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of my old friend, Sir Charles Marlow, of whom you have heard me talk so often. The young gentleman has been bred a scholar, and is designed for an employment in the service of his country. told he 's a man of an excellent understanding.
Miss Hard. My dear papa, say no more (kissing his hand), he's mine; I'll have him.
Hard. And, to crown all, Kate, he's one of the most bashful and reserved young fellows in all the world.
Miss Hard. Eh! you have frozen me to death again. That word reserved has undone all the rest of his accomplishments. A reserved lover, it is said, always makes a suspicious husband.
Hard. On the contrary, modesty seldom resides in a breast that is not enriched with nobler virtues. It was the very feature in his character that first struck me.
Miss Hard. He must have more striking features to catch me, I promise you. However, if he be so young, so handsome, and so every thing as you mention, I believe he 'll do still. I think I'll have him.
Hard. Ay, Kate, but there is still an obstacle. It's more than an even wager he may not have you.
Miss Hard. My dear papa, why will you mortify one so? Well, if he refuses, instead of breaking my heart at his indifference, I'll only break my glass for its flattery, set my cap to some newer fashion, and look out for some less difficult admirer.
Hard. Bravely resolved! In the mean time I'll go prepare the servants for his reception: as we seldom see company, they want as much training as a company of recruits the first day's
Miss Hard. (Alone.) Lud, this news of papa's puts me all in a flutter. Young, handsome; these he put last; but I put them foremost. Sensible, good-natured; I like all that. But then
reserved and sheepish, that's much against him. Yet can't he be cured of his timidity, by being taught to be proud of his wife? Yes; and can't I — But I vow I'm disposing of the husband before I have secured the lover.
Enter Miss NEVILLE.
Miss Hard. I'm glad you 're come, Neville, my dear. Tell me, Constance, how do I look this evening? Is there any thing whimsical about me? Is it one of my well-looking days, child? Am I in face to-day?
Miss Nev. Perfectly, my dear. Yet now I look again bless me! sure no accident has happened among the canary birds or the gold fishes! Has your brother or the cat been meddling? or has the last novel been too moving?
Miss Hard. No; nothing of all this. I have been threatened -I can scarce get it out I have been threatened with a lover. Miss Nev. And his name
The sou of Sir Charles Marlow.
Miss Nev. As I live, the most intimate friend of Mr. Hastings, my admirer. They are never asunder. I believe you must have seen him when we lived in town.
Miss Hard. Never.
He's a very singular character, I assure you. Among women of reputation and virtue he is the modestest man alive; but his acquaintance give him a very different character among creatures of another stamp: you understand me.
Miss Hard. An odd character indeed. I shall never be able to manage him. What shall I do? Pshaw, think no more of him, But how goes on your own
but trust to occurrences for success. affair, my dear? has my mother been courting you for my brother Tony as usual?
Miss Nev. I have just come from one of our agreeable tête-àtétes. She has been saying a hundred tender things, and setting off her pretty monster as the very pink of perfection.
Miss Hard. And her partiality is such, that she actually
thinks him so. A fortune like yours is no small temptation. Besides, as she has the sole management of it, I'm not surprised to see her unwilling to let it go out of the family.
Miss Nev. A fortune like mine, which chiefly consists in jewels, is no such mighty temptation. But at any rate, if my dear Hastings be but constant, I make no doubt to be too hard for her at last. However, I let her suppose that I am in love with her son; and she never once dreams that my affections are fixed upon another.
Miss Hard. My good brother holds out stoutly. I could almost love him for hating you so.
Miss Nev. It is a good-natured creature at bottom, and I'm sure would wish to see me married to any body but himself. But my aunt's bell rings for our afternoon's walk round the improvements. Allons! Courage is necessary, as our affairs are critical. Miss Hard. "Would it were bed-time, and all were well."
Several shabby Fellows with punch and tobacco. TONY at the head of the table, a little higher than the rest, a mallet in his hand.
