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MERRY WIVES OF WINDSOR.
&r Jorx FALSTAFF.
Robix, page to Falstaff. Festos.
SIMPLE, servant to Slender.
RUGBY, servant to Dr. Caius.
Mrs. FORD. nmax PAGE, a boy, son to Mr. Page.
Mrs. Pace. Sr Hrca Evans, a Welch parson,
Mrs. Anne Page, her daughter, in love with Fenton. Dr. Cares, a French physician.
Mrs. Quickly, servant to Dr. Cajus.
Servants to Page, Ford, fc.
SCENE, - WINDSOR ; and the parts adjacent.
} followers of Falstaff
SCENE I. – Windsor. Before Page's Houst. Eva. Yes, py'r-lady; if he has a quarter of your
coat, there is but three skirts for yourself, in my Ente Justice SHALLOW, SLENDER, and Sir Hugh simple conjectures : but this is ail one: If sir John Evans.
Falstaff have committed disparagements unto you, Sist. Sir Hugh, persuade me not; I will make I am of the church, and will be glad to do my be a Star-chainber matter of it: if he were twenty sir nevolence, to make atonements and compromises John Falstaffs, he shall not abuse Robert Shallow, between you. esquire.
Shal. The Council shall hear it; it is a riot. Sen In the county of Gloster, justice of peace, Ev. It is not meet the Council hear a riot ; ad caram
there is no fear of Got in a riot: the Council, look Sct. Ay, cousin Slender, and Cust-alorum. you, shall desire to hear the fear of Got, and not to
sa Ay, and ratolorum too; and a gentleman hear a riot; take your viz ments in that. born, master parson ; who writes himself armigero; Shal. Ha! o' my life, if I were young again, the ' is any bill, warrant, quittance, or obligation, ar- sword should end it.
* Eva. It is petter that friends is the sword, and Shal. Ay, that we do; and have done any time end 'it : and there is also another device in my torse three hundred years.
prain, which, peradventure, prings goot discretions En. All his successors, gone before him, have with it: There is Anne Page, which is daughter to doza't; and all his ancestors, that come after master George Page, which is pretty virginity. him, say: they may give the dozen white luces in Slen. Mistress Anne Page? She has brown hair, their soat.
and speaks small like a woman. Saal. It is an old coat.
Eva. It is that fery person for all the 'orld, as Exs The dozen white louses do become an old just as you will desire'; and seven hundred pounds coat well; it agrees well, passant : it is a familiar of monies, and gold, and silver, is her grandsire, beast to man, and signifies love.
upon his death's-bed, (Got deliver to a joyful resuren The luce is the fresh fish; the salt fish is rections !) give, when she is able to overtake sevenen old coat.
teen years old : it were a goot motion, if we leave So I may quarter, coz?
our pribbles and prabbles, and desire a marriage beSeal. You may, by marrying.
tween master Abraham, and mistress Anne Page. En. It is marring, indeed, if he quarter its Shal. Did her grandsire leave her seven hundred Sal. Not a whit.
Eva. Ay, and her father is make her a petter penny. | tavern, and made me drunk, and afterwards picked
Shal. I know the young gentlewoman ; she has my pocket. good gifts.
Bard. You Banbury cheese! Eva. Seven hundred pounds, and possibilities, is Slen. Ay, it is no matter. good gifts.
Pist. How now, Mephostophilus ?
Nym Slice, I say! pauca, pauca , slice! that's Eva. Shall I tell you a lie? I do despise a liar, my humour. as I do despise one that is false; or, as I despise Slen. Where's Simple, my man? - can you tell one that is not true. The knight, sir John, is there; cousin ?: and, I beseech you, be ruled by your well-willers. Eva. Peace : I pray you! Now let us underI will peat the door (knocks.] for master Page. stand : There is three umpires in this matter, as I What, hoa ! Got pless your house here !
understand : that is - master Page, fidelicet, master
Page ; and there is myself, fidelicet, myself; and the Enter Page,
three party is, lastly and finally, mine host of the Garter. Page. Who's there?
Page. We three, to hearit, and end it between them. Eva. Here is Got's plessing, and your friend, and Eva. Ferry goot: I will make a prief of it in any justice Shallow : and here young master Slender; note-book ; and we will afterwards 'ork upon the that, peradventures, shall tell you another tale, if cause, with as great discreetly as we can. matters grow to your likings.
