And by the time the driver had turned his brake The passengers all began to take

A decided interest in the case,

And each in the others began to trace
The taking in of the situation;

And long before we reached the station
The feeling sprang up all through the car
That this was the oddest looking pair
They had ever hearn tell of in all their lives.
And one man said "The more she strives
To look with one eye at her lover,

She's looking at me all the time with the other,
And if I was a feller who had a girl
That double glances could unfurl,
I'll bet I wouldn't more'n once

Try on the feelin's of a dunce.

While I my love was tryin' to tell her,

Some ignoramus of a feller

Might think it was he she was lookin' at,

And consider me a regular flat.

Fur-with one of her eyes she could smile on me,

And let the other light on him,

So that both of us might easily be
Made to fee' decidedly slim."

One of the friends of this troubled gent,
Who seemed on fun and frolic bent,

Said he'd willingly give a dime

To see them try to walk a bee line; The more they tried to toe the mark, 'Twould be like walking in the dark,

If the line was the equator they'd see the poles. Why if we were as blind as bats or moles,

It seemed to him we could find our way

Better than with eyes that were crossed that way. And he wondered how the words would look

If they should attempt to read a book ;

The lines would certainly be all crossed,

And the words so jumbled the sense would be lost.
Why to them the book of Common Prayer
Would be no more sacred than Vanity Fair;
And a divine command of "Thus saith the Lord,"
Might read like the jokes of Artemus Ward;
While Webster's unabridged to them would be
As senseless as it is to a heathen Chinee.

A Teuton with a gallon of lager aboard,

At the sight of our lovers for a moment was floored, "Mein cracious goodness! Vat's dis dat I zee,

Four eyes wrongside out like ein big bumble bee;

Do dese beeple on deir heads schtand ven dey vant to леo sdraight,

Or do dey turn round ven dey undertake

To zee somedings right like oder folks do;

Mit dem eyes, ein lager must look shust like two."
And if such were the fact it seemed plain to me,
He'd like to be cross-eyed two days out of three.
Now as I sat and listened to all that was said,
I called on the Muses to come to my aid,
And teach me a moral worth learning by all,
And they came in a flash at my very first call.

The cross in our own eye we never can see,
While the cross in our neighbor's is plain as can be;
And the cross in ourselves may be oftentimes worse
Than that which in others we're ready to curse.

NORA M'GUIRE'S LOVERS.-WM. Whitehead.

Young Nora McGuire in humble attire,
One sweet summer day in the morning,

Gazed wistfully shy, with a tear in her eye,
O'er the waves that the sun was adorning.

She was seated, ochone, on her trunk all alone,
On the quay of Liverpool harbor;

And her eloquent face had as lovely a grace,

As though she had bloomed in an arbor.

Her poor heart was beating at thought of her meeting

The rough world of places and strangers;

A life yet to know on the treacherous flow

Of ocean and all its wild dangers.

Tom Timmins, galore, and Will Jackson, ashore,

Had been rollicking off to the leeward;

And jollier tars never gazed at the stars,

Or cast up their reckonings seaward.

They were true sons of Mars, and had been in the wars When Britain for volunteers pressed men;

Till the craft was a wreck they had fought the main dec As if the Old Harry possessed them.

'Mid volley and rattle and crises of battle,
They had met all the phases of war;
Stood by Nelson and Hardy who never were tardy,
Through the horrors of red Trafalgar.

It is said, on a time, in a gale on the line,
Their good ship careened on the billows;
And they floated for days o'er the perilous waves,
With the foremast and jib for their pillows.

Long friendship still found them as true as it bound them
When they sailed their first voyage together,
All fresh with their blarney from verdant Killarney,
And hopeful of fair wind and weather.

As Nora was sitting and moments were flitting
In primitive sadness apast her;

And thoughts of the mornings with beautified dawnings
At home, brought the tears all the faster,-

Our messmates came down from the Anchor and Crown
To board the good ship they were seeking;
They spied the fair Nora, with none to adore her,
And crowds pushing on without greeting.

