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with bitter expressions, with words covered that of all the hen-pecked huseven more bitter than the gall and vine- bands in the world, Adam was not only gar which they handed him to drink ; of necessity the first, but the worst ; haynot one of all that witnessed his pains, ing not merely (as the common belief turned the head aside, even in the last is), been hoaxed or beguiled into subpang. Yes, there was one, that glorious mission, but absolutely scolded and luminary (pointing to the sun) veiled beaten into it. “For,' says a certain his bright face, and sailed on in tenfold Jewish Rabbi upon Gen. ii. 12. "by night."
giving him of the tree is to be under
stood a sound rib-roasting; that is to A SENSIBLE HAT.
say, in plain English, Eve finding her A needy beggar swept the streets for bread; All weathers beat on his defenceless head. husband unwilling to eat of the forbidSam saw the wretch, and, pitying his state, den fruit, took a good crab-tree cudgel, Gave him a hat to shield his naked pate. and laboured his sides till he complied Pleased with the gift, the beggar made a bow, And cried, “ This hat has got some sense in
with her will.'
Relief BY PERSPIRATION.- A can
didate at Surgeon's Hall, London, after Varieties.
a variety of questions, was thus inter
rogated :-“In such a case, sir, how SCOLDING.–I cannot forbear citing, would you act ?" “ Well, sir, if that (says a lively law authority,) two odd did not operate!” “ But if that did not cases I have discovered in the history produce the desired effect, what remedy of a nianor in Somersetshire-Seabo- have you left?"_" Why, gentlemen,” rough :-In the third year of the reign said the worried student, “ if all these of Richard III., two women, Isabella, should fail, I would direct the patient to the wife of William Pery, and Alianore be brought here for examination!" Slade, were presented for common scolds IMPORTANT TO TEA-DRINKERS.- A* and fined one penny each, with two small quantity of carbonate of soda put pence were the whole perquisites of the in upon the tea, soflens the water when Court. And at the same time, an or- added to it, and increases the strength der of the court was made, that the ten- almost one-half, in cases where the ants of the manor should not scold their
water is particularly hard. wives, under pain of forfeiting their te George 1. AND DR. LOCKIER, nements and cottages. Now this was The following curious circumstance, all very well and extremely fair, as ap- with regard to church preferment in parently binding upon both parties. this reign, has been relaled : The king But see the mischief of it; at least of
was very partial to Dr Lockier, and the last order of the Court. In the 23rd seeing him one day at court, desired year of Henry Vil. the immediate suc- the Duchess of Ancaster to ask him to cessor of Richard the Third, I find an
join his evening party. The doctor, other order made that the tenants' however, declined the honour, sending wives should not scold (their husbands his duty to the king, and hoping he of course) under the penalty of a six might be excused just then, as he was and eight-penny fine, half to go to the re, soliciting preferment from the minispairs of the Chapel, and halfto the Lord ters, and feared it might do him harm, of the Manor.- So that in fact, it would should it be known that he had the appear, that by the restraint laid upon honour of keeping such good cointhe husbands in the third of Richard, pany. The king laughed, and said, the wives gained such an advantage he thought he was right. In a few over them, as in the 23rd of his succes
weeks, Dr. Lockier kissed hands for sor, (i. e. only 22nd years afterwards), the deanery of Peterborough; and, as to render it absolutely necessary to be rose from kneeling, the king, goodraise the fine for female scolding from humouredly, whispered in. bis ear, one penny to six shillings and eight
“ Well, now, doctor, you will not be pence! Was ever any thing like it? afraid to come in the evening, I hope.” i am entering now, I am aware, upon one of the most hacknied topics of ban EPITAPH ON AN OLD PYE-WOMAN. ter and ridicule, in the whole history of Beneath in the dust, the mouldy old crust,
of Moll Batchelor lately was shoven, male and female foibles. Scolds and
Who was skill'd in the arts of pies and tarts, hen-pecked husbands have supplied And in every device of the oven. food for the satirists, essayists, jour When she'd liv'd long enough, she made her
last puff, nalists, poets, and prose writers, of all
A puff by her husband much praised ; ages, (that is, if we may believe the
And here she doth lie, and makes a dust pie, Jews,) for the latter, it seeins, have dis And hopes that her crust may be rais'd.
To Correspundents :-" True 'Tale,” by E.L.--" The Rebel"_" M.P.'s Daug.iter," and several lighter pieces are under consideration. "The Deserted Wife"-Stanzas" on the gre," by Miss H. S. Lines“ on Hope.” by A1.T., with . Pleasures of a Country Life,” ' T.E are inadmissible.