Fal. Pistol, Page. I am glad to see your worships well : I Pist. He hears with ears. thank you for my venison, master Shallow.
Eva. The tevil with his tam! what phrase is this, Shal. Master Page, I am glad to see you ; Much He hears with ear? Why, it is affectations. good do it your good heart! I wished your venison Fal. Pistol, did you pick master Slender's purse? better; it was ill killed : – How doth good mistress Slen. Ay, by these gloves, did he, (or I would I Page ? — and I love you always with my heart, la; might never come in mine own great chamber again with my heart.
else,) of seven groats in mill-sixpences, and two Page. Sir, I thank you.
Edward shovel-boards, that cost me two shilling and Shal. Sir, I thank you ; by yea and no, I do. two pence a-piece of Yead Miller, by these gloves. Page. I am glad to see you, good master Slender. Fal. Is this true, Pistol ?
Slen. How does your fallow greyhound, sir? I Eva. No; it is false, if it is a pick-purse. heard say, he was out-run on Cotsale.
Pist. Ha, thou mountain-foreigner! - Sir John Page. It could not be judg'd, sir.
and master mine, Slen. You'll not confess, you'll not confess. I combat challenge of this latten bilbo :
Shal. That he will not; -— 'tis your fault, 'tis Word of denial in thy labras here; your fault: - 'Tis a good dog.
Word of denial : froth and scum, thou liest. Page. A cur, sir.
Slen. By these gloves, then 'twas he. Shal. Sir, he's a good dog, and a fair dog; Can Nym. Be advis'd, sir, and pass good humours : there be more said ? he is good, and fair. Is sir I will say, marry trap, with you, if you run the nutJohn Falstaff here?
hook's húmour on me: that is the very note of it. Page. Sir, he is within ; and I would I could do Slen. By this hat, then, he in the red face had it: a good office between you.
for though I cannot remember what I did when you Eva. It is spoke as a Christians ought to speak. made me drunk, yet I am not altogether an ass. Shal. He hath wrong'd me, master Page.
Fal. What say you, Scarlet and John ? Page. Sir, he doth in some sort confess it.
Bard. Why, sir, for my part, I say, the gentleShal. If it be confess'd, it is not redress'd; is man had drunk himself out of his five sentences. not that so, master Page? He hath wrong'd me; Eva. It is his five senses: fie, what the ignorance is! indeed, he hath ; -at a word he hath ; - believe Bard. And being fap, sir, was, as they say, came; Robert Shallow, esquire, saith, he is wrong'd. shier'd ; and so conclusions pass'd the careires. Page. Here comes sir John.
Slen. Ay, you spake in Latin then too; but 'tis Enter sir Joux Falstaff, BARDOLPH, Nrm, and but in honest, civil, godly company, for this trick:
no matter : I'll ne'er be drunk whilst I live again, PISTOL
if I be drunk, I'll be drunk with those that have the Fal. Now, master Shallow ; you'll complain of fear of God, and not with drunken knaves. me to the king ?
Eva. So Got 'udge me, that is a virtuous mind. Shal. Knight, you have beaten my men, killed Fal. You hear all these matters denied, gentlemy deer, and broke open my lodge.
men; you hear it. Fal. But not kiss'd your keeper's daughter ? Shal. Tut, a pin! this shall be answer'd.
Enter Mistress ANNE Pack with wine; Mistress Fal. I will answer it straight ;- I have done all
FORD and Mistress PAGE following. this : That is now answer'd.
Page. Nay, daughter, carry the wine in; we'll Shal. The Council shall know this.
(Erit Anne Page Fal. "Twere better for you, if it were known-in Slen. O heaven! this is mistress Anne Page, counsel : you'll be laugh'd at.
Page. How now, mistress Ford ? Eva. Pauca verba, sir, John, goot worts.
