Old Woman. Let 'em alone, let 'em alone Sirrah, they are beneath thy Notice; a Candle Snuffer is an honourable Employment when compar'd to them. What is worse than a Wou'd-be-thought Wit? You are always plagued with his Impertinence, and can never get a fingle Soufe of Senfe from him. Who is that poor shivering Creature in Rags? Oh! I fee, 'tis Merit return'd from Tranfportation. Poor Creature, I pity thee! But prithee go back to thy Exile again, for if you are met with here you must expect no Mercy. Boy doft fee that fine Gentleman yonder? He is going to the Gaming-Tables, with my Money in his Pocket. He has been in my Debt, let me fee, these five Years, and always pays me with Promises. Upon my Honour, Madam, I am out of Cafb,-You are unfortunate, If you had come a little fooner you might have had it, But next Week Madam upon my Honour. And thus Honour has been pafs'd upon me for Stirling Gold, till it is not worth a rotten Egg.

Boy. Dame, Dame, fee the Ghost of a Calf, with two fawcer Eyes coming at us.

Old Woman, Pihaw ye Fool, that's the Apparition of the British Lion, but it grows toward Morning, and you'll fee him run away at the Crowing of the Cock. Poor Ghoft! he was fo- terrible when alive, that he made all Europe tremble.

He then fo loud did roar, and look'd fo grim

That his own Shadow durft not follow him ;

But now he's fo dejected and dismay'd,

He cannot face the Shadow of his Shade.

f

The

The MIDWIFE'S POLITICKS: Or, Goffip's Chronicle of the Affairs of Europe.

SPAIN and PORTUGAL.

Join these two Kingdoms together, as they make to

Accordingly, they were both under the fame Monarch, from the Year 1580 to 1640, when the Portugueze advanced the Duke of Braganza to the Sovereignty. This Slip of Country, tho' it looks in the Map but like a Province of Spain, or like the Lace on one Side of a Woman's Capuchin, gives the Lead in this Union, on Account of its Situation: And as all Authors have a Right to lay as much Blame as they pleafe on their Printers, I here aver, that this Deftination would have been fhewn in my laft Chronicle, if the Compofitor had not by a Mistake tranfpofed my Copy.

The new King of Portugal then proceeds with great Reputation, and introduces many Improvements in the Administration of his Affairs, as well as new Statesmen to administer them. But I cannot believe, as fome Letters intimate, that his Council will ever think of having all Neceffaries manufactured at Home, in order to put a Stop to Foreign Commerce; unless they fhould at the fame Time refolve, that the Portugueze fhall eat all the fuperfluous Gold and Diamonds brought from Brazil (for which they will then have no other Ufe) as well as drink all the Wine their Country produces. I muft here observe, that tho' Father Gafpard be not called to Court, his Portugueze Majefty reigns not without the Advice of an Old Woman; his Royal Mother, the Queen Dowager, a fage Princefs, in the 68th Year of her Age, being ftill alive, and fuppofed to have great Influence over her Son.

Ever fince I was young, I remember our Difputes with Spain made a great Noife in the World. If we may believe the Advices of laft Month, I have happily

lived

lived to fee them finished; but whether fo much to our Advantage as the faid Advices mention, or whether the politic Old Woman at St. Ildefonso has artfully got some fresh Bone of Contention concealed in the new Treaty, I will not pretend to conjecture, till that Treaty is made public.

Both Spain and Portugal, as well as the little States of Italy, are ftill much molefted by the Barbary Rovers.

ITALY.

His Neapolitan Majefty continues to join his Endeavours to thofe of his Brother, and Brother-in-law, for fuppreffing the faid Rovers. He also labours to open new Ports, and new Sources of Wealth.. The Pope, among his many Bulls relating to the Jubilee, has iffued one for the Prohibition of Gaming His Imperial Majesty's formidable Tufcan Fleet, confifting of three Men of War, is ar rived before Conftantinople; but without any Defign, as we are well affured, of fubverting the Ottoman Empire.

