Though clogg'd with a coxcomb, and Kitty his wife. See the letters that passed between his Royal Highness Henry Duke of Cumberland, and Lady Grosvenor. So next day, in due splendour to make my approach, I drove up to his door in my own hackney-coach. When come to the place where we were all to dine (A chair-lumber'd closet just twelve feet by nine,) My friend bade me welcome, but struck me quite dumb With tidings that Johnson and Burke would not come; "For I knew it," he cried, both eternally fail, The one with his speeches, and t'other with Thrale ; In the middle a place where the pasty-was not. With his long-winded speeches, his smiles, and his brogue, And, "madam," quoth he, may this bit be my poison, A prettier dinner I never set eyes on; Pray a slice of your liver, though may I be curst, But I've eat of your tripe till I'm ready to burst." "The tripe," quoth the Jew, with his chocolate cheek, "I could dine on this tripe seven days in the week; I like these here dinners so pretty and small; But your friend there, the doctor, eats nothing at all." [trice, "O-ho!" quoth my friend, "he'll come on in a He's keeping a corner for something that's nice : There's a pasty"-" A pasty !" repeated the Jew; "I don't care if I keep a corner for't too."— "What the de'il, mon, a pasty !" re-echo'd the Scot; "Though splitting, I'll still keep a corner for that." "We'll all keep a corner," the lady cried out; "We'll all keep a corner," was echo'd about. While thus we resolv'd and the pasty delay'd, With looks that quite petrified, enter'd the maid; A visage so sad, and so pale with affright, Wak'd Priam, in drawing his curtains by night. But we quickly found out (for who could mistake her?) That she came with some terrible news from the baker. And so it fell out, for that negligent sloven To be plain, my good lord, it's but labour misplac'd, |