Fal. Mistress Ford, by my troth, you are very Fal. Good worts ! good cabbage. - Slender, I well met : by your leave, good mistress. [kissing her. broke your head; What matter have you against me? Page. Wife, bid these gentlemen welcome :
Slen. Marry, sir, I have matter in my head against Come, we have a hot venison pasty to dinner ; come you ; and against your coney-catching rascals, Bar- gentlemen, I hope we shall drink down all unkindo dolph, Nym, and Pistol. They carried me to the ness. (Exeunt all but Sual. SLENDER, and EVANS
Sn. I had rather than forty shillings, I had my Eva. Od's plessed will! I will not be absence at book of Songs and Sonnets here :
(Exeunt SHALLOW and Sir H. Evans. Enter Souple.
Anne. Will't please your worship to come in, sir?
Slen. No, I thank you, forsooth, heartily; I am How now, Simple! Were have you been? I must very well. wait on myself, must I? You have not The Book of Anne. The dinner attends you, sir. Riedles about you, have you?
Slen. I am not a-hungry, I thank you, forsoothi. Sr. Book of Riddles ! why, did not you lend it Go, sirrah, for all you are my man, go, wait upon te Alice Shortcake upon Allhallowmas last, a fort- my cousin Shallow : (Exit SIMPLE.) A justice of nigtet afore Michaelmas?
peace sometime may be beholden to his friend for a Shal. Come, coz ; come, coz; we stay for you. man :- I keep but three men and a boy yet, till my A word with you, coz: marry, this, coz; There is, mother be dead : But what thoughı? yet I live like as 'twere, a tender, a kind of tender, made afar off a poor gentleman born. by sir Hugh here j - Do you understand me? Anne. I may not go in without your worship :
Sea. Ay, sir, you shall find me reasonable ; if it they will not sit, till you come. be so, I shall do that that is reason.
šlen. I'faith, I'll eat nothing ; I thank you as Sial. Kay, but understand me.
much as though I did. Sten. So I do, sir.
Anne. I pray you, sir, walk in. Eve. Give ear to his motions, master Slender : I Slen. I had rather walk here, I thank you ; I will description the matter to you, if you be capa- bruised my shin the other day with playing at sword city of it.
and dagger with a master of fence, three veneys Sen. Nay, I will do as my cousin Shallow says: for a dish of stewed prunes ; and, by my troth, I I pray you, pardon me; he's a justice of peace in cannot abide the smell of hot meat since.' Why do his country, simple though I stand here.
your dogs bark so ? be there bears i' the town. Eve. But this is not the question ; the question Anne. I think there are, sir; I heard them talkeä is concerning your marriage.
of. Sual. Ay, there's the point, sir.
Slen. I love the sport well; but I shall as soon Es. Blarry, is it; the very point of it; to mis- quarrel at it, as any man in England : -- You are trees Anne Page.
afraid, if you see the bear loose, are you not ? Ser. Why, if it be so, I will marry her, upon Anne. Ay, indeed, sir. any reasonable demands.
Slen. That's meat and drink to me now: I have Ero. Bat can you affection the 'oman? Let us seen Sackerson loose twenty times; and have taken corrmand to know that of your mouth, or of your him by the chain : but, I warrant you, the women lips; for divers philosophers hold, that the lips is have so cried and shriek'd at it, that it pass’d:--but parcel of the mouth; - Therefore, precisely, can women, indeed, cannot abide 'em ; they are very ill you carry your good will to the maid?
favoured rough things. Sal. Cousin Abraham Slender, can you love
Re-enter Pace. Slen. I hope, sir, — I will do, as it shall become Page. Come, gentle master Slender, come; we cae that would do reason.
stay for you. Exe. Nay, Got's lords and his ladies, you must Slen. "I'll eat nothing, I thank you, sir. speak possitable, if you can carry her your desires Page. By cock and pye, you shall not chrose, towards her.
: come, come. Seit. That you must: Will you, upon good Slen. Nay, pray you, lead the way. dowry, marry her?
Page. Come on, sir. Sen. I will do a greater thing than that, upon
Slen. Mistress Anne, yourself shall go first. Four request, cousin, in any reason.
Anne. Not I, sir ; pray you, keep on. Shal. Nay, conceive me, conceive me, sweet coz; Slen. Truly, I will not go first; truly, la: I will what I do, is to pleasure you, coz: Can you love not do you that wrong.. the said?
