Imatges de pÓgina

Tes. A plaguy instance of Virgil's “maa jorque videri !”-I must own.

114. (S.) Being startled from your slumbers, all night long, by your windows violently thumping, by fits, in the wind; or the floors and wainscoat of your chamber, stretching and cracking like ship, &c. &c.-till, at last, if you have any nerves,

you go mad.

115. (T.) The shrill tiny buzz, or whizz, of gnats about your eyes, nose, and ears, through a sultry night.

Sen. Bad enough ;-however, (as we ought to draw good out of evil, you know, whenever we can,) the little imps at least prevent you from over-sleeping yourself!

116. (S.) Finding that you have farvery far- very far indeed-- from enough bed-clothes, as you get into bed, in a bitter night, long after all the house is asleep.

117. (T. Being driven from one corner of the bed to another by the sharp points of feathers, which stand


to receive you, on whichever side you turn :-omne tulit punctum !-Hor.

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Sen, “ Restless he toss'd and tumbled, to and fro, And roll’d, and wriggled farther off, for woe!”

Dryd. IVife of Bath.

118. (T.) Waking with the pain of finding that you are doing your best to bite your own tongue off.

Ned Tes. Nay then, do as Virgil advises in the case :

Cingite, ne-noceat mala lingua."

119. (T.)
The sheet untucked, or too short, so as to
bring the legs into sudden contact with the

120. (T.)
Being serenaded at your window, all night

long, by the tender war-whoop of two cats, performed with all their demoniacal variations.

121. (T.) Breaking the strings of your last night-cap in tying it on.

122. (T.) On going early to bed, with a violent fit of the ague, and entering your chamber in full expectation of finding the coast clear-finding, on the contrary, the bed not turned down, and a gauche dawdle of a maid just beginning to introduce the warming-pan between the sheets.

123. (S.) When you are confined to your bed by sick. ness—the humours of a hired Nurse ; who, among other attractions, likes “ a drap of comfortleaves your door wide open

- stamps about the chamber like a horse in a ship — slops you, as you lie, with scalding possets--attacks the fire, instead of stirring it,-falls into a dead sleep the moment before you want her, and then snores you down when you call to her-wakes you at the wrong hour, to take your physic, and then gives you a dose of aqua-fortis for a composingdraught! &c. &c. &c.

124. (T.) The flame (but not the smell) of your candle going out, as you like sick and sleepless ; leaving you, at once,

" Pertasum thalami, tædæque.”


125. (S.) Suddenly recollecting, as you lie at a very late hour of a very killing night, that you have neglected to see, as usual, that the fires are all safe, below; - then, after an agonizing interval of hesitation, crawling out, like a culprit, and quivering down stairs.

Tes. You have robbed me, Sensitive ;-all this happened to me last night, as I was just thinking to tell you :-O it was a snug job, to be sure !-as to myself, I had no scruple in determining that it would have been a world pleasanter, in such a night as that, to be burnt than frozen to death; but as Madam, there, seemed to think she had a sort of right to be consulted upon that point, and did not agree with me after all,-why, I e'en gave myself up to my fate.

Sen. I am sorry to have unintentionally foreclosed one of your best evils ;- but there seems to be one more at the end of

your list, which, if I may judge by its length, must be at least as rich in wretchedness as' any that has been yet detailed.

Tes. Pretty well for that, I confess; it's like a Lady's Postscript, which, they tell you, contains the essence of the letter; and so

here goes:

126. (T.) Sleeping, on a sudden emergency, at a poor lodging-house, et ses agrémens ; — farthing-candle, without snuffers, or extinguisher-no nightcap, or a stretching cotton one, that takes in your shoulders-pillow left out-sheets of the sail-kind, newly sprinkled for the gentleman knotty mattrass - no soap - only rain-water, and that a spoonful in a wine-bottle, all black at the bottom-no tumbler for your mouth, or one of the size of an ice glass — but one towel, or


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