Imatges de pàgina

4. If you are afflicted with a trick of blushing, reading in the complacent smile of a coxcomb who has accosted you, that he thinks you are interested in his attentious.


A carriage which is of little or no use to you, because your coachman generally chooses either to be sick himself, or that his horses should be lame :-yet you are afraid to part with him, as, unluckily, he is a careful driver, and extremely sober, and you a great coward.


A termagant cook, who suffers neither yourself nor your servants to have a moment's peace - yet as she is an excellent cook, and


hus. band a great epicure, (excuse me, Mr. Testy,) you are obliged to smother your feelings, and seem both blind and deaf to all her tantrums,

7. Working, half-asleep, at a beautiful piece of fine netting, in the evening and on returning to it in the morning, discovering that you have totally ruined it.

Ned Tes.

postquam inter retia ventum est, Substitit, infremuitque ferox, et inhorruit armos !"

Vir, Tes. 'Twas a very hard case, my dear ;

opere in longo, fas est obrepere som num:


as the Fates ought to have considered.


Snapping your netting-thread quite close to your work, so that you cannot join it without picking out the knot, in doing which you break two or three loops.

9. Being disappointed by a hair-dresser on a ballnight, when you have left your hair totally uncurled, in full dependence upon him: in this emergency, being obliged to accept the offered services of a kind female friend, who makes you an absolute fright; but she being much older than yourself, and of acknowledged judgment, you dare not pull it all to pieces, and if you should, you have neither time nor skill to put it to rights again.

10. At a ball-being asked by two or three puppies why you don't dance ?"_and asked no more questions, by these, or any other gentlemen, on the subject :-on your return home, being pestered with examinations and cross examina. tions, whether you danced - with whom you danced-why you did not dance--&c. &c.; the friend with whom you went complaining, all the time, of being worried to death with solicitations to dance, the whole evening.


At a long table, after dinner, having the eyes of the whole company drawn upon you by a loud observation that you are strikingly like Mrs. or Miss particularly when you smile.


The only thimble which you ever could get to fit you exactly, rolling off the table unheeded,

then crushed to death in a moment by the splay foot of a servant:


After having consumed three years on a piece of fine netting, which has been the wonder of the female world, leaving it, on the very day when you have finished it, in the hackney-coach in which you were exultingly carrying it to the friend whom you intended to surprize with it as a present: afterwards, repeatingly advertisingall in vain.


After dinner, when the ladies retire with you from a party of very pleasant gentlemen, having to entertain, as you can, half a score of empty, or formal females, en attendant the arrival of the gentlemen : then, after a decent time has elapsed, and your patience and topics are equally exhausted, ringing for the tea, &c. which you sit making in despair, for above two hours; having, three or four times, sent word to the gentlemen that it is ready, and having overheard your husband, at the last message, answer 66 Very well

another bottle of wine.” By the time that the tea and coffee are quite cold, the gentlemen arrive, continuing, as they enter, and for an hour afterwards, their political disputes, occasionally suspended, on the part of the master of the house, by a reasonable complaint to his lady, at the coldness of the coffee ; soon after, the carriages are announced, and the visitors disperse.


On retiring, after dinner, without a female companion, being requested by one of the party to permit a stupid gawky boy of about 14 to accompany you: in this distress, you can neither have recourse to books, of which he knows nothing, nor to music, which he declares himself to hate; so that, after having extorted from him how many brothers and sisters he has, what school he goes to, and what are the games now in season, you are condemned to utter silence, which is interrupted only by the squeaks of your favourite puppy or kitten, as he amuses, bimself by pinching and plaguing it during the remainder of the tete-a-tete.

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