Anne. I pray you, sir. Slea. I will marry her, sir, at your request ; but Slen. I'll rather be unmannerly than troublesome; if there be no great love in the beginning, yet hea- you do yourself wrong, indeed, la. (Ereunt. men may decrease it upon better acquaintance, when re are married, and have more occasion to know one
SCENE II. - The same. 20her: I hope, upon familiarity will grow more contempt: but if you say, marry her, I will marry
Enter Sir Hugu Evans and SIMPLE. her, that I am freely dissolved, and dissolutely. Eva, Go your ways, and ask of Doctor Caius'
Em. It is a fery discretion answer; save, the house, which is the way: and there dwells one misfaul is in the 'ort dissolutely: the 'ort is, according tress Quickly, which is in the manner of his nurse, to our meaning, resolutely ; - his meaning is good. or his dry nurse, or his cook, or his laundry, his
W. Ay, I think my cousin meant well. washer, and his wringer.
Eva. Nay, it is petter yet:
_give her this letter; Re-enter ANNE PAGE.
for it is a 'oman that altogether's acquaintance with Gal. Here comes fair mistress Anne:- Would mistress Anne Page : and the letter is, to desire and I were young, for your sake, mistress Anne ! require her to solicit your master's desires to mistress
Anne. The dinner is on the table ; my father de- Anne Page : I pray you, begone ; I will make-an kirss your worships' company.
end of my dinner; there's pippins and cheese to Sal. I will wait on him, fair mistress Anne. come.
SCENE III.-Room in the Garter Inn. Nym. I thank thee for that humour. Enter Falstarr, Host, BARDOLPH, Nym, Pistol, such a greedy intention, that the appetite of her
Fal. O, she did so course o'er my exteriors with and Robin.
eye did seem to scorch me up like a burning glass! Fol. Mine host of the Garter,
Here's another letter to her : she bears the purse Host. What says my bully-rook? Speak scho- too; she is a region in Guiana, all gold and bounty. larly, and wisely.
I will be cheater to them both, and they shall be exFal. Truly, mine host, I must turn away some chequers to me; they shall be my East and West of my followers.
Indies, and I will trade to them both. Go, bear Host. Discard, bully Hercules; cashier: let them thou this letter to mistress Page ; and thou this to wag ; trot, trot.
mistress Ford : we will thrive, lads, we will thrive. Fal. I sit at ten pounds a week.
Pist. Shall I sir Pandarus of Troy become, Host. Thou 'rt an emperor, Cæsar, Keisar, and And by my side wear steel ? then, Lucifer take all ! Pheezar. I will entertain Bardolph ; he shall draw, Nym. I will run no base humour: here, take the he shall tap: said I well, bully Hector ?
humour letter; I will keep the 'haviour of reputatiop. Fal. Do so, good mine host.
Fal. Hold, sirrah, (to Rob. ] bear you these letters Host. I have spoke ; let him follow: Let me see
tightly; thee froth, and lime: I am at a word ; follow. Sail like my pinnance to these golden shores.
(Exit Host. Rogues, hence, avaunt! vanish like hail-stones, go; Fal. Bardolph, follow him : a tapster is a good Trudge, plod, away, o'the hoof; seek shelter, pack! trade : an old cloak makes a new jerkin; a withered Falstaff will learn the humour of this age, servingman, a fresh tapster : Go; adieu.
French thrift, you rogues; myself, and skirted page. Bard. It is a life that I have desired; I will
(Ereunt Falstaff and Robix. thrive.
[Erit BARD. Pist. Let vultures gripe thy guts! for gourd, and Pist. O base Gongarian wight! wilt thou the
fullam holds, spigot wield?
And high and low beguile the rich and poor; Nym. He was gotten in drink : Is not the hu- Tester I'll have in pouch, when thou shalt lack, mour conceited ? His mind is not heroick, and Base Phrygian Turk ! there's the humour of it.
Nym. I have operations in my head, which be Fal. I am glad, I am so acquit of this tinder- humours of revenge. box; his thefts were too open; his filching was like Pist. Wilt thou revenge ? an unskilful singer, he kept not time.
Nym. By welkin, and her star! Nym. The good humour is, to steal at a minute's Pist. With wit, or steel?
Nym. With both the humours, I: Pist. Convey, the wise it call : Steal! foh; a fico I will discuss the humour of this love to Page. for the phrase !
