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Sour. I'll teach him "Tis certainly Mr. Rigaut, my botary; I know who it is, let him come io. Could he find no time but this to bring me money? Plague take the blockhead!
Enter DANCING-MASTER and his FIDDLER. Sour. This is not my man. Who are you, with your compliments ?
Dan. Mast. (Bowing often) I am called Rigaudon, Sir, at your service.
Sour. (To Jenny.) Have not I seen that face somewhere before ?
Jenny. There are a thousand people like one another.
Sour. Give it to me I would faio know who taught Clarissa to fold a letter thus. What contains it?
Jenny. (Aside, while he unfolds the letter.) A lover, I believe, never complained of that before.
Sour. (Reads.) “Every body says I am to marry the most brutal of men. I would disabuse them; and for that reason you and I must begio the ball to-night.” She is mad!
Dan. Mast. Go on, pray Sir.
Sour. (Reads.) “You told me you cannot dance; but I have sent you the first man in the world."
(Sourby looks at him from head to foot.)
Sour. (Reads.) Who will teach you in less than an hour enough to serve your purpose." I learn to dance!
Dan. Mast. Finish, if you please.
Sour. “And if you love me, you will learn the Allemande.” The Allemande! I, the Allemande! Mr. the first man in the world, do you know you are iu some danger here?
Dan. Mast. Come, Sir, in a quarter of an hour, you shall dance to a miracle!
Sour. Mr. Rigandon, do you know I will send you out of the window if I call my servauts ?
Dan. Mast. (Bidding his man play.) Come, brisk, this little
prelude will put you in humour; you must be held by the hand : or have you some steps of your own?
Sour. Unless you put up that d-d fiddle, I'll beat it about your ears.
Dan. Mast. Zounds, Sir! if you are thereabouts, you shall dance presently — I say presently.
Sour. Shall I dance, villain ?
Dan. Mast. Yes. By the heavens above shall you dance. I have orders from Clarissa to make you dance. She has paid me, and dance you shall; first, let him go out. (He draws his sword, and puts it under his arm.
Sour. Ah! I 'in dead. What a madmap has this woman sent me!
Jenny. I see I must interpose. Stay you there, Sir; let me speak to him; Sir, pray do us the favour to go and tell the lady, that it's disagreeable to my master.
Dan. Mast. I will have him dance.
Sour. (Taking her aside.) Yes, tell him that when he will, without costing him a farthing, I'll bleed and purge him his bellyfull.
Dan. Mast. I have nothing to do with that; I 'll have him dance, or have his blood.
Sour. The rascal! (muttering.)
Jenny. Sir, I can't work upon him; the madman will not hear reason; some harm will happen
we are alone.
Jenny. Aye, you may cry for help; do you know that all your neighbours would be glad to see you robbed and your
throat cut? Believe me, Sir, two Allemande steps may save your life.
Sour. But if it should come to be known, I should be taken for
Jenny. Love excuses all follies; and I have heard say that when Hercules was in love, he spun for Queen Omphale.
Sour. Yes, Hercules spun, but Hercules did not dance the Allemande.
Jenny. Well, you must tell him so; the gentleman will teach you another.
Dan. Mast. Will you have a minuet, Sir?
Dan, Mast. What then? the trocandy, the tricotez , the rigadon? Come, choose, choose.
Sour. No, no, no, I like none of these.
our. Yes, a serious one, if there be apy-but a very serious dance.
Dan. Mast. Well, the courante, the bornpipe, the brocane, the saraband?
Sour. No, no, no!
Dan. Mast. What the devil then will you have? But make haste or death!
Sour. Come on then, since it must be so; I 'll learn a few steps of the -- the
Dan. Mast. What of the the
Dan. Mast, You mock me, Sir; you shall dance the Allemande, since Clarissa will have it so, or
[He leads him about, the fiddle playing the Allemande. Sour. I shall be laughed at by the whole towo if it should be known. I am determined, for this frolic, to deprive Clarissa of that invaluable blessing, the possession of my person.
Dan. Mast. Come, come, Sir, move, move. (teaching him.)
Dan. Mast. One, two, three! (teaching.)
Enter WENTWORTH. Oh! brother, you are come in good time to free me from this cursed bondage.
Went. How! for shame brother, at your age to be thus foolish.
Sour. As I hope for mercy
Went. For shame, for shame practising at sixty what should have been finished at six.
Dan. Mast. He's not the only grown gentleman I have had in hand.
Went. Brother, brother, you 'll be the mockery of the whole city.
Sour. Eternal babbler! bear me; this curs'd confounded villain will make me dance perforce.
Sour. Yes; by order, he says, of Clarissa; but since I now find she is unworthy, I give her up renounce her for ever. [The young couple enter immediately after this declaration, and
finding no farther obstruction to their union, the piece finishes with the consent of the Grumbler, “in the hope," as he says, “that they are possessed of mutual requisites to be the plague of each other."]