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boy Tom, who is now at home for the holidays, came up to me yesterday, and told me that, having lately overheard us at our "Groans," he had bethought himself of setting down a few "School-miseries”—and so put them into my hands. I was pleased at the circumstance, as it served to shew, that even boyhood, the happiest period of man's life, and school-days, which we are apt to consider as the happiest part of that happiest time, are by no means exempt from the general tax upon living and breathing:nay, even my last little one, now at the breast, told me, half an hour ago, as plain as a baby could speak it, of an infantine misery; viz. 6. (Testy's Baby.)

Sucking at a dry mother.

Well, but now to poor Tom's list, which, I see, he has entitled

TEN SCHOOL-MISERIES.

7. (Tom T.)

1. Waking, in a bitter winter-morning, with the recollection that you are immediately to get up

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by candle-light, out of your snug warm bed, to shiver out to school, through the snow, for the purpose of being flogged as soon as you arrive.

Hay, Sensitive?—I don't think the blackest beard among us can go beyond that!-This Misery is what I would call a mental cold pig.

8. (Tom T.)

2. Seeing the boy who is next above you flogged for a repetition which you know you cannot say even half so well as he did.

9. (Tom. T.)

3. At cricket-After a long and hard service of watching out, being bowled out at the first ball. Likewise, playing at cricket on very sloppy ground, so that your hard ball presently becomes muddy, sappy, and rotten :-a jarring bat:-a right-hand bat for a left-handed player: -a hat for a wicket, when no stumps can be found.

10. (Tom T.)

4. Winding up a top badly grooved, so that the string bunches down over the peg; the con

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sequence of which is that, on your attempting to peg it down into the ring, volat vi fervidus. axis :”—(Vir.) it flies into the eye of a playfellow.

11. (Tom T.)

5. Your hoop breaking, and then trundling lame, and perpetually tripping you up, as you boggle along with it; the other boys, with good hoops, leaving you miles behind.

12. (Tom T.)

6. Your stocking perpetually coming down as you run, and bagging below your shoe, so as to be trampled in the dirt, (which is all, by and bye, to be snugly buttoned to your flesh,) and throw you down:-no garters, except twine, which you are, at last, obliged to use, though it cuts to the bone.

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13. (Tom. T.)

7. Being obliged to take a severe licking from a boy who is twice as big, but not half so brave, as yourself; then, being flogged for fighting, because you, at first, aimed one blow, which, however, did not reach the long-armed rascal. 14. (Tom T.)

8. At dinner-the joint lasting only as low

down as the boy immediately above you :-you are too stout to eat bread, and so go starved, and broken-hearted, into school.

15. (Tom T.)

9. Fagging for a niggardly glutton, who does not leave you even the scraps of what you have stolen and dressed for him.

16. (Tom T.)

10. Being made to stay in on a whole holiday, for another boy's fault, falsely charged upon yourself:-very fine day; and the distant noise of all the other boys at play continually heard by you, as you mope, alone, in the house.

"Sternitur infelix alieno vulnere, coelumque Aspicit, et dulces moriens reminiscitur Argos."

Vir.

Sen. Well said, my noble boy!—we will swear him, like another infant Hannibal, to eternal hatred against our enemies.—In the mean time, having now finished our survey of diversions abroad, we will now walk in, if you please, and try whether the House has any thing better to shew than the fields.-The first article on my list is Dancing.

17. (S.)

Blundering in the figure all the way down a country-dance, with a charming partner, to whom you are a perfect stranger; and who, consequently, knows nothing of you but your awkwardness.

Tes. That offence may be forgiven, however;-not so the following:

18. (T.)

Entering into the figure of a country dance with so much spirit, as to force your leg and foot through the muslin drapery of your fair partner.

Sen. Oh! there I feel for you indeed !—

Mrs. T. (who during this, and a few of the other dialogues, is sitting at work in another part of the room.) "Your feelings," Mr. Sensitive!- Deuce take it!" my feelings," if you please; you seem to leave the poor lady, and her ruined petticoat, quite out of the account!

Tes. Pho, pho! Mrs. T.- the petticoat may be mended again, and there would be

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