Pist. And I to Ford shall eke unfold, Fal. Well, sirs, I am almost out at heels.
How Falstaff, varlet vile, Pist. Why then, let kibes ensue.
His dove will prove, his gold will hold, Fal. There is no remedy; I must coney-catch;
And his soft couch defile. I must shift.
Nym. My humour shall not cool : I will incense Pist. Young ravens must have food.
Page to deal with poison ; I will possess him with Fal. Which of you know Ford of this town? yellowness, for the revolt of mien is dangerous: that Pist. I ken the wight; he is of substance good. is my true humour.
Fal. My honest lads, I will tell you what I am Pist. Thou art the Mars of malcontents : I seabout.
cond thee; troop on.
[Exeunt. Pist. Two yards, and more.
Fal. No quips now, Pistol ; Indeed I am in the SCENE IV. - A Room in Dr. Caius's House. waist two yards about: but I am now about no waste; I am about thrift. Briefly, I do mean to make love
Enter Mrs. QUICKLY, SIMPLE, and Rugby. to Ford's wife; I spy entertainment in her ; she dis- Quick. What: John Rugby! - I pray thee, go courses, she carves, she gives the leer of invitation : to the casement, and see if you can see my master, I can construe the action of her familiar style; and master Doctor Caius, coming: if he do, i'faith, and the hardest voice of her behaviour, to be English'd find any body in the house, here will be an old rightly, is, I am sir John Falstaff's.
abusing of God's patience, and the king's English. Pist. He hath studied her well, and translated Rug. I'll go watch.
[Erit RUGBY her well; out of honesty into English.
Quick. Go; and we'll have a posset for't soon at Nym. The anchor is deep: Will that humour night, in faith, at the latter end of a sea-coal fire.
An honest, willing, kind fellow, as ever servant Fal. Now, the report goes, she has all the rule of shall come in house withal ; and, I warrant you, no her husband's purse ; she hath legions of angels. tell-tale, nor no breed-bate : his worst fault is, that Pist. As many devils entertain ; and, To her, boy, he is given to prayer; he is something peevish that
way; but nobody but has his fault; - but let that Nym. The humour rises; it is good: humour pass. Peter Simple, you say your name is ? me the angels.
Sim. Ay, for fault of a better. Fal. I have writ me here a letter to her: and Quick. And master Slender's your master ? here another to Page's wife; who even now gave Sim. Ay, forsooth. me good eyes too, examin'd my parts with most ju- Quick. Does he not wear a great round beara, dicious eyliads : sometimes the beam of her view like a glover's paring knife ? gilded my foot, sometimes my portly belly.
Sim. No, forsooth: he hath but a little wee face, Pist. Then did the sun on dunghill shine. with a little yexlow beard ; a Cain-coloured beard.
Quick. A softly-sprighted man, is he not? Quick. I am glad he is so quiet: if he had been Sta. Ay, forsooth: but he is as tall a man of thoroughly moved, you should have heard him so in bands, as any is between this and his head; he loud, and so melancholy; — But notwithstanding, bath fought with a warrener.
man, I'll do your master what good I can : and the Quict. How say you ? -0, I should remember very yea and the no is, the French doctor, my maskira ; Does be not holdup his head, as it were ? and ter, - I may call him my master, look you, for I strut in his gait?
keep his house; and I wash, wring, brew, bake, Ss. Yes, indeed, does he.
scour, dress meat and drink, make the beds, and do Quick. Well, heaven send Anne Page no worse all myself : forture! Tell master parson Evans, I will do what Sim. 'Tis a great charge, to come under one body's I can for your master : Anne is a good girl, and I hand. vish
Quick. Are you avis'd o'that? you shall find it a Re-enter Rooby.
great charge: and to be up early and down late;
but notwithstanding, (to tell you in your ear; I Bug. Out, alas ! here comes my master.
would have no words of it;) my master himself is in Quick. We shall all be shent : Run in here, love with mistress Anne Page: but notwithstanding good Foung man; go into this closet. (Shuts SIM- that, — I know Anne's mind, - that's neither here ruis ise closet.] He will not stay long. - What, nor there. Jalan Rugby! John, what John, I say ! - Go, Caius. You jack’nape ; give-a dis letter to sir Jate, go enquire for my master; I doubt, he be Hugh; by gar, it is a shallenge: I will cut his troat * well, that be comes not home :- and down, in de park; and I vill teach a scurvy jack-a-nape Lernt, adoun-s, &c.
