Imatges de pÓgina
PDF
EPUB

DIALOGUE THE ELEVENTH.

MISERIES PERSONAL, OR OF THE BODY.

Testy Senior and Junior-Sensitive.

[Testy is muffled up about the face, with his

handkerchief to his nose.]

Sensitive. How now; Sir?

Tes. How ?-I will answer you in a moment.

GROAN 1. (T.) A villainous cold in the head; blowing your nose lustily and frequently, till you are a walking nuisance to all around you-but without any fruits, except a sharp twinging sensation in the nostrils, as the passages which you have forced open, close up again, accompanied by a shrill, singing whistle ; - not to mention the necessity of disgusting yourself and friends by pronouncing M, like B, and N like D, till you are well.

Sen. Bad enough — but I have a worse, just now coming upon me.

2. (S.) Being on the bri .... on the bri .... on the bri ... on the br

...... (sneezes) .... ink of a sneeze for a quarter of an hour together; and yet, with all your gasping, and sobbing, never able to com

pass it.

Tes. I must go

back to

my

cold :

3. (T.) When you have such a cold as this, being obliged, by having used up your stock of pockethandkerchiefs before you were aware, to go on upon one muckender through the rest of the complaint,- till at last you hunt in vain for a fresh place.

4. (S.) Bending back the finger-nail-or even thinking of it.

(Here a violent shriek from Mrs. Testy.) Tes. What now, Mrs. Testy?

Mrs. Tes. What ? Why a much worse thing than Mr. Sensitive just now mentioned -what think you of

5. (Mrs. T.) Receiving the first hint that your thimble has a hole worn through it, from the needle, as it runs, bead and shoulders, under the nail.

6. (T.) The sensation, from the hip downward, when your foot has been asleep, and before the con. founded shooting, which you have next to expect, has yet come on.

7. (T.) Dreaming that you have a locked jaw, and seeming to wrench open your own head, in you convulsive efforts to speak or gape.

8. (T.) A dozen hiccups in the same breath.

9. (S.) In your sick-chamber, receiving a large parcel, which you expect to contain interesting books, or dainties, sent for your comfort by some kind friend ; and, on eagerly opening it, finding only á myriad of fresh phials, and packets of medicines—and this, too, when you thought you had done with the doctor.

10. (S.) Waiting for the operation of an emetic.

Tes. Waiting for it?-pho, pho! - the operation itself is quite bad enough for meto sit by the hour, groaning, and hoping that each pull will be the last :

expectat dum defluat amnis ; at ille Labitur, et labet ur !

Hor.

again! A louder yet, and yet a louder strain !!

Dry. And so you go on, as long as you can answer the draughts of the confounded chamomiletill at last you fail, by being over-drawn ! Waiting for it, indeed !

[merged small][ocr errors]

66 Prato vivere naso.(Hor:) i.e. A deep notch cut by an east wind under each nostril, which you afresh every

time

you blow your nose.

tear open

Also-and this is a pleasure I have soon to expect)

12. (T.)

The state of your mouth at the winding up of a tremendous cold-your lips being metamor. phosed into two boiling barrels, totally disqualified for the functions of eating, speaking, laughing, gaping, whistling, and-kissing,

[ocr errors]

Sen. Nay, as to your last article, when I am in this vile condition, I let the ladies know nothing of the matter6 Necdum illis labra admoveo, sed condita

servo.”

Virg.

13. (T.)
Suddenly and violently scratching your ear,

« AnteriorContinua »