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So with decorum all things carry'd ;
Need we expose to vulgar sight
The honey-moon like lightning flew;
Skill'd in no other arts was she,
Made sonnets, lisp'd his sermons o'er,
So, &c." The allusion to the " bailiffs pump'd" applies to an incident in the Poet's own college career. Life, ch. iii.)
(1) [" And though she felt his visage rough." Orig:-)
"Tis true she dress'd with modern grace,
Thus as her faults each day were known, He thinks her features coarser grown; He fancies every vice she shows, Or thins her lip, or points her nose : Whenever rage or envy rise,How wide her mouth, how wild her eyes ! He knows not how, but so it is, Her face is grown a knowing phiz; And, though her fops are wond'rous civil, He thinks her ugly as the devil.
Now to perplex the ravell’d nooze, As each a different way pursues,
(1) [" Now tawdry madam kept a bevy."Orig:-) (2) [" She in her turn became perplexing,
And found substantial bliss in vexing."-16.]
While sullen or loquacious strife
The glass, grown hateful to her sight, Reflected now a perfect fright: Each former art she vainly tries To bring back lustre to her eyes ; In vain she tries her paste and creams, To smooth her skin, or hide its seams; Her country beaux and city cousins, Lovers no more, flew off by dozens ; The squire himself was seen to yield, And ev’n the captain quit the field.
Poor madam, now condemn’d to hack
person ever neatly clean :
A NEW SIMILE.
IN THE MANNER OF SWIFT.(1)
Long had I sought in vain to find
Imprimis; pray observe his hat, Wings upon either side-mark that. Well! what is it from thence we gather ? Why, these denote a brain of feather. A brain of feather ! very right, With wit that's fighty, learning light; Such as to modern bard's decreed ; A just comparison,-proceed.
In the next place, his feet peruse, Wings grow again from both his shoes ; Design'd, no doubt, their part to bear, And waft his godship through the air :
(1) [Printed in the Essays, 1765. ]
And here my simile unites;
Lastly, vouchsafe t'observe his hand, Fill'd with a snake-encircled wand : By classic authors term’d Caduceus, And highly fam’d for several uses. To wit-most wond'rously endu’d, No poppy-water half so good; For let folks only get a touch, Its soporific virtue 's such, Though ne'er so much awake before, That quickly they begin to snore. Add too, what certain writers tell, With this he drives men's souls to Hell.
Now to apply, begin we then :His wand 's a modern author's pen; The serpents round about it twin'd, Denote him of the reptile kind ; Denote the rage with which he writes, His frothy slaver, venom'd bites; An equal semblance still to keep, Alike, too, both conduce to sleep. This difference only, as the god Drove souls to Tart'rus with his rod, With his goose-quill the scribbling elf, Instead of others, damns himself.
And here my simile almost tript ; Yet grant a word by way of postscript.