New Works intended for immediate notice, and artic! :s from Coi espı nu ents, are requested to be forwarded in the early part of the week.
pew last Sunday, at church ?" he en
quired, suddenly. THE THUNDER-STRUCK. “. The same-the same !" I replied (Continued from p. 109.)
with a sigh,
Dr. D- continued silent for a moAs soon as I had dispatched the few moment or two. morning patients that called, I wrote “ Poor creature !” he exclaimed, with imperatively to Mr.N— at Oxford, and an air of deep concern, one so beauti10 Miss P—'s mother, entreating them ful! Do you know I thought I now and by all the love they bore Agnes to come then perceived a very remarkable ex10 her instantly. I then set out for Dr. pression in her eye, especially while D-'s, whom I found just starting on that fine voluntary was playing. Is she his daily visits. I communicated the an enthusiast about music?" whole case to him. He listened with “ Passionately-devotedly'' interest to my statement, and told me “ We'll try it!” he replied briskly, he had once a similar case in his own with a contident air-“ We'll try it! practice, which, alas! terminated fa- First, let us disturb the nervous torpor tally, in spite of the most anxious and with a slight shock of galvanism, and combined efforts of the elite of the fa- then try the effect of your organ. culty in London. He approved of the I listened to the suggestion with incourse I had adopted— most specially terest, but was not quite so sanguine in the blister on the spine ; and earnestly my expectations as my friend appeared recommended me to resort to galvanism, to be. In the whole range of disorders if Miss P- should not be relieved from that affect the human frame, there is not the fit before the evening—when he one so extraordinary, so mysterious, so promised to call, and assist in carrying incapable of management, as that which into effect what he recommended. afflicied the truly unfortunate young “ Is it that beautiful girl I saw in your lady whose case I am narrating. It has Vol. X.
given rise to almost infinite speculation, Her arms, when lifted and left suspendand is admitted, I believe, on all hands ed, did not fall, but sunk down again to be if I may so speak-a nosological gradually. We returned her gently to anomaly.
her recumbent posture ; and deterOn returning home from my daily mined at once to try the effect of galround-in which my dejected air was vanism upon her. My machine was remarked by all the patients I had vic soon brought into the room; and when sited - I found no alteration whatever we bad duly arranged matters, in Miss P-- The nurse had failed in directed the nurse to quit the chamber forcing even arrow-root down her for a short time, as the effect of gal. mouth, and, finding it was not swal- vanism is generally found too startling lowed, was compelled to desist, for fear to be witnessed by a female spectator. of choking her. She was, therefore, I wish I had not inyself seen it in the obliged to resort to other means of con case of Miss P-! Her colour went veying support to her exhausted frame. and came her eyelids and mouth startThe blister on the spine, from which I ed open-and she stared wildly about had expected so much, and the renewed her with the aspect of one starting out sinapisms to the feet, had failed to make of bed in a fright. I thought at one any impression! Thus was every suc moment that the horrid spell was brocessive attempt an utter failure! The ken, for she sate up suddenly, leaned disorder continued absolutely inaccessi- forwards towards me, and her mouth ble to the approaches of medicine. The opened as though she were about to baffled attendants could but look at her, speak! and lament. Good God! was Agnes to “Agnes! Agnes ! dear Agnes ! continue in this dreadful condition till Speak, speak! but a word! Say you her energies sunk in death? What live!"' T exclaimed, rushing forwards, would become of her lover! of her mo- and foldirig my arms round her. Alas, ther! These considerations totally de- she heard me-she saw me--not, but stroyed my peace of mind. I could fell back in bed in her former state! neither think, read, eat, nor remain When the galvanic shock was conveyed anywhere but in the chamber, where, to her limbs, it produced the usual alas ! my presence was so unavailing, effects-dreadful to behold in all cases
Dr. D- made his appearance soon -but agonizing to me, in the case of after dinner; and we proceeded at once Miss P-. The last subject on which to the room where our patient lay. I had seen the effects of galvanisin, Though a little paler than before, her previous to the present instance, was features were placid as those of the the body of an executed malefactor; and chiselled marble. Notwithstanding all the associations revived on the present she had suffered, and the fearful situa- occasion were almost too painful to tion in which she lay at that nioment, bear, I begged my friend to desist, she still looked very beautiful. Her cap for I saw the attempt was hopeless, and was off, and her rich auburn hair lay I would not allow her tender frame to negligently on each side of her, upon be agitated to no purpose. My mind the pillow. Her forehead was white as misgave me for ever making the at. alabaster. She lay with her head turned tempt. What, thought I, if we have a little on one side, and her two small fatally disturbed the nervous system, white hands were clasped together over and prostrated the small remains of her bosom. This was the nurse's ar strength she had left? While I was rangement : for “ poor sweet young torturing myself with such fears as lady," she said, “I couldn't bear to see these, Dr. laid down the rod, with her laid straight along, with her arms a melancholy air, exclaiming --" Well! close beside her like a corpse, so I tried what is to be done now? I cannot tell to make her look as much asleep as you how sanguine I was about the sucpossible !” The impression of beauty, cess of this experiment!