(Sings. priest to meddle or make: - you may be gone; it is
not good you tarry here : — by gar, I vill cut all his Enter Doctor Caius.
two stones; by gar, he shall not have a stone to trow Caius Vat is you sing? I do not like dese toys; at his dog.
(Erit Simple. Pray you, go and vetch me in my closet un boilier Quick. Alas, he speaks but for his friend. word; a box, a green-a box; Do intend vat I speak ? Caius. It is no matter-a for dat : - do not you * green-a box.
tell-a me dat I shall have Anne Page for myself? Qack. Ay, forsooth, I'll fetch it you. I am glad by gar, I will kill de Jack Priest; and I have aple weat not in himself: if he had found the young pointed mine host of de Jarterre to measure our zan, be would have been horn-mad. (Aside. weapon :- by gar, I vill myself have Anne Page.
Caius Fe, fe, fe, fe! ma foi, il fait fort chaud. Quick. Sir, the maid loves you, and all shall be ku'a reis d la Cour, - la grande affaire.
well: we must give folks leave to prate : What, the Quick. Is it this, sir?
good-jer! Ceas. Ouy; mette le au mon pocket; Depeche, Caius. Rugby, come to de court vit me:
- By quickly: Vere is dat knave Rugby?
gar, if I have not Anne Page, I shall turn your head Quick. What, John Rugby! John!
out of my door :- - Follow my heels, Rugby: Rus Here, sir.
(Exeunt Caius and Rugby, Crains. You are John Rugby, and you are Jack Quick. You shall have An fools-head of your Ragby: Come, take-a your rapier, and come after own. No, I know Anne's mind for that: never a my keel te de court.
woman in Windsor knows more of Anne's mind, Huz. 'Tis ready, sir, here in the porch.
than I do: nor can do more than I do with her, I Cazis. By my trot, I tarry too long: - Od's me! thank heaven. Qa'a i wité ? dere is some simples in my closet, Fent. [Within.] Who's within there? ho ! dat I will not for the varld I shall leave behind. Quick. Who's there, I trow ? Come near the
Qadi. Ah me! he'll find the young man there, house, I pray you. od be mad! Caus. O diable, diable ! vat is in my closet ?
Enter Fexrox. Fisioy! Larron! (Pulling SIMPLE out.] Rugby, Fent. How now, good woman; how dost thou ? rapiat.
Quick. The better, that it pleases your good worQuick. Good master, be content.
ship to ask. Catus. Verefore shall I be content-a?
Fent. What news? how does pretty mistress Quick. The young man is an honest man.
Anne? Ceist. Vat shall de honest man do in my closet ? Quick. In truth, sir, and she is pretty, and honest dais so bonest man dat shall come in my closet. and gentle; and one that is your friend, I can tell
d. I beseech you, be not so flegmatick; hear you that by the way; I praise heaven for it. te truth of it: He came of an errand to me from Fent. Shall I do any good, think'st thou ? Shall persoa Hugh.
I not lose my suit? Carins. Vell.
Quick. Troth, sir, all is in his hands above : but dia. Ay, forsooth, to desire her to
notwithstanding, master Fenton, I'll be sworn on a Guid. Peace, I pray you.
book, she loves you : - - Have not your worship a Caes. Peace-a your tongue : - Speak-a your wart above your eye?
Fent. Yes, marry, have I ; what of that? Ses To desire this honest gentlewoman, your Quick. Well, thereby hangs a tale ; – good faith, id, to speak a good word to Mrs. Anne Page for it is such another Nan; — but, I detest, an honest y meester, in the way of marriage.
maid as ever broke bread : _ We had an hour's talk Quck. This is all, indeed, la; but I'll ne'er put of that wart:- I shall never laugh but in that Sfingar in the fire, and need not.
maid's company! But, indeed, she is given too Cars Sir Hugb send a you? Rugby, bailles much to allicholly, and musing : But for you Desene paper: Tarry you a little-a while. [Writes. Well, go to.