Old women were worrying, and porters were scurrying
With their trunks and their traps to the fore;

As though the whole town was about to dump down
All the plunder it e'er had in store.

The friends Nora greeted as thus she was seated,
Who offered their services freely,

To take her big chest to where she might rest
Aboard of the waiting Cybele.

The ship was eased off from the well crowded wharf,
With cheers from the true and good hearted ;
And 'mid the commotion and breezes from ocean,
Sweet Nora from loving hearts parted.

There's a meddlesome tot, full of mischief and plot,
That oft plays the dickens with men;

To pack them with trouble he don't care a bubble,
Nor does he mind who, where, or when.

'Mid the scenes of departure, this villainous archer
Drew his missiles on poor Tom and Will;
Disregarding what's fair, for what does he care?—
He punctured their hearts with a will.

'Tis well said love is blind, for it oft leaves the mind
In a muddle of cross-cutting pains;
And Nora McGuire its passionate fire

Had kindled in both of their brains.

Though Timmins and Bill had succumbed to no will
That woman ere this might have wielded;
And stood quite aloof, and seemingly proof,
As though from her blandishments shielded—

They now were quite mastered and sore flabbergasted
By a cherry-faced maid with black eyes;

And their friendship's strong chain had a terrible strain In maneuvers to grapple the prize.

So to keep all things square 'twixt this strong loving pair, 'Twas agreed pretty nigh the beginning

They'd all malice belay whene'er fortune should play
Her pranks in the chances of winning.

Now Jackson could dance, or shuffle, or prance
Through a reel, or a minuet measure;

And when on his watch, whether Irish or Scotch
Was the jig, it was just for her pleasure.

But Timmins could sing like a lark on the wing,
And he knew all the ditties of Erin;

So he thought, the young sly, as he caught her sweet eye,
That straight for her heart he was steering.

With dancing and song sure it could not be long
Ere things would become very tender;

At least so it appeared to each one as he veered
To compel the neat craft to surrender.

They palavered the cook and the steward, and took
All their insolence, worry, and banter;

Did them all kinds of chores to get delicate stores,
For smiles of the lovely enchanter.

Tom wove her a mat of fanciful plait,

With initials of blue in the centre;

And this, with each ditty, and many things witty,

He put in love's debit anent her.

But Will went one better with something that met her Sweet fancy, at least for the nonce;

'Twas a fiery red cushion to put pins and such in,

Which she pronounced lovely at once.

Somewhat taken aback Tom still held on his tack,
And rummaged for treasures more stunning;
He fished up whale's teeth, deftly carved in relief,
With fancies and colors becoming.

In this rivalrous way turn about was fair play,
And Will, who had roved in Japan,

Brought forth his jimcracks and cunning nicknacks,
And kickshaws, with slippers and fan.

And so this fine play bowled along every day

To the laughing delight of the crew;

Jesting freely went round, and the gay wags were found Betting lively on who should pull through.

All the passengers too as well as the crew,

Took a jocular share in the zeal;

Some flattered Tom's singing, some Will's lively swinging His neat legs around in the reel.

Now to keep matters trim they took up the whim

Of slipping our tars many a notion;

Many brooches and rings and hosts of neat things
Were heaped on the scales of devotion.

Though Nora was reaping a harvest, and heaping
Her kerchief with treasures quite naively;
No sigh of surrender came forth,-'gainst the tender
Of love's gifts her heart held out bravely.

It was wonderful, too, to the captain and crew,
That our heroes' good will hadn't altered;

No matter what chance each one's hopes could enhance,
Their faith in each other ne'er faltered.

Orestes and Pylades abandoned the ladies

To roam through the wild world together,

And Pythias and Damon were known to all laymen
As ready to die for each other.

But I vow through all time there is naught in the line
Of true friendship like this we are citing;

E'en Jonathan and David, so strongly paraded,
Would hardly be worth the inditing

When compared with the case of two tars without grace,
And both loving the same black-eyed maid,

Yet keeping in view their affection so true,
Without taint or true honor betrayed.