Another comes and says "I am deeply unfortunate in regard to my wife. Many will set me down as an extravagant or avaricious man, just because my wife is perpetually goading me on this subject. She wishes to live in the same style with our rich neighbors. I have endeavored to show her the folly of her desires; and she sometimes seems to be partly convinced ; but by the next day, or at least by the next week, she is the same as before.

"I would spend my life in doing good without much regard to the avails; but this I cannot do, and enjoy at the same time a moment's peace. If I am doing any thing for the public, without compensation, and she finds it out, I am soon harassed with her piteous complaints about our wants, present and future. 'What shall we do in our old

age,' she says, 'and what is to become of our poor children?' 'We shall soon be dependent on the town,' she sometimes says, ' and then you will see the nature and extent of your folly.""

Another tells me his wife is forever troubling him about his personal appearance and dress. "I do not believe I am a sloven," says he; "and yet my dress is never such as she would prefer. If I were like some husbands, we should soon be in a quarrel. But I am com

pelled to tell her I shall appear and dress as I please; and she has nothing to do but to be silent. This is a painful but necessary resort, and she submits to it because she cannot help it. I would leave her, were it not for the children, rather than have a perpetual din about my ears; but my children are dear to me, and for their sake I remain."

These are specimens of the family secrets which husbands sometimes communicate, on condition that they go no farther: but to what purpose? But why should I expose the follies of my wife? Have I not virtually promised, when I took her to my arms, to conceal them? And suppose I had not; is it not for my interest to do so? Will any person think the better of me for such petty disclosures? Does not every man of common sense know that one story is always good till another is told?

For my own part, I never hear a husband revealing, in this way, his family concerns, without experiencing both pain and disgust. I am sorry we have wives among us weak enough to expose their husbands; but the husband who exposes his wife is more than weak; he is absolutely mean and contemptible.

CHAPTER XL.
PTER

DISCRETION.

Definition of the term. Value of this quality. Peculiarly valuable to the young husband

DISCRETION is a word in every body's mouth, and yet few understand it precisely alike. With some, those persons are accounted discreet who are forever silent. With others, he is the discreet person who never reveals any thing which can properly be considered as a secret. Others, still, confound discretion with prudence.

But when I use the term discretion, it is in a sense somewhat different from any of these. It embraces them, it is true, but it also includes much more. I mean by it, that faculty which enables a person to judge, skilfully and cautiously, what course of conduct it is proper and right to pursue. It is a species of discernment, in regard to conduct and things, which is of inestimable value in all the relations of life, but in none more so than in the relation of husband and wife. The husband or wife may make a com

panion and others unhappy, when there is any want of a proper discretion, even though their general intentions are excellent.

There are many qualities of the mind more shining than discretion, but few-very fewmore useful. It is this which seems to impart a value to all the rest, by setting them to work in their proper times and places, and turning them to the advantage of the owner. It not only shows itself in words, but in actions, and is a kind of under agent of Providence to guide and direct us in the ordinary concerns of life.

I wish every young husband would especially labor and pray that he may not only be discreet himself, and for his own sake, but be enabled to set an example of discretion to his family and all around him. Discretion is a gem of unspeakable value-but, unlike most gems, its value would be greatly enhanced in society were it more abundant.

CHAPTER XLI.

TAKING SIDES.

The wisdom of suspending our judgments. Taking sides unnecessary and unreasonable. The husband and wife arrayed against each other. Minding our own business.

I DISLIKE, very much, to see a husband and wife as ready as some are to regard to every little occurrence.

take sides, in It is not only

more wise, but far more safe, to suspend our judgment as long as possible, and in most cases to pass no judgment at all.

Where is the necessity, in the first place, of understanding all the details of every petty disagreement which happens to be going on in the community? Does it make us either wiser or better? Besides, the more we know and enter into these matters, the more we may.

But if they come to our ears-and they cannot, I know, be always avoided-it does not follow that we should take the side of either party in the dispute. How seldom do we know the whole truth, on both sides! And how poorly