« AnteriorContinua »
rooms in a house besides the dining room, you know-and this leads me to propose these as the next subject of our animadversions, under the general title of “ Miseries domestic.”
Tes. A better there cannot be, and I will again undertake to play my part to admiration—whatever Madam Testy, in the corner, yonder, may think of the matter. You can't propose a meeting upon it too early for metomorrow, if you please : I shall handle this subject con amore, and have a furious longing to open my mouth upon it.
Sen. It must be not only tomorrow, but “ tomorrow, and tomorrow, and tomorrow," if we mean to exhaust it;-as there is so much to be said, then, we cannot begin too soon, as you say; and especially, as the sorrows we have in view may be said to come so very home to us, and, (in the mercantile language,) are so constantly " in the course of arrival,” that we require no preparation, as on most former occasions.
Tes. Breakfast, and pass the day with me
tomorrow :-if we begin then, we shall have the better chance of coming to a conclusion by bed-time
Sen. I will attend you; and, short as the notice is, I engage that the list will be lengthened, on both sides, by many a Groan that will escape us in the interval.
Tes. Ten o'clock precisely, mind,--or I sit down without you.
DIALOGUE THE TENTH.
MISERIES DOMESTIC ; INCLUDING THE DRESSING ROOM, AND BED CHAMBER.
Testy, Senior and Junior.--Sensitive. (Testy's
Testy. Sit down, Sensitive; sit down. I wish you may be able to make out any thing like a meal ; we should have had a rare opportunity for remarks, here, if we had not lately taken such good care of the breakfast-table in that way. As it is, inake yourself as little of a wretch as you can.-You would have had neither tea nor sugar, I can tell you, if I had not kicked
the tea-chest, a minute before you came in ; for Mrs. Testy, as usual with
her when she gads, has gadded off with every key in the house.—Coine, begin, begin have ordered as few things as possible for your breakfast, that you may have a negative chance of comfort, at least. I have taken care that there should be no coffee for you, --for there is not a jade, or å sebundrel in my kitchen, that I could ever yet get to wait for the third bubble ;- nor any cocoa, neither,--for I would not poison you with a thousand bubbles, which they do wait for; and as for cold meat, and such things, I should be sorry to give my friend the orts of the cat, who, they always contrive, should be first served, by carefully leaving open the pantry door : I'll order up some butter, if you desire it - you'll only excuse me from tasting it when it comes, that's all !
Sen. You are very attentive, indeed, my good sir;-and I will make the best of what remains, after you have so kindly impoverished the table for my benefit.
Tes. Well, but there is no tiine to be lost, you know-we have only one whole day before us, into which we have to cram the crosses of our whole domestic lives past :besides, I am so fearful of forgetting a groan extorted from me, two hours ago, by one of my female “ caterpillars," (as a friend of mine ought to be worshipped for having nicknamed servants,) that I must have it out at once :
GROAN 1. (T.) Getting up early in a cold gloomy morning, (quite enough already, you'll say, but that's not half of it,)—and on running down into the breakfast-room for warmth and comfort, finding chairs, tables, shovel, poker, tongs, and fender, huddled into the middle of the room dust flying in all directions
-Carpet tossed back. wards-floor newly washed-windows wide open -bees-wax; brush, and rubber in one cornerbrooms, mops, and pails in another-and a dingy drab on her knees, before an empty grate.
There is a set of diamonds for our cabi.