Omnes. Hurrea! hurrea! hurrea! bravo!
First Fellow. Now, gentlemen, silence for a song. The 'Squire is going to kuock himself down for a song.
Omnes. Ay, a song, a song!
Tony. Then I'll sing you, gentlemen, a song I made upon this alehouse, the Three Pigeons.
Let schoolmasters puzzle their brain,
With grammar, and nonsense, and learning,
Good liquor, I stoutly maintain,
Gives genius a better discerning.
Let them brag of their heathenish gods,
Their Lethes, their Styxes, and Stygians,
Their quis, and their quae's, and their quods,
They 're all but a parcel of pigeons.
Toroddle, toroddle, toroll
When methodist preachers come down,
They always preach best with a skinful.
I'll leave it to all men of sense,
But you, my good friend, are the pigeon.
Toroddle, toroddle, toroll.
Then come put the jorum about,
And let us be merry and clever,
Our hearts and our liquors are stout,
Here's the Three Jolly Pigeons for ever.
Let some cry up woodcock or hare,
Your bustards, your ducks, and your widgeons;
But of all the gay birds in the air,
Here's a health to the Three Jolly Pigeons.
Omnes. Bravo, bravo!
Toroddle, toroddle, toroll.
First Fellow. The 'Squire has got spunk in him.
Sec. Fellow. I loves to hear him sink, bekeays he never gives us nothing that's low.
Third Fellow. O damn any thing that 's low, I cannot bear it. Fourth Fellow. The genteel thing is the genteel thing any time: if so be that a gentleman bees in a concatenation accordingly.
Third Fellow. I like the maxum of it, Master Muggins. What, though I am obligated to dance a bear, a man may be a gentleman for all that. May this be my poison, if my bear ever dances but to the very genteelest of tunes; "Water Parted," or "The minuet in Ariadne."
Sec. Fellow. What a pity it is the 'Squire is not come to his own. It would be well for all the publicans within ten miles round of him.
Tony. Ecod, and so it would, Master Slang. I'd then show what it was to keep choice of company.
Sec. Fellow. O he takes after his own father for that. To be sure old 'Squire Lumpkin was the finest gentleman I ever set my For winding the straight horn, or beating a thicket for a hare, or a wench, he never had his fellow. It was a saying in the
place, that he kept the best horses, dogs, and girls, in the whole county.
Tony. Ecod, and when I'm of age, I'll be no bastard, I promise you. I have been thinking of Bet Bouncer and the miller's grey mare to begin with. But come, my boys, drink about and be merry, for you pay no reckoning. Well, Stingo, what's the matter?
Land. There be two gentlemen in a post-chaise at the door. They have lost their way upo' the forest; and they are talking something about Mr. Hardcastle.
Tony. As sure as can be, one of them must be the gentleman that 's coming down to court my sister. Do they seem to be Londoners?
Land. I believe they may. They look woundily like French
Tony. Then desire them to step this way, and I'll set them right in a twinkling. (Exit Landlord.) Gentlemen, as they mayn't be good enough company for you, step down for a moment, and I'll be with you in the squeezing of a lemon. [Exeunt Mob.
Tony. (Alone.) Father-in-law has been calling me whelp and hound this half-year. Now if I pleased, I could be so revenged upon the old grumbletonian. But then I 'm afraid afraid of what? I shall soon be worth fifteen hundred a-year, and let him frighten me out of that if he can.
Enter LANDLORD, conducting MARLOW and HASTINGS. Marl. What a tedious uncomfortable day have we had of it! We were told it was but forty miles across the country, and we have come above threescore.
Hast. And all, Marlow, from that unaccountable reserve of yours, that would not let us inquire more frequently, on the way.
Marl. I own, Hastings, I am unwilling to lay myself under an obligation to every one I meet, and often stand the chance of an unmannerly answer.
Hast. At present, however, we are not likely to receive any