The Duke of Modena, by a new Way he has made over Mountains that were deemed impaffable, has with his Son, paid a Vifit to the little Republick of Lucca, and that good Old Woman the Dutchess of Maffa, whose Daughter and Heirefs the young Prince has married.

The Duke and Dutchiefs of Parma are diligent to propagate their Species, to find Employment for the Midwives, and to increafe the Houfe of Bourbon, which is already fo numerous as to become burthenfome to all Europe. The Republick of Genoa cannot recover either the Hearts of the Corficans (which it seems still to defire) or the Credit of its own Bank That of Venice hath still some formal Difcuffions to finish with the Court of Vienna; which is at prefent fo easy in Regard to the Affairs of Italy, that its Towns in the Milanese are reprefented as without Garrifons, tho' we were lately told of great Reinforcements to be fent thither. His Sardinian Majefty, if we may believe the last Advices

concerning him, is refolved to obferve his old Alliances of Intereft, notwithstanding his new Family Alliance by the Marriage of his Son.

TURKEY.

Antient, Female, and plain as I am, I would not willingly pafs for a Witch; and therefore I fhall lay a Restraint on my natural Sagacity, whenever I fpeak of Futurity. Otherwife, I could here predict more Mischief to the Turkish Empire, from the Weakness of its Civil Government, and the Diffenfions among its Soldiery, than from all the rest of the Naval Powers in Italy, joined to that of his Imperial Majesty.

FRANCE.

The moft Chriftian Monarchs, on all late Occafions, have fhewn themselves the firmeft Friends of the fublime Porte. If his prefent Gallic Majefty fhould give a fresh Inftance of his Friendship, the Man who is furpriz'd at it, muft be weaker than an Old Woman. And fo must he likewife be, who imagines that the retrieving the French Marine, the vaft Sums of Money that are raising in the French Monarchy, and the Stand that is put to the Conferences at Paris, have all no other Object than preferving the Peace and Tranquility of Europe.

GREAT BRITAIN.

That I may not seem to throw my own Country into the Rear, I fhall for the future affign it a Place betwixt France and Germany, which equally fuits both with its Situation and Politicks. The Joy of every true Briton, upon the Return of his Majefty, has been too great to be here omitted. I muft alfo exprefs my Satisfaction at the Report, which I hope will prove true, that fince my Appearance in Print has given a Tafte of our political Abilities, my Sex is like to be taken Notice of in the Court Promotions. Where would be the Harm if we were

were to have not only a Miftrefs of the Horfe, but a Miftrefs of the Ordnance likewife? But if any Objection be made in respect to the Ordnance, because it is a military Office, I muft affert that the Wardrobe and the Jewel Office, would fuit a Mitrefs much better than a Mafter. And let me recommend it to the Citizens of London, in the approaching Election, to fupply the Place of Mr. Piddington, to fet afide all the Male Candidates, and chufe a Bridge Mistress.

The Low-COUNTRIES and GERMANY.

Our good Friends the States General have lately made fo indifferent a Figure, that, if it were not for the Motions of the Stadtholder's Court, of which the Princess Royal is the greatest Ornament, there would be fcarce any News from Holland worthy our Notice. There is a Report from Bruffels of an Augmentation to be made in the Army, as well as of new Schemes for the Promotion of Commerce,

Of the ten Kings now reigning in Europe, four are Princes of the German Empire, which occafions much Embarraffment of Affairs in their two Capacities. The King of Sweden, indeed, ne'er vifits Heffe Caffel, where his Brother is fole Adminiftrator. The Kings of Poland and Pruffia divide their Prefence betwixt their Royal and Electoral Dominions, but give much the largest Share to the latter. His Britannic Majesty is more juft to his Kingdoms, tho' his Abfence from them has been ufually lamented fix or feven Months in every two Years. We do not yet know all the Effects of his late Vifit to Hanover, from which fuch Benefits are expected to the House of Auftria, and the Germanic Union. As to the leffer fecular Princes, they are ufually influenced by these already mentioned; and the Ecclefiaftical ones are of fo little Ufe in their Generation, that they feldom deferve the Notice even of an Old Woman.

POLAND.