Do however, conveyed by her symmetrical you know whether she ever had a fit of and tranquil features, was disturbed as epilepsy ?" he enquired. soon as lifting up the eyelids, we saw “No-not that I am aware of. I never the fixed stare of the eyes. They were heard of it, if she had.” not glassy or corpse-like, but bright as “ Had she generally a horror of thunthose of life, with a litle of the dread- der and lightning ?" ful expression of epilespy. We raised “Oh-quite the contrary! she felt a her in bed, and she, as before, sate up- sort of ecstasy on such occasions, and . right, but with a blank absent aspect has written some beautiful verses durthat was lamentable and unnatural. ing their continuance. Such seemed
rather her hour of inspiration than it found me by her bed-side as usual, otherwise !"
and her, in no wise altered-apparently “Do you think the lightning itself neither better nor worse! If the unbas affected her?-Do you think her' varying monotony of my description sight is destroyed !”
should fatigue the reader what must “I have no means of knowing whether the actual monotony and hopelessness the immobility of the pupils arises from have been to me! blindness, or is only one of the tem While I was sitting beside Miss porary effects of catalepsy.”
P-, I heard my youngest boy come "Then she believed the prophecy, down stairs, and ask to be let into the you think, of the world's destruction on
He was a little fair-haired Tuesday?"
youngster, about three years of age, “ No-I don't think she exactly be- and had always been an especial falieved it; but I am sure that day brought vourite of Miss P-'s-her“own sweet with it awful apprehensions-or at pet”-as the poor girl herself called least, a fearful degree of uncertainty.” him. Determined to throw no chance
• Well-between ourselves -- there away, I beckoned him in, and took bim was something rery strange in the coin on my knee. He called to Miss Pcidence, was not there ? Nothing in as if he thought her asleep; patted her life ever shook my firmness as it was face with his little hands, and kissed shaken yesterday! I almost fancied her. “ Wake, wake!--Cousin Aggythe earth was quivering in its sphere!” get up!”-he cried—“Papa say, 'tis
“It was a dreadful day! One I shall time to get up!-Do you sleep with never forget !—That is the image of your eyes open ? Eh ?Cousin it,” I exclaimed, pointing to the poor Aggy?" He looked at her intently for sufferer~" which will be engraven on some moments--and seemed frightened. my mind as long as I live! But the He turned pale, and struggled to get off worst is, perhaps, yet to be told you : my knee. I allowed him to go and he Mr. N-, her lover-to whom she was ran to his mother, who was standing at very soon to have been married. He the foot of the bed--and hid his face will be here shortly to see her.”
behind her. “My God!” exclaimed Dr. D— clasp I passed breakfast time in great aping his hands, eyeing Miss P-, with prehension-expecting the two arrivals intense commiseration- What a fear. I have mentioned. I knew not how to ful bride for him! - Twill drive him prepare either the mother or the betrothmad!”
ed husband for the scene that awaited “I dread his coming I know not them, and which I had not particularly what we shall do!-And, then, there's described to them. It was with no little her mother-poor old lady -her 1 trepidation that I heard the startling have written to, and expect almost knock of the general postman; and hourly!"
with infinite astonishment and doubt “Why--what an accumulation of that I took out of the servant's hands, a shocks and miseries! it will be upset- letter from Mr. N-, for poor Agnes! ting you !"-said my friend, seeing me -For a while I knew not what to make pale and agitated.
of it. Had he received the alarming “Well!”– he continued" I can- express I had forwarded to him; and not now stay here longer-your mi- did he write to Miss P--! Or was he sery is catching; and besides, I am unexpectedly absent from Oxford, most pressingly engaged: but you may when it arrived?-The latter supposirely on my services, if you should re- tion was corroborated by the post quire them in any way.”
