Dr. Goldsmith and some of his friends occasionally dined at the St. James's Coffee-house.-One day it was proposed to write epitaphs on him. His country, dialect, and person furnished, subjects of witticisin. He was called on for RETALIATION, and at their next meeting produced the following poem.

RETALIATION:

A

POEM

OF old, when Scarron his companions invited, Each guest brought his dish, and the feast was united; If our landlord * supplies us with beef, and with fish, Let each guest bring himself, and he brings the best dish:

Our Deantshall be venison, just fresh from the plains; Our Burke shall be tongue, with the garnish of brains; Our Will § shall be wild fowl, of excellent flavour, And Dick||with his pepper shall heighten the savour:

*The master of the St. James's coffee-house, where the doctor, and the friends he has characterised in this poem, occasionally dined.

† Dr. Bernard, dean of Derry in Ireland.

The Right Hon. Edmund Burke.

§ Mr. William Burke, late secretary to General Conway, and member for Bedwin.

Mr. Richard Burke, collector of Granada.

Our Cumberland's* sweet-bread its place shall obtain,
And Douglas † is pudding, substantial and plain}
Our Garrick's a sallad; for in him we see
Oil, vinegar, sugar, and saltness agree:

To make out the dinner, full certain I am,

That Ridge § is anchovy, and || Reynolds is lamb;
That Hickey's ¶ a capon, and by the same rule,
Magnanimous Goldsmith, a goosberry fool.
At a dinner so various, at such a repast,
Who'd not be a glutton, and stick to the last?
Here, waiter, more wine, let me sit while I'm able,
'Till all my companions sink under the table;
Then, with chaos and blunders encircling my head,
Let me ponder, and tell what I think of the dead.
Here lies the good Dean, ** reunited to earth,
Who mix'd reason with pleasure, and wisdom with
mirth:

* Mr. Richard Cumberland, author of the West Indian, Fashionable Lover, the Brothers, and various other productions. (a)

+ Doctor Douglas, canon of Windsor, (now Bishop of Salisbury) an ingenious Scotch gentleman, who has no less distinguished himself as a citizen of the world, than a sound critic, in detecting several literary mistakes (or rather forgeries) of his countrymen; particularly Lauder on Milton, and Bower's History of the Popes. David Garrick, Esq.

§ Counseller John Ridge, a gentleman belonging to the Irish bar.

Sir Joshua Reynolds.

¶An eminent attorney.

** Vide page 105.

(a) Since this note was written of "Calvary, or the Death of Christ.”

If

If he had any faults, he has left us in doubt,
At least, in six weeks I cou'd not find 'em out;
Yet some have declar'd, and it can't be denied 'em,
That sly-boots was cursedly cunning to hide 'em.

Here lies our good Edmund,*whose genius was such, We scarcely can praise it, or blame it too much; Who, born for the universe, narrow'd his mind, And to party gave up what was meant for mankind. Though fraught with all learning, yet straining his throat,

To persuade Tommy Townshend†to lend hima vote; Who, too deep for his hearers, still went on refining, And thought of convincing, while they thought of

dining;

Though equal to all things, for all things unfit,
Too nice for a statesman, too proud for a wit;
For a patriot too cool; for a drudge, disobedient;
And too fond of the right, to pursue the expedient.
In short, 'twas his fate, unemploy'd, or in place, sir,
To eat mutton cold, and cut blocks with a razor.

Here lies honest William, whose heart was a mint, While the owner ne'er knew half the good that was in't;

The pupil of impulse, it forc'd him along,

His conduct still right, with his argument wrong;

* Vide page 105.

+ Mr. T. Townshend, member for Whitchurch.

* Vide page 105.

Still

Still aiming at honour, yet fearing to roam,
The coachman was tipsey, the chariot drove home;
Would you ask for his merits? alas! he had none;
What was good was spontaneous, his faults were
his own.

Here lies honest Richard, whose fate I must sigh at; Alas! that such frolic should now be so quiet! What spirits were his! what wit and what whim! * Now breaking a jest, and now breaking a limb! Now wrangling and grumbling to keep up the ball! Now teasing and vexing, yet laughing at all! In short, so provoking a devil was Dick, That we wish'd him full ten times a day at Old Nick; But missing his mirth and agreeable vein, As often we wish'd to have Dick back again.

Here Cumberland lies, having acted his parts, The Terence of England, the mender of hearts; A flattering painter who made it his care To draw men as they ought to be, not as they are. His gallants are all faultless, his women divine, And comedy wonders at being so fine; Like a tragedy queen he has dizen'd her out, Or rather like tragedy giving a rout.

• Mr. Richard Burke; vide page 105. This gentleman having slightly fractured one of his arms and legs, at different times, the doctor has rallied him on these accidents, as a kind of retributive justice for breaking his jests upon other people.

His