nark, which I observed was Lincoln. My friend took his departure, leaving I felt it my duty to open the letter. me more disconsolate than ever. Before Alas! it was in a gay strain-unusually retiring to bed, I rubbed in mustard gay for N-; i.forming Agnes that he upon the chief surfaces of the body, had been suddenly summoned into hoping—though faintlythat it might Lincolnshire, to his cousin's wedding have some effect in rousing the system. -where he was very happy-both on I kneeled down, before stepping into account of his relative's happiness, and bed, and earnestly prayed, that as all the anticipation of a similar scene behuman efforts seeined baffled, the Al- ing in store for himself! Every line mighty would set her free from the more was buoyant with hope and animation: tal thraldom in which she lay, and but the postscript most affected me. restore her to life, and those who loved “ P.S. The tenth of July, by the way her inore than life! Morning came my Aggy !-Is it all over with us,
sweet Pythonissa ?--Are you and I at the service appointed by our church for this moment on separate fragments of the visitation of the sick? It will not be the globe ? I shall seal my conquest difficult to introduce the most solemn over you with a kiss when I see you! and affecting strains of music, or to let Remember, you parted from me in a pet, it precede or follow." Still í hesitated naughty one !-and kissed me rather and yet I scarce knew why. Come, coldly! But that is the way that your Doctor, you know I am no enthusiastsex always end arguments, when you I am not generally considered a fanatic. are vanquished!”
Surely, when man has done his best, I read these lines in silence ;—my and fails, he should not hesitate to turn wife burst into tears. As soon as I had to God!" The good old man's words a little recovered from the emotion occa- sunk into my soul, and diffused in it a sioned by a perusal of the letter, I bas- cheerful and humble hope that the blesstened to send a second summons to Mr. ing of Providence would attend the N-, and directed it to him in Lincoln, means suggested. I acquiesced in the whither he had requested Miss P- to Dean's proposal with delight, and even address him. Without explaining the eagerness; and it was arranged that lie, precise nature of Miss P-'s seizure, I should be at my house between seven gave him warning that he must hurry and eight o'clock that evening. I think up to town instantly; and that even I have already observed, that I had an then, it was to the last degree doubtful organ, a very fine and powerful one, in. whether he would see her alive. After my back drawing-room ; and this inthis little occurrence, I could hardly trust strument was the eminent delight of myself to go up stairs again and look poor Miss P-. She would sit down at upon the unfortunate girl. My heart it for hours together, and her performfluttered at the door, and when I entered, ance would not have disgraced a proI burst into tears. I could utter no more fessor. I hoped that on the eventful octhan the words,“ poor-poor Agnes !" casion that was approaching, the tones and withdrew.
of her favourite music, with the blessing. I was shocked, and indeed enraged, of Heaven, might rouse a slumbering to find in one of the morning papers, a responsive chord in her bosom, and aid paragraph stating, though inaccurately, in dispelling the cruel “ charm that the nature of Miss P-'s illness. Who deadened her.” She certainly could not could have been so unfeeling as to make last long in the condition in which she the poor girl an object of public wonder now lay. Every thing that medicine and pity? I never ascertained, though I could do, had been tried - in vain ; and made every enquiry, from whom the ifthe evening's experiment-our forlorn intelligence was communicated. hope, failed-we must, though with a
One of my fatients that day happened bleeding heart, submit to the will of to be a niece of the venerable and ho- Providence, and resign her to the grave. noured Dean of at whose house I looked forward with intense anxietyshe resided. Ile was in the room when with alternate hope and fear-to the I called ; and to explain what he called engagement of the evening. “ the gloom of my manner," I gave him On returning home, late in the aftera full account of the melancholy event noon, I found poor Mrs. P- had arrived which had occurred. He listened to me in town, in obedience to my summons; till the tears ran down his face.
and heart breaking, I learnt, was her “But you have not yet tried the effect first interview, if such it may be called, of music-of which you say she is so with her daughter. Her shrieks alarmed fond ! Do not you intend to resort to it?" the whole house, and even arrested the I told him it was our intention ; and attention of the neighbours. I had left that our agitation was the only reason instructions, that in case of her arrival why we did not try the effect of it im- during my absence, she should be shewn mediately after the galvanism.
at once, without any precautions, into “Now, Doctor, excuse an old clergy, the presence of Miss P-; with the man, will you ?" said the venerable and hope, faint though it was, that the abpious Dean, laying his hand on my arm, ruptness of her appearance, and the * and let me suggest that the experiment violence of her grief, might operate as a may not be the less successful with the salutary shock upon the stagnant enerblessing of God, if it be introduced in gies of her daughter. My child ! my the course of a religious service. Come, child ! my child !” she exclaimed, rushDoctor, what say you ?” I paused.- ing up to the bed with frantic' haste, “ Have you any objection to my calling and clasping the insensible form of her at your house this evening, and reading daughter in her arms, where she held